Pregnant best friend

[Hands2015]

Hey all

I feel like all I do is moan on here but my best friend is pregnant and it's so hard

She is aware of our difficulties and I can tell she is being sensitive around me with it which I appreciate from her in ways I could never tell her which Makes me feel even more like a super meany for basically sulking

I havnt seen her since she told me and I really can't get out of a meal on Friday with my friends at her house - I tried to make it a public meal out but for whatever reasons it's going to be at hers

I just can't help feel like I don't want to see her because I feel sick looking at her which is suupppper selfish I know but she only tried for a month and got pregnant straight away

Any tips ?

[E_05]

I feel like I could of written this post, my friend is pregnant with her 2nd baby and she was really considerate this time in how she told me but I can’t face seeing her bump. I don’t think your being selfish, I think we just get to a point where we need to protect ourselves and I’m beginning to accept that’s okay.

Could you go to the meal but if your really finding it tough make an excuse to leave? Xx

[Star9]

Please don’t feel like your alone in feeling like this. I spent years thinking I was a horrible person, until I joined this site and realised it’s actually normal.

I have been in this situation several times and find the fear of seeing them is worse than actually going and seeing them. You just find an inner strength to plaster a smile on your face. Though on the side don’t put yourself under any pressure to go either. Do what’s best for you, your friend will understand xxxx

[Hidden]

You have a really good friend. Most people around me don't care less about being sensitive around me. I would just be completely honest with her. I am sure she will understand. I had a panic attack last year after bumping into a heavily pregnant family member.

If you fel like you can go then it's best to go and get it over with but on te othe rhand you don;t want to go and then lose it, especially in front of others. Do what is right for you, be kind to yourself and forgive yourself xx

[Kari55]

It is so difficult to have pregnant friends around. I hope you and your friend are close enough to be very honest about it. It sounds like she is trying to be sensitive so I would imagine she realises how hard this is for you and I think this situation isn’t easy for her too.

I can reassure you that I feel the same way as you do about pregnant friends, colleagues etc. Unfortunately, my friends have never been too sensitive and some were even openly revelling in it completely ignoring the fact that I’ve been trying for a while. One of them still has got a cheek to moan about her child and his sleeping patterns. I personally find this social aspect of infertility the most challenging.

If you find Friday meal too hard, then find an excuse and meet up with her only, another time. On the other hand, having different people around might be helpful and conversations might be not only about pregnancies and babies.

Sending hugs x

[Hands2015]

Thank you all for your replies it's was very helpful x x

[Ebony1980]

I know exactly how you feel. I have a colleague who is 12 weeks from her due date. When she text me to let me know she was preggers, I burst into tears. My partner said I should be happy for her which of course I am but that made me feel soo guilty. She had a terrible time (multiple miscarriages) but the timing sucked. In fact, the day she showed me the pic of her ultrasound was the same day I was told by the NHS consultant that it would next to impossible for me to get pregnant and to seek immediate IVF treatment privately. I think at first she was trying to be discreet but as the excitement builds in the office that has gone out the window. I'm dreading if there is a baby shower.

I don't know what to advise you but I just wanted you to know your not alone.

[emu2016]

Goodness. I remember the first time I was told we had less than 2% chance of conceivig with our own eggs... both my BFF’s fell pregnant! One with clomid and one with IVF. Then one sadly miscarried at 7 weeks. And I’d never wish that on anyone.

It’s so hard; my pregnant ivf friend is pregnant again naturally now. We talk a lot about how hard it is for both of us. She struggles because she wants her bff by her side drinking coffee and eating cake on week days.

I don’t think it gets any easier hon. Just gets easier to live with. Xx