Haven’t posted for a while been trying to get on with my life after 1st failed ICSI. Think I’ve lost my hope that this will ever happen. It’s been 3 years and now waiting for NHS IVF as we just can not afford any more private. Think I upset my parter who ask if I can see us having a baby in the next year and I’m like no not really. How have you all cope with this feeling of hopelessness? I’m struggling and I want to be positive. I’ve tried throwing myself into work but it’s not healthy. Any help or advice would be much appreciated. Don’t feel I can talk to anyone else about how sad and low I feel and that this will never happen for us.
Thanks all. Baby dust to you all xxx
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Em2405
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Hey. Your feelings of hopelessness are understandable. Allow yourself time.
I have had to give myself an endpoint for the ivf as I know I just can’t keep putting myself through the heartache and at some point I need to move on.
I’m trying to take it one day at a time and always hoping for the best.
Thank you. I’ve said after the NHS IVF I’m done. I can’t put myself through it any more mentally or physically.
I just can’t do the hoping for the best part... seems to have left me. I feel like it will never work and we will never have a baby so what’s the point?
I hate feeling so hopeless and helpless. I can’t do anything so I’m just at the mercy of the waiting list.
I feel very hopeless and helpless today. There is still a very little part of me that is hoping for the best but today it’s being swamped. I have to tell myself what will be will be. Sadly none of this is in our control.
I really hope you’re not waiting too long and get that glimmer of happiness we all wish for. X
Hi Em2405
It is so so hard to keep picking yourself up but we do somehow find the strength to continue. I take it that you do have frozen embryos from your last round? And the clinic should have offered you both counselling?
I have always said no, I don't need counselling - but this year I have had some and it has really helped.
Also, you know you have us all here to support you.
Perhaps you might consider talking to a counsellor? It’s not for everyone but some people have found it helpful. All you can do on a practical level is take things one step at a time. You will get through the days and then one day you’ll look back and see that a lot of time has passed, hopefully with a baby in your arms xx
Hi Em2405. I could have written this post myself as that's exactly how me and dh are feeling. Sorry I've got no advice, but know that you're not alone in feeling like that. People on here are so supportive, so hopefully through your post we'll both find a bit of comfort. Xxx
I’m flinging myself I to work, joining charity teams, looking at going abroad to do some good, getting my thread views sorted. I’m exhausted even thinking about my distractions 🙈🙈 xxx
Don't give up hope! My wife and I had some very very dark days, especially as both our sets of families are having children all the time, friends from school and university, work friends. Its easy to feel its all hopeless.
There are still lots of options for you. I know you said you can't afford more cycles, but you can save, easier said than done, but not impossible - you can go abroad where its a lot cheaper , especially if you're young, you have time. In the future regardless if you're in your 40's you can look at donor eggs, again abroad its cheaper. There's adoption that isn't as difficult or long winded as many people say. Many people are put off adoption because they think its really hard to adopt. We know friends who have adopted and the process is very straight forward, she actually said the local authority had a big waiting list especially for kids with siblings.
You have hope, so don't give up. Couple counselling really helped us, it was a space for us to really speak how we felt and support each other. Though our IVF journey has been very tough, as a couple we feel stronger than ever.
Thank you all. I’m so overwhelmed with the love and support on this group. It’s such a big help on those really low days.
I see so many of you going through this pain and I can’t believe how strong you all are and continue to be.
I will just take it one day at a time and hope I start to feel a little better. Hope I get my NHS appointment soon.
I had some counselling at the end of last year but not fertility related. May try to get some more I just know how stretched the NHS is and don’t want to be a bigger drain on them.
It means so much to me to have you replying. Thank you all so much.
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