After my MC last year, I decided a change of jobs would be beneficial. I’ve nearly done 6 months in my new job, and got told today I haven’t passed my probation! I’m raging. I was in my previous job for 10 years, so it was a big decision to leave. My direct managers are completely shocked, they all thought I was doing well. But apparently, more senior management disagreed.
I’m absolutely gutted. Not because I loved the job. Because there seemed to be institutional problems there where a lot of people were frustrated, and there was a high turnover. But I’m gutted because I’m now ‘unemployed’. I’ve never been in this situation and it’s terrifying!
My fiancé has been amazing. Telling me not to worry, and that we can jig around the bills to help us survive for the next couple of months.
I’m just so pissed off! I’ve lived with depression and anxiety for years, lost my baby last year, now lost my job. We’ve got fertility problems, and I’m loosing my self confidence more and more as this shit happens.
I just feel like a total failure on every level now.
Written by
Kathryn1984
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Hi Kathryn, you are definitely not a failure! You are going through a tough time which is of no fault of yours. I’m a big believer that things happen for a reason, we don’t always know why at the time but these setbacks come to ‘try’ us and give us life lessons. Believe in yourself and that thing will be ok but you are definitely not a failure. Sending you big hugs xx
So sorry to hear of this setback for you. It sounds like a problem with the place you were working, not with you or your ability to do the job. Don’t panic! Give yourself a bit of time to breathe, even if just a couple of days. I really hope things will turn a corner for you soon xx
Well I’m going for a weeks holiday I’m Lanzarote on Wednesday, all paid for already. I’m just so mad at myself and the world. Maybe my depression hasn't helped my employability, so I think I’ll try and chase up some counselling, although it’s an 8 month waiting list. I’ve just had 2 years in hell and I’m just waiting on that road to turn, and get a bit of good luck for once,
You are not a failure you seem a strong person and I believe one day soon you will see this as experiences and you will get what you worked hard for. This has an end and please don't stress I wish you will recover during your holiday I wish you the best honey.
That’s great you have a holiday coming up soon, hope it can help you unwind. I’m sorry you feel your depression affects your employability - I think that says much more about your employer than it does you. I have a long history of depression and my boss and employer have always been really understanding and supportive. I hope your next employer will be more understanding.
Go easy on yourself my dear. Yes the waiting list for therapy on the NHS is long but get the ball rolling, nothing to lose xx
I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this but honestly I believe what’s not meant for you passes by (this job) and what’s good is ahead of you. Keep strong and know this journey is a huge struggle but you’ll get there in one piece.
I agree with this. I don’t think this job was meant for you. As scary as this is, it has happened for a reason. In time something better is going to present itself... xx
Sounds like it's all a bit much at the moment. Chocolate, glass if wine leisurely bath, chick flick called for.
Your job doesn't define you sweetie, it will all work out...Hope you have some really good people in your life. Hunker up close to them and press reboot.
I ended up recently saying how jobs and interviews are just one part of life rather than some sort of be all and end all but it's hard to take losing your job and it's always the way these things come in the same blow isn't it?
Omg I'm so sorry. Since starting my ivf I am so much more worried about things life this. I work for a local authority and constantly get told my job is in danger because of cuts. Thank God for your supportive partner. I'm so sorry your experiencing this but best of luck. I'm sure you'll get something new soon
Hey Kathryn, sorry to hear about you losing your job! The place sounds like it was a bit of a nightmare from what you were saying so perhaps it was for the best in the long run. I know it must be super scary to be out of work but your OH is being supportive and you will get another job. I see that you are going on hols. Go away and have a nice time. You have had such a hard time, you deserve a bloody break, you're no failure let me tell you girlie......probably a stonger fighter than most people that you know. Life is shit sometimes and very difficult to understand but you'll get back on your feet soon enough, like you always do!!! Lots of love.xx
Thank you so much. I feel like I hate the world today. I feel cursed! But I guess it could be worse. At least I have my fiancé and mine and his parents who will help us out. I guess a lot of people don’t have that. It’s a bit of a relief I’m a way getting away from that job. I tried something, and I guess it wasn’t right for me. I’m just going to try and stay positive. It’s certainly not the worst thing I have been through! I’ve been through far worse, but it’s just another stress to add to the pile. I’ve already applied for over 30 jobs since yesterday. I’m away on Wednesday. When I get back hopefully I’ll get a couple interviews.
