A little good news just when I needed it.. But do I go for FET or fresh cycle?

[aamiller405]

UPDATE: so unless the consultant is totally against it, myself and my partner have decided to go for only the FET. We've come to the decision that if we aren't successful with our 7 embryos then we'll move on and start the adoption process. It's been a tough decision, but I don't want to spend my whole life tied up in fertility treatments and end up being too old to enjoy adoption fully. I know this isn't a decision that would be right for everyone but I think it's right for us xox

So our first ICSI was a private cycle.. Weve had 1 transfer which resulted in a BFP but had an early miscarriage.. And we have 6 embryos left. (2 grade A and 4 grade C)

Weve just had a phonecall from our NHS hospital to say we've made it to the top of the list which is perfect timing.

So my understanding is we're entitled to a full fresh cycle if we wish or can use an embryo from our own clinic and have a FET... now I'm wondering do I just stick with a FET or do I do the fresh cycle again to create more embryos??

I should add that I developed a polyp during my fresh cycle.. We don't really know why but I'm worried it was down to the drugs and so wonder if it would happen again which would mean more surgery and another set back.

[Cinderella5]

Eeeek what a decision to have to make! What's included in your fresh cycle? Is transfer of an embryo plus any frozen included? I think if it was me I would be tempted to have a go at another fresh cycle. You have some pretty good emrbyos so you have a high chance of success with them however if for any reason that some dont thaw well then your numbers could diminish. Its tough on your body doing a fresh cycle again but if you think you would manage I would be tempted to do that. Fresh cycles are pretty expensive vs an FET. Good luck with what you decide.xx

[aamiller405 in reply to Cinderella5]

Thanks for your reply.. I can't fully remember exactly what he said was included.. If i remember right it in includes the full fresh cycle including transfer but we'd pay for embryo storage.. And then I think we're also entitled to another frozen transfer if we go that route. But if we skip straight to frozen then we can't bakc track and have the cycle afterwards.

Im pretty sure that's what the doctor said last time but will check all again when we see him.

Yeah losing some to thawing is what I'm worried about but then part of me wonders if I would ever try more than 6 transfers.. I think it 6 didn't work then maybe it would be time to go down a different route. Aw I just don't know yet 🙈🙈 but thanks for your advice xo

[Cinderella5 in reply to aamiller405]

It is a thought for sure to think that we may have to do this multiple times. Ive gotten through 10 embryos so far however most of those were double transfers (6 in total so far) so a bit different! I didnt think I would do all those transfers either! Ha ha ha It is a hard decision, take your time and dont rush into anything! The fact that you managed to get a BFP already is a good sign so it might be the right thing to just do FET's. I had major problems just trying to get a BFP so I guess that's where my logic comes from.xx

[aamiller405 in reply to Cinderella5]

Wow you are a warrior! I don't know if I'd have the strength to go through that many transfers but then again I can't imagine giving up so I dunno.. Lot of thinking to do.. Thanks for your help xo

[Cinderella5 in reply to aamiller405]

Thanks you, no I dont think we really know at the beginning how far we can push ourselves. Goodness knows where the strength comes from but you find it!xx

[Fingerscrossed38]

How exciting! I'd do the full fresh cycle! Let us know how you get on! Xx

[aamiller405 in reply to Fingerscrossed38]

Thank you for your help.. I definitely take everyones advice on board on here xo

[Gueritarubia]

Hey, sorry not sure how much advice I can give but will try. I think you have a valid point about your six Frosties. You’ll never know how they thaw, but they were assessed strong enough to be frozen so fairly likely that most will thaw well. I have a daughter from my second fresh cycle, which also gave us a whopping seven on ice. About to go through a third FET trying for a sibling. We know I can get pregnant, so far they thawed well. I always knew I wouldn’t do a fresh cycle ever again provided we didn’t lose all through thawing. Now on the brink of a third transfer, I honestly don’t know how many more transfers I have the stamina for. But easy for me to say as we have a gorgeous daughter, and also time is running out (I’m 40) so I can’t/don’t want to spread this out over multiple years.

Given you know you can get pregnant, I’d be tempted to just do FETs. If you think you’d love a big family though, maybe a good chance to amass as many Frosties as you can

Good luck with whatever you’ll decide

[aamiller405 in reply to Gueritarubia]

Aw thank you so much for your reply... Honestly at this stage I'd be happy to just have one little baba! We've already said we'll most likely adopt a sibling once we have a successful biological child.

