never wanted kids. decided to just try. pregnant within a month. standard.
obviously i am happy for her, but i can’t get my head around how easy it seems to be for everyone. i want to feel positive ahead of our third attempt in a couple of weeks, but i’ve never been pregnant and keep re-living our last two failed rounds.
i feel defeated already.
it's just unfair I know...try if you can to focus on you two and only you two...always difficult just before a cycle. I was so deflated prior to this one...once you get going you will find your hope again...you are an amazing and strong woman..try to remember that...loads of love and virtual hugs your way 💜💜💜xxxxx
Noodles I am with you on this one. My brother and sister in law didn’t know if they really wanted kids, happy enough with their lifestyle but thought they’d give it a lash. Bingo, pregnant within months of trying. Announced they were expecting twins right at the start of our last cycle. For us, Six years of TTC, 4 failed IVF, 1 failed DE cycle. Never been pregnant. What’s that all about universe? Just wish we could catch a break sometimes. I had an angry day yesterday, was overcome by the total unfairness of it all. Sending you such a big hug and so much luck for your upcoming 3rd round 😘xx
Ah it’s just so unfair! My friends just announced her 2nd pregnancy and said she didn’t think it’d happen so quickly 🤦♀️ I hope you find your strength in time and wishing you so much luck for cycle number 3 xx
why even tell you that?! as if you need to know! thank you so much for your kind wishes. sending love & positive vibes your way ✨💕✨
thanks so much for your replies girls, i don’t know where i’d be without this forum. it’s such a lonely journey - i totally rely on the support of you special people that i will probably never meet!
It does seem so unfair. Give yourself some time to get your head around it. If you need your space so you can feel as positive as possible for your cycle then take it. Prioritise yourself my dear. Sending you a big hug! x
This happened with my sister and she decided to pull out a pregnancy test in the middle of a bridal shop whilst I was stood there with a wedding dress on. Couldn’t make it up. At the time we had been trying for over 2 years xx
Omg if she knew u we’re trying that sucks. Should have been about you xx
I know exactly how you feel! It’s so frustrating and unfair xx
Awwww my lovely! I really feel for you.... one of my friends didn't want kids either (I won't tell you get words about having kids) recently had twins. Just feels like an absolute P!ss take to be honest!
I know it's hard, jeezo I know but please just focus on yourselves and your treatment. This is your time so forget about everyone else!!xxx
awwww thank you - you’re right, we need to focus on this x
Unless you’v been through it, you can’t explain how heartbreaking it feels.
My mum told me my sister was pregnant (her first month of trying) the first day I started injecting for IVF round 1! Great timing 🙈
We are just about to start round 3 and even though she knows, my sister regularly send me pictures of her baby... I never ask for them. Some people just don’t get it. X
It's so hard to deal with announcements particularly when they're close to you and when it's so easy. My friend fell pregnant with a 'slip up' one month....The same friend asked me this week if the clinic had 'done the mixing in a dish yet'. It didn't bother me initially until I had a meltdown at my partner that evening (because I'm due on!) and said "...and I don't want our baby to be mixed in a dish. Why can't we just be normal?!' Poor guy really got an earbashing.
It's so difficult but try not to let it eat away at your positivity. That's so important right now (I should take my own advice). Is she being sensitive about your feelings at least? Can you distance yourself until you are feeling stronger? Xx
i can’t believe your friend said that, bloody hell. but as sharpy said, unless someone has lived this, they have no idea of the pain.
my friend is being really sensitive, but that almost makes it harder, i feel like that weirdo everyone has to tiptoe around.
WE JUST WANT WHAT EVERYONE ELSE HAS!!
She wouldn't have meant to be rude but it's wuite insensitive when you think about it, but it is just ignorance, sadly.
You're definitely not a weirdo. Hope you're having a better day today x
I feel your pain. I think we've all had people close to us getting pregnant within a month of trying, people who have never been maternal, people who moan constantly about their children, or people who smother you in their love and tales about their children....then I work with babies and children and do babysitting in the evenings. Always have done. It's all so unfair! But when we do become mothers it will be a very long hard special journey that will make us so grateful for having the honour of having children and our children will grow up knowing the time, pain, emotion, money, stress, determination and fight that we had in us to bring them into this world and they'll learn that they are very loved and are extra special children xxx
that’s a really lovely way of putting it scarlett - we will all appreciate motherhood so much more when we eventually get there.
we will have to start a new forum, the non-smug, non-moany appreciative parents network! 🤣
Today...well yesterday now was my birthday. I got a message from my step sister saying...here is the best present ever....happy birthday!!!!! I knew exactly what was coming next...... A picture of her pregnancy test confirming she is expecting. They started trying naturally after xmas, as planned, following their wedding in August. I sat on my stairs and sobbed. Of course I am happy for her but with my test day approaching on Wednesday, like you I felt completely deflated. Sending love xxx
Happy birthday!!!! And that was such a mean thing to do if she knows you're currently having ivf? Hope it didn't ruin your birthday x
Thanks again Scarlett. Unfortunately that side have no tact or compassion. Over the years I've learnt to deal with that though. Think will hit me more Wednesday if I see a negative xxx
you have got to be kidding? does she know your struggles? why on earth is that the best present for you? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!
i am with you all the way until wednesday, i hope more than anything this is your time. try to stay chilled & relaxed. sending love & positive vibes ✨💕✨
(oh and i aside from your step sister’s annoucement, i hope you had a happy birthday)
Thank you Noodles. Was quieter than usual but equally as nice.
