Is my GP right?

[Littlepeax]

After a failed fresh transfer and a failed FET (ended in chemical pregnancy) I went to see my GP to see if she could offer any support/advice. I was really disappointed and disheartened when she told me to start thinking about adoption 😔 am I indenial as I think I still have a shot? I've only had two goes and one ended in chemical so isnt there a chance still? I am 32 with severe endometriosis. My AMH is 12.9 but we managed to get 4 embryos in total. I have one left which isnt the best quality so hoping to do another cycle soon. Feeling a bit low after seeing my Dr when I was trying my best to be positive ♥️💫

[Solly-44]

Oh lovely, I can imagine that would be tough to hear 🙁

My third transfer was my first BFP and so far so good. It can definitely happen after 2 go’s and as others stories on here show it frequently does. I think that GP’s while I’m sure she meant well, can have very little knowledge of ivf. I’d try to put it out of my mind and focus on your next round. Wishing you all the luck xx

[Littlepeax in reply to Solly-44]

Thank you so much Solly ♥️

[KiboXX]

I’m sorry your GP was so insensitive. I’m not a doctor (obviously 😂) but I don’t think you’re in denial by saying you still have a shot! I find GPs extremely ignorant on IVF in general because they don’t really know a lot about it. I think the fact you had a chemical shows you can fall pregnant which is really promising.

I’m 34, my AMH is lower (9) and it might have taken me 4 goes but I’m pregnant so I don’t see why that can’t happen for you as well.

Don’t give up fighting for your dream xxxx

[Littlepeax in reply to KiboXX]

Thank you so much Kibo ♥️ yeah to be fair she didnt even know what a chemical pregnancy was 🙈😑 little knowledge about it all x

[saraht23]

So sorry, this doesn’t sound like it’s been a positive experience for you at all.

I think ultimately the only person who can make that decision about what to do next is you.

Unfortunately GPs are general practitioners, and don’t have the depth of knowledge to fully understand the process of IVF and the emotional strain. I can’t even begin to count up the number of times I’ve been on the receiving end of comments like that from people of all walks of life, just because your GP is a medical practitioner, it unfortunately doesn’t change the fact they can still be ignorant of the process and not understand. One of my friends is a GP and I know our IVF process has been a huge learning curve for him and has given him a lot of opportunity to learn and reflect.

My advice would be to speak to your clinic for a more specialist opinion on best next steps, or maybe see if they can suggest a counsellor with a special interest in fertility issues to help you through some difficult feelings and emotions.

Most importantly look after yourself, I’m sure you’re doing a great job, and don’t forget there’s a whole community of us here if you need someone to talk to xx

[Littlepeax in reply to saraht23]

Thank you so much Sarah ♥️ you guys are so kind and amazing x

[Coral86]

Hope ur ok I wouldn’t listen to the gp !! Nobody knows your body !! And they don’t know much to do with ivf so don’t give up hope I’m starting my third go April fet always hope xxx

[Littlepeax in reply to Coral86]

Thank you so much Coral ♥️

[ttcemmie]

Hi sweetie. Sorry to hear about your GP. IVF is a game of chance and there's a chance for you. With IVF it's just how much you want and can do, and it's a completely personal decision. YOUR personal decision, not your GP's, so I wouldn't worry about their take on it unless they are a fertility specialist! Then I would give them some credence, but still your decision.

[Littlepeax in reply to ttcemmie]

Thanks so much ttcemmie ♥️

[Libsie3103]

So sorry to hear this - it's a tough enough journey without support and encouragement from professionals. From my experience most GPs have little understanding of the complexity of IVF. Have you spoken to your IVF Consultant and asked them for their opinion? In my experience I have found them to be much more supportive and knowledgable. I've asked them some very direct questions at times so I know where I stand and have clarity on the situation. There are lots of lovely people on this site who may not be medical but have a wealth of experience and are happy to help you where they can. Take care Hun xx

[Littlepeax in reply to Libsie3103]

Thanks so much Libsie ♥️

[Keepingfaith85]

What ridiculous advice from your GP! So sorry Littlepeax. I think you have brilliant chances (multiple chances!) to get pregnant. Lots of people with endometriosis go on to have success with ivf who are a lot older than you, you hear it all the time so what GP said makes no sense at all.