Such a tough choice but really appreciate everyone's advice xo

[Gueritarubia in reply to aamiller405]

That’s what our plans always were but then we got seven Frosties and we figured we might as well use them... 😉

[Bramble_]

It’s definitely a tough one, but I think I’d do the fresh as then you get two goes for free? Instead of FET where it’s only one. However easy for me to say, I’ve never gone through IVF and know it’s gruelling on the body. I hope everything goes well for you! X

[aamiller405 in reply to Bramble_]

Thank you for your advice.. And good luck with your journey xo

[Shirazlover2013]

From a purely financial perspective I’d go for a fresh cycle with the NHS. It’s cheaper to self fund an FET later down the line (ie for a sibling). It’s nice you get the choice though. Good luck!

[aamiller405 in reply to Shirazlover2013]

Yeah definitely makes more sense financially.. I have a little while to mull it over anyway xo

[KW83]

If it were me I think I'd go for the fresh cycle, but that's partly because I coped quite well with stims (I was on short protocol which helped!) so it doesn't seem like a bad option. If you did go down the roye of frozen transfers only, and had a couple not work and possibly went for double transfers, you could run out of frostie quite quickly. Then again, you could easily have a successful pregnancy from your next FET, be totally content and not need any more. A hard decision, but at least another fresh cycle would give you more options for no more money.

[aamiller405 in reply to KW83]

Thank you.. I didnt cope overly well with the stims and I developed a polyp which had to be removed.. We don't know why it developed but I'm worried the stims may have caused it.. Plenty of questions to ask the consultant anyway xo

[KW83 in reply to aamiller405]

That's it I suppose, get as much knowledge as you can so that you can write a really well informed list of pros and cons for both. At least then you'll know you've made a decision based on all the available info.

[aamiller405 in reply to KW83]

Thank you that's a good idea.. Hope all is well with you x

[Kitcat12]

Hi lovely, I'd recommend a crack at the FET. I found the whole process of the FET a lot easier on my body and generally less intense and invasive. A lot less scans, no injections and less time spent travelling back and forth to the clinic. Plus, I read that FET embryos are really strong because they've already survived a freeze and thaw process. My little FET embryo is wriggling around inside me right now so I'm definitely a little biased towards this route. And anyway, we had to complete a full cycle by using our Frosties before we were entitled to another fresh, so we actually didn't have a choice 😂Best of luck with whatever you decide to do! x

[aamiller405 in reply to Kitcat12]

Thank you, I know most peoples advice is to go fresh but I'm actually swaying to the FET myself xo

[Jenjen84]

If you get a free funded round, I would go for that before going for another private FET. It is harder on your body but financially, your better off and you have a chance to bank some more embryos..

I’ve fallen pregnant on an FET and a fresh, my fresh stuck and I’m now 27 weeks.. My FET ended last year at 7 wks mainly because I have since found a blood clotting disorder to which I’m now on clexane for..

Whatever you decide, best of luck xxx

[aamiller405 in reply to Jenjen84]

Thanks for your reply, really appreciate everyone's thoughts x

[Hidden]

It’s a personal choice and I know a fresh round takes its toll on your body and it’s not pleasant..... I had the choice too of using my frozen after my first failed ICSI (was initially leaning to frozen as I felt I didn’t want to do fresh again)or having a fresh round and it was recommended by the fertility councillor to take the opportunity of another fresh (as they are expensive in comparison to frozen) as you are able to bank your Frosties for further goes if need be 🤷🏼‍♀️.... but you know what’s best for you x

[aamiller405 in reply to Hidden]

Yeah we can kept our frosties in storage but tbh I think I'm leaning towards frozen unless the consultant is really against it xo

[SunnyDream]

I got my negative after I transferred 2 fresh embryos and got my positive after frozen FET with one embryo. I really don't know why but I heard many successful stories after frozen one then after fresh. I wanted to ask my dr the statistics as it is interested me much.

[aamiller405 in reply to SunnyDream]

Well I know the statistics for the NHS clinic I'm going to actually have slightly better successes with frozen transfer.. Its not a massive difference though like 1.5% xo

[mary77777 in reply to aamiller405]

One of the clinics I visited told me that the body has time to recover after stims and be more prepared for a pregnancy when you do a frozen transfer. So lately they generally recommend FET. Still, it depends on each body and how it reacts to the stims and how it usually prepares every month for ovulation.

In the end I did a fresh transfer (with another clinic, where we first agreed on pgs with subsequent FET, but did not do it because of the low number of eggs), as things looked good (uterine lining and bood tests) and it stuck.

[SunnyDream in reply to mary77777]

I was told the same but still wanted to try the fresh one for the first time. Actually, they even suggested me to do so as my lining was good and there was hope that it might work out. But unfortunately, it didn't((.

[SunnyDream in reply to aamiller405]

Thanks. Though the difference is very slight still it is. So have you already decided what to choose? What does your dr say about this?

