My best friend just told me she’s pregnant....

[Faithful06]

Yesterday was day 3 of Buserelin injections and I will have to say Buserelin is effecting me totally different this time around than last time. The side effects have come on pretty early which I hate!!

My hubby and I have been TTCing for our 1st since 1997. Yesterday my best friend told me she was pregnant. Initially I had no emotion. I said the congratulations and I am totally pleased for her but later on in a group chat our other friend was talking about getting a dog. She made the off comment of oh when I go on holiday can you take care of the dog (me) and then she told my other friend you can’t keep the dog because you’ll have a baby by then. That little comment set me off in a wave of tears. I cried myself to sleep last night and still quite tearful this morning. I know or I hope my friend didn’t make the comment maliciously but all my friends have children so they can’t relate to the way I feel.

I’m supposed to go out to dinner tonight with them but I just want to wallow and stay in bed. It’s been quite bad that I almost called in sick for work today but pushed myself to come in so I won’t have to think about it....or so I hope.

After 12yrs you would think I’d be used to this by now but sometimes it just catches me off guard and I crumble. I think it might be the Buserelin or it could just be how I’m feeling I don’t know.

Can anyone else relate or am I just being way to sensitive?

[Hidden]

My goodness, no way are you being over sensitive. 12 years, you are a warrior!! To want something so much and to repeatedly not get it is emotionally exhausting. It’s cumulative with every year and every little reminder, a little stab. I’m so sorry that it’s those close to you who now adding to that, of course unintentionally but it still hurts. I haven’t been able to see my sister in law since her pregnancy announcement a few days after a loss for me. Don’t feel great about it but it’s kept me more sane. Having time for you is very important, you have to save your strength for your treatment. Sending lots of love and you best friend will understand xxx

[Cinderella5]

No I dont think you are being over sensitive at all! Its small comments like this that catch us out when we least expect it. Im glad that you have managed to find the strength to come into work, I always think it takes your mind off it. Totally understand you not wanting to go to dinner. On one hand it may feel better to get out but if there is a new pregnancy on the scene then it might not be the best time. Ive had a couple of invites out this weekend (inc from my best friend) and cant face them as Im coming up to test day and Im sure its failed so just need to be on my own. Just do what's right for you! Oh and you're right the drugs really dont help, they make you even more tired and emotional than usual! Sending hugs.xx

[Hidden]

I would do something for yourself tonight instead of forcing yourself to go out for dinner.

Maybe just chill and watch a nice movie?

Xxx

[Nicolefingerscrossed]

I know exactly how you feel, the smallest comments sometimes induce what feels like a tidal wave of sadness. Maybe skip this meal and do something nice with your other half, sometimes you just need some time to yourself and that ok. ((((Hugs)))) xx

[kirstyblue]

Oh no I think it’s understandable why your feeling like are you. You are incredible that you have kept on going! I understand why you don’t want to go tonight but I think once you see your friends you will feel better about it. I had the same situation last year when a close friend of mine fell pregnant. Xx

[Shil11]

12 yrs!! You are a very strong person! Don’t let other make you feel crapy!! It’s life and we all have it hard so we completely understand your pain!! Go out chill!! Ignore the insensitive comments!! Big hug!

[Faithful06]

Thanks guys for your wonderful responses. Luckily the friend that’s pregnant has pulled out of tonight.

We are on our last IVF cycle. If this doesn’t work then I’ll have to move on. It’s so soul destroying but I try. I’m 40 now and my body and head are quite tired of being hopeful and failing.

[Hidden]

You can be glad for them but sad for your own situation.

[AJJ123]

I know how u feel, it sets u back doesn’t it. It usually happens when u think your doing really well coping ok and feeling optimistic. Then bam! Someone else is pregnant. They don’t understand the hell we go through and when you keep your distance because your saving yourself from heartbreak they have the nerve to be funny with you when u try an make an effort once the dust settles. Well, that’s my experience anyway - I’m doing well emotionally just taking things a step at a time. Every person, family or friend in my life has announced a pregnancy, there’s no one left apart from my mum/nanny (ha) so I’m numb to it. I just have to prep for round 2 of announcements xx

[marie2018]

I've just had a similar experience with one of my best friends. It's really hard to deal with but I think people just genuinely don't understand how it feels to be in our position unless they've been through it themselves. I don't think it's a case of you (or me!) being sensitive but maybe people close to us being a little insensitive - especially when they're aware of what's going on. I'm really happy for my friend but I won't be in a rush to spend time with her - that might be petty but I think we just have to do whatever it takes to get through. Do whatever is right for you xx

[Faithful06 in reply to marie2018]

Yes I agree. She keeps talking to me about morning sickness etc and at the moment I’m numb to it and can talk about it but being on these meds not sure if at some point I’ll go the other way.

[Hidden]

I'm totally with you. My sister is pregnant and already has 2 kids. I keep getting comments like. 'This things doing cartwheels' 'it feels like bubbles' 'aww I'm so tired' I'm literally like mrs browns boys ... 'that's nice' 🤣 Xxx