You were so close last time... it will happen for you xxxx

[Littlepeax in reply to Keepingfaith85]

Thanks so much Keepingfaith ♥️ hope you're feeling good x

[Cinderella5]

I htink this is really harsh! To be honest its all a bit of a lottery/numbers game....the more tries you have then the more likely it is to work. It is true that some ladies wont get their much wanted baby but until you decide enough is enough then keep going....you just never know when your luck will change!!xx

[Littlepeax in reply to Cinderella5]

Thanks so much Cinderella ♥️ hope you're ok x

[franathy]

What a stupid thing to say! Some GPs can be so ignorant, don't take any notice. Even NICE fertility guidelines say 3 full cycles should be given and that's on the NHS! The fact that you got a BFP on your second go makes it even more ridiculous, I'm no expert but I'd say your chances are really good. I'm sure when you talk to your clinic they will be much more positive xx

[Littlepeax in reply to franathy]

Thanks so much ♥️ franathy

[L400ynd]

I think your Dr has gone about this the wrong way. I think she is maybe trying to give you a plan B before it’s been determined that plan A isn’t going to work.

I don’t think she’s done it deliberately. She maybe thinks she is offering you new hope of a family just in another way.

Good luck and lots of love. Xxx

[Littlepeax in reply to L400ynd]

Thanks so much ♥️

[Bubunoto]

Hey, Littlepeax please don't listen to them. They got no clue what IVF is. I went to my GP to ask for a referral for counseling and he told me it usually works from the 3rd time which was completely unnecessary statement especially when I'm there looking for counseling!!! and he wasn't exactly sure what "transfer" meant which showed me he knew nothing about the whole process. So please relax and keep doing what you are doing. I have heard many stories of women who have been told they were not able to get pregnant who are now having kids. Prayers for you!!! I am sorry for the failed FET.

[Littlepeax in reply to Bubunoto]

Thank you so much ♥️ and yes mine wasnt sure what chemical pregnancy was. Your right thank you xxx

[recidwen]

Gahhhhhh. This is so frustrating. NICE recommends at least three rounds for couples and it can take so many more. Your amh is good, you are producing embryos, you even had implantation with that chemical. Her advice is totally unfounded and I'd probably get a new GP. Only you know how far you want to take this and some people don't get their baby till their 8th transfer! I am 30, also with endo, no fallopian tubes, amh 15.5 and I am about to have my fifth transfer and by no means am I ready to give up and don't give any thought to it not working eventually for me. ALSO, this 'just adopt' narrative does my head in. It isn't the same path and it isn't actually that easy either. I'd erase that negativity from my brain immediately. GO FORTH AND HAVE A GAZILLION BABIES. xxxxx

[Littlepeax in reply to recidwen]

Haha yes you're 100% right thank you so much recidwen ♥️ really hope it goes well for you too x

[recidwen in reply to Littlepeax]

More than welcome babes. xxxx

[Littlepeax]

THANK YOU all so much for your amazing, positive, kind replies. I always feel so much better speaking with you guys 🥰 onwards and upwards xxx

[Hidden]

First of so sorry for your chemical pregnancy secondly can’t believe how insensitive your GP was. Your AMH is much better than mine- mine was 4 at 32 & that was 5 years ago but I still managed to have a successful pregnancy. I know my family were surprised we kept trying & some would say are we not done with it but we believed in our heart we would have a baby & that our baby was worth fighting for- it took over 7 years of TTC 4 surgeries ( 3 to treat endo) 1 chemical pregnancy but we ended up with our daughter who is now 8 monthS old. I don’t regret fighting so hard for her she was worth it. Only you know if you’ve had enough. That’s a personal choice. I don’t think you are in any denial but a person fighting a tough battle. The fact you conceived is positive ( I know it doesn’t feel it but it’s progress) I hope the next time is your perfect baby. Ignore the GP & focus on your journey. Big hugs xxx

[Littlepeax in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so much Jess1981 really appreciate it ♥️💫 I'm going to keep going, not ready to give up yet 🙂 so nice to hear your positive story xxx

[Purplewitch18]

Ignore your gp, what a load of nonsense! Of course you still have a chance at this. Theres nothing wrong about looking at adoption if thats what you are ready to do, but youve only had 2 goes and think its really unfair to tell you to give up already x

[Littlepeax in reply to Purplewitch18]

Thanks so much purplewitch ♥️💫 I'm going to keep going 🙂

[Purplewitch18 in reply to Littlepeax]

Good on you Littlepeax xx

[FrancyItaly]

Adoption?! You are only 32, of course you still have chances! Personally I hate going to gp, they are usually so useless. On more than one occasion they researched my symptoms online and said ‘it might be this, it might be that’. Something I could have done myself at home. They told me too I would not conceive in a very long time and 3 months later I was pregnant without medication and anything! I can understand you feel low because that’s the way I felt too, but please don’t pay too much attention to those words. You are young and still have multiple chances to get pregnant.