[aamiller405 in reply to SunnyDream]

Yeah we've decided to just along with frozen.. We haven't meet the Dr yet so as long as he agrees.. Hope your journey is going OK xo

[SunnyDream in reply to aamiller405]

Glad to hear that you've made your decision)) Congratulations with that. Will be much looking forward to your updates on here and keeping everything crossed for you.

AFM - we have already chosen several cute donors and passed this info toy our coordinator. Again waiting))((. Hope they will be checking their availability not more than a month. It is so hard to wait! I understood that I am very impatient, lol. Want everything and at once.

[aamiller405 in reply to SunnyDream]

Hope you're not kept waiting too long.. Everything crossed for you xo

[SunnyDream in reply to aamiller405]

thx hun, I hope too. I was told that I'll have to wait approximately a month or even more. There is my birthday in December and I dreamed to get positive news till that time so it will be the most wonderful gift to my 40

[Hidden]

6 frozen embryos is a great number. It all depends how you can mentally deal with a fresh round of IVF. After my first failed cycle of IVF my partner had to talk me into it! That's saying a lot! Good thing he did, we made 3 embryos - 1 fresh and 1 FET now bubbies and one embyo left that we are putting up for adoption 😍. It's a hard decision to make to do that extra cycle or not

[aamiller405 in reply to Hidden]

Aw so glad things worked out for you and amazing you're able to donate the embryo.. Thanks for your advice xo

[SunnyDream in reply to Hidden]

Sorry for interrupting your conversation but I'm curious why you consider adoption as easier way than one more cycle? I understand and know how hard to go through all of this mentally and physically but don't you think that adoption is a more complicated process? Can be a surrogacy one of the options for you?

[aamiller405 in reply to SunnyDream]

I don't necessarily see it as an easier option.. Just another option. The way I look at, and I'm not saying I'm correct but my way of seeing it is that if we aren't successful with 7 embryos then obviously there would be more issues than we're already aware of.

Atm our issue is male factor and so there is currently no particular reason why I shouldnt have success with one of the 7.

But worst case scenario and we don't, then for us we've decided that would be a good time to draw a line under the fertility treatment and go down another route.

Fertility treatments have already ruled 4 years of my life.. If we had to use all 7 embryos that would take say another 2-3 years. If we were to do another fresh cycle and get say 7 more embryos...then do we just keep going indefinitely? I wouldn't have the finances or the emotions to go through that.

I know there are several different options available but adoption is what we've decided as a couple would be the best route for us to go down if these frozen cycles fail.

[Hidden in reply to aamiller405]

I replied to you instead of sunnydream by mistake. My partner has azoospermia totally male related so considering there are 6 in the freezer that is amazing. Those are pretty good odds right there. Lol I didn't even get any A's

[SunnyDream in reply to aamiller405]

I see. Of course, it is really good that you were able to take this not easy decision together with your hubby. If you support each other in everything it is priceless. I really wish you all the luck of the world with your last cycle and will be keeping everything crossed for the positive outcome! Baby dust hun

[Hidden in reply to SunnyDream]

I think you have misunderstood my response, she has 6 embryos in the freezer, 6 good chances that may make babies if she doesn't feel she can go through another round. I was just letting her know that after my only 3 embryos managed to get 2 babies now putting the remaining embryo up for adoption. Anything is possible.

[aamiller405 in reply to Hidden]

Oh sorry I thought sunny dream was asking me about adoption but maybe she was asking you.. Im not sure now lol

[SunnyDream in reply to aamiller405]

Sorry girls for the misunderstanding)) I was really asking you about the adoption)

But in any case, thanks both of you for the answers

[Hidden]

That’s a tough call! Great you’re going to get some funded help though whichever you choose. I think i’d look at my finances and if I could still manage to pay for a further fresh cycle if needed in future if needed I’d go FET now. If there was no way I could pay in future I might go fresh now. A fresh cycle is so much to put your body through again so a tough decision. Good luck with it. Xx

[aamiller405 in reply to Hidden]

Hi... We had a really good talk last night and decided were going to go frozen even though we won't be able to go fresh again in the future. This process has already taken up enough of my life.. By the time we get through 7 embryos if it still hasn't worked then we have said we will move on to adoption rather than risk trying for more years and then end up being too old to enjoy adopting. I know thats not an ideal choice for everyone and its not a choice I imagined I'd ever have to make but I think it's the right one for us.. Hope you're keeping well xo

[Hidden in reply to aamiller405]

It sounds a very positive choice. The decisions we make in our journeys are tough and it only needs to be right for you and your partner. Fingers 🤞🏻🤞🏻 for your FET. I’m keeping well thanks - still all feels fragile but less so every week that passes. X

[aamiller405 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you.. Aw that's good.. How far along are you now? Xo

[Hidden in reply to aamiller405]

14 weeks 🙂

[aamiller405 in reply to Hidden]

Aw that's fantastic!! Xo