I was diagnosed with blocked tubes following a laparoscopy and HSG last Friday. I’m still sore from the op but worse than this, I’ve spiralled into a depression and if it wasn’t for my 15 year old daughter, I wouldn’t care if I never woke up again. My partner is less than understanding, I’ve told him to go and find himself a younger woman who isn’t a complete failure of a woman like I am but he just sees this as me attacking him; it’s not, I truly want him to experience the joy of his own newborn baby and I feel wretched that I can’t give him this.
Has anybody been in a similar situation with their tubes and are there any success stories? Feel as though my whole purpose on earth is ended at the age of 39
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Lizbot79
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I'm not gonna bore you with my story again I did in the other forum. But I really need you to know you are not a failure hun far from it, these things happen beyond our control and it is truly devastating I remember how I felt when they told me although I was expecting the endo part the tubes knocked me for six and the fact they told me I'd never have another child unless through ivf scared me 💩less, I told my other half to leave me too because of sex being to painful and my moods etc but he just became more supportive and researched my situtuon to understand more. Let the news sink in you've got another appointment in a few weeks haven't you? Speak with them see what your options are hun. Please don't feel like a failure hun you really are not one. Your extremely upset hun and you have every right to be lovely. It's almost a grieving process take one day at a time and take all the support u can.
Thank you. It is a grieving process, it’s been 4 years now and I’ve imagined all different scenarios with our little one, how he would look etc and now it seems that he is never going to exist 😢 so I am ridiculously Bereft for somebody who never existed in the first place
Aww gosh. Please please don't feel like a failure because you are not. I know it's devastating and hard to think beyond this point but hopefully in time you will be able to look forward.
Myself and DH have been ttc for 5 years. I had my tubes clipped in May as they were badly damaged and I cannot have children without IVF. I'm 34, I have also felt like a failure in the past but came to realise that I am where I am and I needed to come to terms with it and do all I can to try and be positive and look to having a family through IVF.
Oh hun on the bad days this is completely me! You are not the only one honestly.
We didn’t know we had fertility issues u til after we were married and I constantly told him he could leave me as this wasn’t what he signed in for, and that he should find someone who could make him a dad and give him what I couldn’t. Even now 2 and a bit yrs later I still occasionally say it- you get to a point where your so emotional with it all.
I too was told I had blocked tubes via a laparoscopy where they also discovered endometriosis. 1 tube they managed to unblock the other is still non functioning but so far it still hasn’t helped and that was in February.
Try and keep your chin up - you are not a failure xxx
I’m in the same situation, my tubes weren’t completely blocked but they were twisted up and this means there is no chance I can conceive naturally. I have endometriosis in them too which doesn’t help. I’ve gone through the same emotions as you, and I felt completely worthless and that I’d let everyone down.
I’m about to have a round of IVM and I really pray this works. I’m aware that it might not which terrifies me. I just want to say, it’s not the end of the road. If you can afford IVF or IVM, do it if this is really what you want xx
In vitro maturation, ivf without the injections basically. If you have a normal egg reserve and they’re ok quality it can be very successful, it gives me some hope anyway xx
Hi Lizbot, I'm so sorry your going through this. Give you self time to be sad, and be kind to yourself. Imagine how kind you would be to a friend if they were in this situation and do it to yourself.
When i went through the road of thinking I'm a failure as a woman, i got stuck and a friend took a firm stand against this which really helped me. So feel free to ignore this if not helpful, and i don't mean to offend you or anyone else as we all differ ! She basically kindly argued i was doing myself a disservice as a woman, that the role of a woman is beyond that of child bearing and i am more than this, i am a whole person even if i feel like an incomplete failed woman. She also said look at other women who choose to not or can't have children - are they incomplete failures of womanhood , no... It was firm and honest word that shook me out of that mindset.
Take care of yourself and don't rush your recovery x
Just to say, it’s not unusual to feel depressed after an operation- I felt really down after my lap and I didn’t even get the bad news you got after mine. The drugs they give you have an effect and I also felt pretty sore and poorly for quite a few days afterwards. I’m usually pretty upbeat but my mood was very low afterwards. I coped by inviting lots of friends round to keep me company whilst I was housebound.
In terms of your diagnosis, I’m so sorry. It’s rubbish. But don’t try to make assumptions about how your partner is feeling. I was guilty of doing this when we thought our infertility was due to me. He told me it was “our” problem and we would face it together. I felt guilty and tried to take it all on myself. I assumed he would be better off without me etc. We later found out that actually it was a fertility problem on his side, and I discovered that he was right, it is a shared problem and there’s no room for blame or guilt. And I definitely wouldn’t be better off without him!
I do recommend counselling if you can access it- I saw a psychotherapist and it really helped me.
You tubes can get unblocked. My friends where blocked and she has been able to conceive. Faith, she done a steam for months to clean out upstairs. And it seemed to work. Positive thinking. X
Hi. I found out in october last year that both my tubes were blocked following a lap and dye, i was told our only way of concieving was via IVF, we were refered to the clinic we choose and a year on after one round of IVF i am 6 weeks pregnant! Don’t give up hope xxx
Oh honey, don’t dispair, IVF was designed especially for people in your position to bypass the Fallopian tubes! Yay, for IVF!
It’s ok to be sad, let yourself grieve. It is a grieving process but at some point you need to prepare yourself for the next steps!
Once you are ready! Then the next steps are to find out if you are entitled to NHS funding? Get your AMH tested. Has your partners sperm been analysed?
So many of us on here have been on this journey and will be here to support you. But you must remain positive and get yourself in the best shape emotionally & mentally, this includes your partner too. It can be tough on men as they are not talkers. My husband wants to be a dad more than anything, and I’ll make that happen even if I have to use someone else’s eggs!
When you are ready there are a few useful resources I can point you in the direction off but for now be sad, pamper yourself and when you are ready write down your kickass plan and put it into action! Hugs to you my lovely Xx
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Blocked tubes due to scar tissue
HSG blocked tubes but no laparoscopy to confirm.
