*sensitive* Trying for a sibling - straight to FET or try naturally?

[Ltry]

We are super lucky to have our son from an FET in 2022 and now thinking about trying for a sibling. We have 3 embryos in the freezer (all day 6) but I'm not sure whether to go straight to transfer or give it a go naturally first.

We have had 1 natural pregnancy which happened after egg collection and before FET (had to do a freeze all because of OHSS) and ended in MMC. Before that we tried for 2 years with no success and I'm not sure I can cope with that monthly cycle of grief again. But obviously FET is £££ so if we don't have to pay then would mean I can save for mat leave instead. The embryos were created when I was 32 and I'm now 35 so that's playing on my mind too as I know stats go down after 35 and I'm worried about another loss.

I know ultimately this is a personal decision but if anyone has any thoughts or has been through similar I'd love to hear.

[Bimsie1310]

The only thing I can add is it's the age of the embryo rather than the age of the women that is the factor so it doesn't matter that you are now older as your embryos are still 32. That's why donor eggs often work for older women as the egg is still younger.

[Ltry in reply to Bimsie1310]

Thanks. Yes sorry that's what I meant in terms of a natural pregnancy might be higher risk as I am now 35 so obviously my eggs are older than the embryos I have!

[Nenad]

I’d personally try naturally first because pregnancy is very possible at the age of 35 and above. Your embryos aren’t going anywhere so you can always transfer when you’re tired of trying naturally xx

[Hidden]

Just wanted to wish you good luck with what ever you decide Maybe you could give yourself a fixed amount time of trying naturally before trying FET

Take care

Janet-Partner

[TTCBabyA]

I am currently pregnant with my first baby after my second FET, baby due next year. Reason for IVF was PCOS(irregular cycle, investigations didn’t find anything else ) when it’s time for baby 2 I plan to start trying naturally for 1-3months before I’m really ready just to see(should start around when baby turns 1 to give us enough time). We tried naturally for 2 years before going for IVF and never got a spontaneous pregnancy. I don’t think I’m willing to put myself through all that again. I have 2 frozen embryos left. Turning 32 next year btw. So it all depends on you, I think give yourself a time frame to try naturally, not a very long time such that it starts to stress you out and if nothing happens during that time schedule your FET. For me I’d rather spend money for a 30/40% chance than the emotional turmoil and uncertainty with tracking cycles month after month

[Ltry in reply to TTCBabyA]

Thank you. Yes I think settling a timeframe is a good idea! Then at least I have an end date if it's not working on. All the best for your pregnancy!

[TTCBabyA in reply to Ltry]

Thank you❤️

[StarsAllAround]

We had the same idea to try naturally before using our remaining embryos so once I stopped breastfeeding I we started trying I started doing the ovulation tests but sadly over 5 months I didn't get a single positive (I used the same ones before when we started trying 7 years ago so know I was using them correctly) I guess I've just run out of eggs now as my AMH was low when we started IVF 5 years ago. As I'm not ovulating we have now done 2 medicated FETs first one ended in miscarriage at 7 weeks. Currently 8 weeks pregnant with 2 attempt. If your happy to wait a little longer for a sibling then there's no harm in trying naturally you can use the time to save some money to pay for FET and ensure your body is in good condition for it. Good luck 👍

[mizz_innah]

I just gave birth last July to our second baby from the same embryos made when I was 32. We were so thankful it worked on our 1st try. I am 37 when we did the FET. Good luck.

[Belldandy]

I have unexplained infertility and now pregnant with baby #2 (17 weeks). We tried naturally for about 7 months as soon as my period returned (although I was still breastfeeding) and that didn’t work. As soon as I stopped breastfeeding we went for treatment and I am glad we didn’t wait any longer because we used up the embryos we had from previous ER and those didn’t stuck. I had to do a new ER in order to become pregnant again. Thinking about all of this now, I personally wouldn’t try naturally but that’s because I never had a single natural positive. I have accepted that it is very unlikely that I ever do become pregnant naturally.

[Ltry in reply to Belldandy]

Thank you. Yes I'm worried that the pregnancy we did manage that ended was somehow linked to me being overstimulated a couple of months prior due to egg collection. I think it was only the second cycle after that I fell pregnant. So in all my other time trying I didn't fall pregnant so don't want to just waste time if it's not going to happen!