Maybe there are those worse off and always will be but there's plenty of sorrow for everyone and you are entitled to feel how you do and forget about the supposedly worse off ones as we all go through problems in life.
I get that, I think we all feel a bit pissed at the world now and then especially when it seems like one things after another! Im confident with your tenacity that you will get something else, something better and you're right its definitey not the worst thing you have been through. That fighting spirit has kicked into action already with you on the job search already. Have a nice time away and fingers crossed you get a fab job when you come home.xxx
That's a right blow isn't it being told they are sorry but they are going to have to let you go when you have worked so hard to get that new job!
Life is so bloody unfair at times to everyone in different ways as with me last month I had cried because I hadn't got a position I had gone for myseld abd I have been trying for ages and I found that resentment and anger would flare up over this every month just before I came on my period due to the fact it's unfair more than anything else as its always that someone else supposedly had more experience which I think is a load of lies myself and it's more to do with faces fitting in my view!
I am sorry to hear about the lost baby last year as well as that's a right blow being pregnant one minute and then its snatched away from you same as the job getting snatched away as well!
I have had feelings of failure as well over the jobs and losing out to supposedly more experienced candidates and I found out that no it's not me that's a failure it's more like its them that's the failures and if they are going to be like that then I'm better off out of there and good riddance to them as my friends said I am too good for those jobs and no I am not a failure as they say you fail at things but it doesn't mean you have failed as a person!
What I decided to do was forget about those crap places as they probably weren't very nice to work for anyway so good riddance to them and I have decided myself to see about getting joy from other parts of life like interests, trying out different things, learning new skills as in no way are those crap places and jobs the only thing in life and the be all and end all in my view!
Take your time to grieve the loss of the job and the baby and best of luck to you. My only advice is that it's raw now and with me I find that the passage of time is a great helper.
This will be so scary right now and I can totally relate to the feeling that your fertility problems and mental health have had a negative impact upon your work life, which just doesn’t seem at all fair. It’s great you have your partner’s support, so use that wisely and take some time to switch off from it all whilst you’re on holiday and then work towards finding a job that will be right for you when you return. I know it seems like a terrible thing right now, but I honestly feel that this has given you an opportunity to find something better and that you will look back and realise it happened for a reason. Enjoy your break in the sun! ☀️ xx
Thank you 🙏 someone said to me: when you’re an old lady and thinking back on your life, will you really care about this? No, I won’t. I’ll be happier somewhere else. And maybe I need a month or two off to work on my confidence and mental health.
I know my comment is probably not very helpful, but surely your direct managers have a better understanding of how you've been doing than the people higher up? Can you appeal this? Can they not do more to support your case?
Either way, I'm sorry to hear you're in this position. Don't let it define you. Take advantage of the time out of work to rest and find a job where youll be appreciated. It's such a rubbish situation but sounds like your husband is being supportive. All the best and hope it works out.
It was a 6 months probation and I didn’t pass. Tough luck unfortunately. Apparently I have very little rights. Unless I could prove it was unlawful eg disability discrimination. But it is virtually impossible to prove these things. There’s nothing for me to fight really. That’s business I guess. The world is an unfair place. I wouldn’t want to go back there anyway now, after this. I’m surprised how little job protection you have in the first 2 years.
Hello I'm so sorry this has happened to you! Life can really be unfair sometimes. I was made redundant two years into trying for a baby. At the same time we had just bought a house that we had to do up fe scratch and my OH, while he clearly had a problem as found out by the previous doctor was refusing to go to the doctor in our new town. We almost split up about it. So I thought - god I've lost my job, can't have a baby, and am going to lose someone I love. Long story short: I found such a better job - the redundancy was the best thing that ever happened to me. I absolutely love my (now not so new) job. The near split made my OH take this infertility thing seriously. We have a lovely new house that some how we didn't lose the mortgage on with my redundancy. I would love to say we have a baby but we don't yet but we are going for ET soon. I know that this can be such a hard time right now. But if the company was rotten from within you really are best out of it. I am thinking of you and I really hope that you find some peace in the midst of this. Don't let it ruin your confidence. It's easy to think is it me or is it them? When I moved to my now job I realised - it really was them and I'm doing so well and smashing all my targets and objectives. Believe your gut - it really is them!! X
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