New job/advice needed

Hi all hope everyone is as well as can be, as some of you will know i had my EC october 28th and because of OHSS i had to freeze all my viable embryos to have a FET once i was well enough... which Should be in january, i decided to use the time i had to search for a new job because ive been employed by the same company for 11 yrs and was desperate for something new!! I was successful in my search and got myself a better job in a higher position and salary than the last and im due to start november 28th!! My only problem now is im going to be put on a 3 month probation which will run into january when im due to do my FET im not sure if i should delay it further as ill have to have scans every other day until transfer or if it would be better to do it once my probation is up! Ive seen others say a natural FET has less scans so im not sure if that could work out better for me, any advice would be helpful, my review appointment is next tuesday and im not sure if i should be confirming my january cycle start or telling them id like to wait a little longer x

18 Replies

  • Congratulations on the new job!

    To be honest, I don't know much about FET, but I would think [just my personal view] that you might be a bit nervous during your probationary period and this can't help the FET. If it was me, I might wait until after the probationary period was over and I was more relaxed. That said, only you can make the decision, but have a think about what stress might do to the outcome. If you discuss the new job at your review appt, they may be able to give you some useful advice. Hope it all works out for you, whatever you decide. x

  • Hi madcatlady55, thanks alot😊 yh im thinking the same tbh im not sure how i would cope with the pressure of starting a new job and then juggling appointments aswel as later the anxiety id feel when the FET is done...think it would be wise for me to settle in and once i feel comfortable then continue, thanks for ur advice x

  • Starting a new role in a new company is tough I would delay treatment at least then you don't have the stress of both to worry about xxxx

  • Thank you mrsdurbs, you are right it would be really tough when i think about it, main thing is i have my little embryos on ice and waiting for when i am ready to continue...i like to think the time will fly by now i have something new to focus on x

  • Hey, congratulations on your new job. If it was me I would delay it. Ivf is stressful enough and I wouldn't want to be worrying about what work might be thinking. Would you have the option to work from home some days in your new job as that could be a solution?

    Good luck with whatever you decide and in your new job. Xxxx

  • Hi sarahndave, i really wouldnt want to worry about what work are thinking so early on, i wouldnt have the option to work from home but not to worry im sure it wont take me long to settle in to my new job role so i can begin to think about picking up where we left off with the treatment...thanks for the suggestions x

  • I'm in a really similar position! We had IVF approved in October but when I went for the first consultation they said that my stress levels are very high because I work in a job that is a big commute away. So I applied for a new job and got it 😊 However, they will only hold the funding for IVF until March - bang in the middle of my probation 😒. What to do? Just go ahead anyway and try and keep it quiet from my employer?

  • My boss has no idea, not great and adds stress but I don't have a permanent contract so hey ho ;)

  • Hi there, congrats on the new job. I'm not to sure what treatment you are having but I would say just see how it goes (sounds like your thinking to much into it). We as people tend to assume how things will be and when we live them there nothing to what we expect (speaking from experience), You also have to remember that everyone is different and everyone responses differently to treatment so I would say concentrate on making a good impression at work and when the time comes at least you will be able to have that discussion with you manager as you been hard working from the start.

    Wishing you all the best in your journey😊

  • Thank you for your response. Yeah I think too much into everything! I think that's a good idea - make a good impression and then talk to them about it. We've been trying for over 2 years now so I'm hoping that most people would be understanding of our situation. Thanks for your advice! Xx

  • I totally understand the position you are in. I have been trying for almost 4yrs now with gaps of its not working to gaps of lets try again. I think most of us on here have felt like that but try not to over think it you will drive yourself mad lool. It sound weird but try and make it as normal as possible it takes away a lot of the stress and anxiety (treatment I'm talking about) you will be fine and you need to believe that you will be ok if you allow your thoughts to get carried away you will put pressure on yourself and you won't even recognize it.

    Stay positive (which is easier said than done)

  • Ah bless you. It's tough and has such an effect on all aspects of life (not least my marriage - we've been tearing strips off each other recently 😩). But life must go on and my job is one area of my life I do have control over. I'm excited to take the focus off babies and onto an exciting new job. Thanks for your support - fingers crossed it works out for both of us soon xx

  • Hi there,

    I recently had a successful FET. It really is so much easier a process than the fresh cycle. However I wouldn't want to be stressed at work during your 2ww so I would definitely consider delaying until Feb cycle when work is more settled. I work full time 9-5pm and during the natural cycle FET I had to keep going to my clinic every 2 days for nearly 2 weeks to get a blood test where they were checking for the ovulation hormone. Usually it would only take one or two tests but being me, my cycle decided to run later than usual! All the staff started to know me. I just went in first thing and then went to work each time.

    Some clinics don't check via bloods but give you ovulation sticks to use at home, so you might not even need to go in until FET day. Once they detect the ovulation time then they call you in 4-6 days later for your transfer. Then it's back to the usual 2ww.

    I managed to go though both ICSI cycles without informing my work at all, I just went outwith work hours, or took days off for the procedures.

    You might want to read up on their maternity policy too, I think it slightly changes based on how long your service with them is, but you would still qualify for statutory maternity.

    Best wishes with whatever you decide. xxx

  • Hi smallcat thanks for your advice, at my clinic they dnt seem to do blood tests only scans so if i do a natural FET i shouldnt have to have that many appointments, i managed the whole process of icsi with work just had early morning appointments an went to work straight after (but they were aware of me having treatment) hoping when it comes to the time ill be able to do the same with my new work apart from telling them all the details, hopefully once i start ill find out how soon i can take holiday leave and can then maybe plan to continue once i can be off, ive been looking up maternity pay and it says something about working a minimum of 26 weeks but i will look in what the work policy say aswel x

  • Hey in doing a FET in Jan|February

    I understand that it starts with your cycle then Is 2 weeks of hormone patches before implantation.

    Depending on your cycle, you might be OK

  • Hi losinghopefast, hopefully this will be the case for me but i will have more details once i attend my review appointment tuesday coming, ive no idea if my clinic even do natural FETs but thats what my heart is set on so i hope so x

  • Hi I have only just been in my job 6 months and I told my manager about 2 months ago and she was so supportive. I think you have to do what's right for you but I couldn't put it off as I'm impatient :). I work in HR so know what the expectation should be on how managers treat their employees so you shouldn't be treated any differently or feel under any more stress to prove yourself. I spent a lot of time with my manager giving her a lot of information print outs etc that helped her understand the timings and what happens so she understands what each part means. She found it very useful and I think it helps for her to be in the loop more so she can support me too! I know it can't be an easy decision to make but good luck :) xx

  • Hi emmaday28 Thank you for ur input sounds like very positive advice, i think i will let me employers in on my plans so it is less stress full but i definatly think i should get through my probation 1st jus so by the end of it i should feel more comfortable with the place of work and my shift patterns....ive not worked full time in 6 years so i think that alone will take abit of adjusting to x

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