Feeling emotional after failed IVF

[Mlove12]

So all of us on here know full well IVF process is an emotional rollercoaster.

When I was completing stims, I was surprisingly fine, no mood swings, quite happy, my partner was surprised to say the least!

However it’s a month on from failed IVF, and I feel so emotional and really low in mood. Not because it’s failed (I am obviously sad about that but I’ve allowed myself the time to process it) but I just feel completely fed up with life at the moment, I’ve also had spotting when I’m meant to be ovulating and never had that so I wasn’t sure if I was feeling this way purely due to hormones being all over the place.

To be honest, I’m just not a fun person to be around right now and I really don’t know why I feel this way. I feel I’m miserable and my poor partner must be sick of it.

Has anyone else had this after failed transfer? Mood swings, fed up, low mood etc?

Hope your all well x

[Hidden]

I am sorry about your failed round, and for how you feel. I wanted to reassure you I think its completely normal. After my failed rounds I always became quite introverted and a bit 'whats the point' about everything, I couldn't shake it. I think its a kind of grief for the lost hope. Like you I thought I was fine and reconciled with it all but the reality was the only time I felt positive was when I was actually in the midst of an IVF round as I felt like I was doing something positive.. it just felt like time wasted and all a bit hopeless at all other times. I am sure its a combination of hormones, grief etc (I once had a call with a therapist who I told I wasn't grieving at all and then she took me through all the emotions involved and it became abundantly clear I thought I was fine and was reconciled with things but the reality was I wasn't!).

Have you had your review appointment? I found I was a bit better after that as it gave me some positives to focus on x

[Mlove12 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Daisy,

I think you’ve hit the nail on the head when you mentioned that the only time you were happy was during the process of IVF, as I’ve noticed I just dont feel happy until im proactively doing something, stims, tests etc.

i do have a therapy appointment with my partner next week so hoping this will allow me to have a vent too about how I’m feeling!

I didnt get offered a review meeting. Mine is NHS funded but at a private clinic so maybe this is why? I do have my next consultation for next round this week.

Thank you for replying, I hope you are well x

[Boo718]

oh my goodness absolutely. I actually went to speak to a councillor because I was absolutely miserable. I was soo irritable and just no fun to be around. I’m surprised my poor hubby didn’t run a mile. It was actually grief. Grieving for what could have been. I honestly felt sooo much better once I had spoken to her. I hope your ok xxx

[Mlove12 in reply to Boo718]

Hi Boo,

I feel super miserable, and sorry to say it- but glad I’m not the only one!🤣 Yes very true im sure it is grief. I’ve also had other issues going on in just general life so think it’s all adding up. Me and my partner have ivf counselling next week so hoping this will help.

Thank you for replying lovely, hope your well x

[Kitkat10]

Yes I felt the same and pushed away all my friends because I couldn’t cope with any external stresses. I felt consumed by the whole thing and it drained all my energy. I think it’s totally normal to feel a bit low. Try and look after yourself, put yourself first and focus on doing things you enjoy between cycles x

[Mlove12 in reply to Kitkat10]

sorry to hear you felt this way too.

I feel myself to the exact same, pushing my partner away in particular. We had a lot of struggles earlier this year within the relationship (think it was stress related, work and ivf) but feel this creeping back in again and I just don’t know how to shift it.

I hope your feeling better now and thanks for replying x