[Twiglet2]

From my experience you might need another egg collection for a sibling (I had 2 x day 6s left that didn’t work form round with my son and needed 5 more collections for a sibling but I’m now 42!)

so personally I would start arranging to go for the FETs and just try naturally in between as well. That way if you do need another collection you should still be fairly and if trying naturally in between you get the best of both worlds. Best of luck 🥰🤗💜

[Ltry in reply to Twiglet2]

Thank you. Yes I actually should probably call my clinic first and see what the wait times are like! If it's going to be months any way then we might as well just try. I think if we end up transferring all 3 and none work that will be it for us. I don't know if I can (emotionally or financially) go through a whole fresh round.

[Twiglet2 in reply to Ltry]

Yeah we phoned in the July and by the time we did paperwork, had consult and started treatment officially etc it was November before our actual transfer so that might work for you. I said the exact same about just using the Frosties and then stop….. but I couldn’t 🤣🤣🤣

[Suz994]

Hey, we were in a similar boat this year trying to make the decision too. We had IVF in 2022 for our little boy born July 23 ❤️

We stopped not trying in April this year and miraculously fell pregnant the first month which unfortunately ended in MC at 7 weeks. We decided to continue trying naturally because the reason you stated with the £££ of FET. We had another MC in July and August but after finally being prescribed progesterone something changed and we’re currently 15 weeks from September.

Before we had IVF I’d never once had a positive test in 3+ years so the fact I am even able to write this is a miracle to me. I don’t know what to suggest because naturally is so tough too with the unknown every month. If money wasn’t a problem we would have tried FET first but I know now how hard the miscarriages can be and I don’t know if I’d put myself through that as well as losing money 😔 it’s such a tough decision! Good luck with whatever you decide ❤️ x

[Ltry in reply to Suz994]

Ahh same, my little boy was born July 23 as well! Thanks so much for the positive story! So sorry to hear about your losses. This is something that really worries me as the one we had previously really hit me badly. I still have some pessaries left from the FET that I think are in date so wonder if we do manage a miracle whether it would be worth using them.

[Suz994 in reply to Ltry]

Ah I love that! Wow what an age they are right now, life is crazy 😂

I’m so sorry for your loss too, nothing can prepare you and it just feels cruel that it’s another thing we have to experience and go through? The first one hit me hard too and I couldn’t believe the pain I was in, unfortunately it was so bad that it brought our breastfeeding to a complete stop - this was probably the worst part of it for me 😔

Throughout the losses I was very conscious of checking my progesterone along with HCG, and could see the correlation with my progesterone drop then HCG following which at least gave me some sort of warning I was losing the pregnancies. I found a private doctor/clinic nearby that was understanding of why I wanted them and would always call in the evenings etc when results came through as they knew how painful the waiting was! If I had some spare I probably would have taken them from a positive test considering I used them for our one successful pregnancy and now this one ❤️

[Daughterofaking]

Hi, i had a natural pregnancy after a successful IVF. My advice will be to put a cap on the month of the year and jf there is no success with natural pregnancy then you can go ahead with rhe transfer. I had my first ever IVF at 38 and it was successful and I went ahead and had 2 natural pregnancies at age 39 and birthday at exactly 49 years. The third pregnancy was at age 41 and had the baby immediately I turned 42. So it's possible, you are still young. I wish you all the best. xx

[ButtercupGarden]

I'm currently in the same dilemma. We have a little girl born Jan 23 after a FET (our second try). We were planning to go for a FET this November but then I miraculously and very unexpectedly got pregnant naturally in September. Sadly that ended after a few weeks, so now we are back to square one. I'm not sure I can face the hope and grief cycle of trying naturally for any length of time so I plan to book back in for the FET again in the new year. It's all very confusing! I wish you the best!

[Ltry in reply to ButtercupGarden]

Ah hi! Think we were going through very similar challenges at a similar time with our first pregnancies. So sorry to hear about your loss. I am so terrified of another one. Sounds like you're having similar feelings to me. I think we'll set a time limit but I think I'll have to keep it under review as the whole hope/grief every month will really get to me.