[Littlepeax in reply to FrancyItaly]

Thank you so much FrancyItaly for ♥️💫 what a positive story. You are right xxx

[Char1302]

Hi Littlepeax, I was 29 when I started my ivf journey and had a ridiculous AMH of 6! I only ended up getting 4 viable eggs in collection and out of those 4 only 2 fertilised but both had fragmentation and weren’t developed like they should so I ended up having a 3 day transfer with the best of the two and I’m currently sat here cuddling her now 😃 please don’t give up as you’ve got pregnant before and it will happen again 💕

[Littlepeax in reply to Char1302]

How lovely thank you so much Char ♥️💫 such a positive message 🥰

[Char1302 in reply to Littlepeax]

It really does only take the one! My one that worked was a good to average grade as well xxx

[Lynnr54]

How unsupportive of your doctor! Sorry she’s made you feel like this. I would say you definitely still have a shot. Age is on your side and yes, you have challenges but it is definitely possible to conceive with severe endo. Several ladies on here have done and I have a friend who has done. I don’t know if you’ve thought about it before or where you are in your endo management but I know some ladies have found it easier to conceive after having surgery to remove some of the endo. It’s worth looking into if you haven’t previously so you know what your options are. Good luck with it all x

[Littlepeax in reply to Lynnr54]

Thanks so much for your kind message. Yes I've had two surgeries for endo one mainly for pain and the other to help try and conceive. Although my surgeon said I had a good chance it hasn't happened. But I will carry on ♥️💫

[RhinoCat]

I’m glad your gp isn’t mine 🤣 I’m 38, with 6.8 amh and was told I still had a chance of a baby? Yours would have sent for the shot gun and put me down ! 🤣

Sometimes gPs aren’t fully knowing and just answer based on what’s there... I.e fail, fail .

I’d say there’s prob a good few thousand of us on this wall who know that it takes on average 3 goes and then , this number is not realistic because we ALL know that every drug stimulates differently , every woman has their own set of variables ( age, endo, cysts, polyps, blocked pipes, missing bits, extra bits, wonky sperm , lazy sperm , etc etc )

Take it with a pinch of salt. From what I see, the ivf journey ends when we give up. For some it’s one round, others it’s round 19.

Thank goodness you are on the journey with us and not her! 💖🙏🏻💐💐💐

If there is hope, keep going 😘💐💐💐

Hugs in the hope you can erase that negative crap from your brain 🧠

You ARE on this journey .

You decide how long the road is before you take a left 😘

Stuff her 😂😛😋🤪

Hugs

Rhinocat x 💐

[Littlepeax in reply to RhinoCat]

Thanks so much Rhinocat ♥️💫

[Hidden]

I am sorry to hear that. I certainly would not be taking that information as granted by my GP. Have you not seen your fetility specialist? I would make an appointment with your fertility specialist and see what the potential future treatment there is. I know on the NHS you only get so many free attempts before having to go private.

I know my fertility clinic on the NHS offer counseling regardless of the outcome of treatment, maybe yours will do something similar.

You still have one embryo so all is not lost just yet. 🤞🌈 Xx

[Littlepeax in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so much for your kind message Emma-rose ♥️💫 yes I have an appt with my consultant on the 6th March and I'm feeling much more positive now thanks to you guys 😊🙏 yes I will be paying privately now xx

[Hidden in reply to Littlepeax]

I'm glad you feel better. I am 💯 certain that you will have access to a counselling service as undergoing IVF is massively emotional and mentally challenging time. It was devised before i begun my journey to speak to them. Ask when you go.

I hope all goes well and good luck in your journey xx

[Littlepeax in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Emma-rose. Just read your in your two week wait how exciting 🥰 huge good luck to you! X

[Hidden in reply to Littlepeax]

Yes I am, it's my second cycle of treatment were hoping this time is our time, fingers crossed. Thank you. 🤞🙏🌈 Xx

[Mara84]

My god I’m so sorry you had such bad experience, Can’t believe how insensitive some people can be! You are young.

Ask the clinic to review your last cycle, or maybe need to do something about endometriosis, I’m not sure.

Also remember there are so many couples going through what you are facing now, you are not alone and Do Not Give Up ❤️

[Littlepeax in reply to Mara84]

Thank you so much Mara ♥️💫 I honestly feel so much better after talking and discussing with all of you guys. I have an appt in 2 weeks with my consultant and I'm looking forward to it now 😊🙏

[Mara84 in reply to Littlepeax]

Wonderful ❤️ Keep us posted lovely xx

[TTCWithCHSweetheart]

So many people have to go through several cycles to achieve their dream. Don’t give up hope ever!

It’s up to you to decide when is best and it’s better to discuss this with a fertility expert as my experience is that GPs are just not knowledgable enough in that area. They are great at what they do, but this isn’t their area of expertise!

If you can handle another cycle then go for it, and good luck! Xx

[Littlepeax in reply to TTCWithCHSweetheart]

Thank you ♥️💫 yes you are right xxx