Feeling a bit blue :-(

[hifer]

I don't really have a specific problem or question but just feeling quite down today! We were at the stage of progressing to our first round of IVF when my fiancee's best friend from work unexpectedly passed away just over a week ago. He is obviously devastated and has also had to bear quite a bit of the brunt of responsibility with the police and the coroner and all his friends etc as the friend did not have any family in this country. It has been incredibly stressful for him and we still have to get over the funeral before he can even think of moving on. I feel awful for being selfish and thinking about us and IVF etc but I can't help it. Also as we have not really spoken about it in a while (I don't want to burden him with my thoughts /worries at the mo) so I feel like the worry is kind of bottling up inside me!

I'm assuming there will be lots of women on here who have benefited from fertility counselling? Thanks all and sorry for the whinge!

x

[Hidden]

Hi hifer! Life is hard. It constantly throws up things that will try to knock you off course. Do not be deterred. I think you're doing exactly the right thing. No need to stress the situation out any more. I think we all overlook the impact of IVF on our partners at one time or another. Take your time and get all your ducks in a row first. You'll feel better about everything when you get started. Good luck!

[hifer in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. Yes often the thought of something is worse than just doing it! Just keen to get going! x

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi hifer. Don't feel selfish about your IVF. It is all consuming when you are about to go through, and in the middle of, without such a devastating blow to have happened. Obviously you could seek some bereavement counselling through the Funeral Director or your GP, or there is always the "British Infertility Counselling Association" bica.net who deal solely with fertility problems and relationships around them. It is a charity, but there is a charge, but worth looking into. Oh I do hope you find the support for both of you soon and I wish you every bit of luck when you do start your IVF. Thinking of you. Diane

[hifer in reply to DianeArnold]

Thank you so much for your input Diane. I actually contacted Petals today in the hope of getting some counselling. I had a miscarriage at around 7 weeks in Oct. However I will bear bica in mind for sure. x

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK in reply to hifer]

Hi hifer. That's good to hear and I do hope they can help. So sorry about the loss of your little one, then this so soon afterwards. Keep strong for each other. I shall be thinking of you. Diane

[hifer in reply to DianeArnold]

Thank you. I am certainly trying to keep strong for him. Think I might just need a bit of support too x

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK in reply to hifer]

Indeed you do, so I hope the counselling helps. Diane xx