Like I said to Scarlett, no tact or compassion. They never have and never will though.
The next four days are going to be the longest ever. Thank you for your kind wishes. This forum really is a lifesaver. Everyone is so suppotive, honest and true xxxx
Feeling defeated before you even start is horrible isn’t it? It’s not fair. None of this is fair. Thinking of you and wishing you luck for your next round xx
I had this before my last round of ivf. I just had to pretend it wasn’t happening and focus on myself and it helped, although feels a bit weird. I will be really keeping everything crossed for you this round. Good luck xxx
Reading all these posts is infuriating. I get that other women haven’t been in the situation but c’mon put yourself in someone else’s shoes! There really isn’t an excuse for ignorance. This journey does make you realise how selfish people can be, even those closest to you. I really hope you can find some optimism and hope on this forum. Sending hugs xxx
thank you so much. huge congrats on your news 💕
I feel you. This happened almost exactly to me. She never wanted kids, EVER. Got a bit tipsy one night and figured “let’s try it and see what happens”. She literally had unprotected sex ONCE. By my calculations, I’ve done it about six hundred times, plus two failed rounds of IVF and SHE (who did not want children) gets the baby. When this all happened last year, it actually caused me to have a massive breakdown and fall into a horrible depression. It was the final straw and I couldn’t take it anymore. The worst was when she went on and on about what a fucking disaster it was that she was pregnant. All this to say, I feel your pain. I really, really do. Xoxox
thank you so much for sharing - our friends sound identical - she told me they never, ever had sex! i’ve totally lost my shit this morning & just cannot stop crying.
i am so sorry about your breakdown - infertility is excruciatingly painful, and lonely. how are you now? i hope you are in a better space & i wish you luck on your journey xxxx
Aargh. I feel your frustration.
Really hope your next attempt is successful so you can be bump buddies with her.
It's so bloody unfair isn't it when things like that happen.
Hi Noodles,
We all know here how this can be frustrating even infuriating...
My best friend have been trying for 9 months. This period was great for us as we were sharing our doubts, feelings... and after 9 months, she managed to get pregnant. i was happy for her, but so disgusted for myself.
I had to stop then sharing as I wanted her to enjoy her pregnancy. This has been so hard since then...
My hubby was there but this is not like your bff...
Another example, one of my friends at work, started at the time as me to conceive, she got pregnant the first month... it was 4 years ago, she has 2 kids now...
This is so unfair, I know, but normal the way you feel! You are not a bad friend, you are human!!!
Allow yourself to cry, to shout, to be angry...
I told my closed friends what I was going through, so they understand.
You need to vent out, so talk to us, to others, you will be better with time you will see!
This is the normal process, we have been through the same
You have the impression you did everything right and you deserve it. That's probably true, not helping to feel better when you are comparing with others!
Try and accept the situation, this is unfair! Try and focus on the next steps!
You are strong and you will do it!!!!
We are also here to support you, so you are not alone!!!!!
I know how you fell all my friends and cuzons in my family are mums and I am the only one that's is not yet. You are only human. And no one should hold that against you I had to talk to my friends to get them to understand how I feel and as I was saying away from them at the time but I must say when I e explained why i felt I had to stay away cos I upset me it helped me to be happy for them and that one day I would be my turn. Someone one said to me what's for you won't go by you and I think its true as now I am settling up a pain to go for ivf and try and have a baby of my own. I hope that this time will be a different outcome for you xxx
thank you for you kind words amanda. wishing you all the best on your journey too xx
I’m sorry I find pregnancy announcements awful too- particularly when it just happens so easily sigh.
It’s ok to have bad days and feel angry and hurt- it is a unfair situation to be in and my heart breaks for us all going through this but by god we are a strong bunch of ladies 🙌🏻
Perhaps distance yourself a bit till whilst you are feeling vulnerable. I would tell her whilst you are happy for her it is a painful reminder of everything you want. I told my best friend- who has had two babies since we’ve been ttc- and she’s a great support. She always wants to hear how we are on the baby front and is really behind us even tho she hasn’t been through it she does try to understand. 😊
Remember bad days don’t last forever and tomorrow is a new day 😊
You are on your own individual journey and try not to compare yourself/ your journey to others. I found once I accepted we were on our own path I felt much better and more positive 😊
We are all here for you whenever you need us xoxo
thanks jess, i agree with you & know you’re right that we are on different journeys, some days it just feels unbearably cruel.
i so appreciate your kind words and support xx
My sister-in-law got pregnant with her second with 8 short months of having her first. My best friend is pregnant with her first. I can’t help feeling jealous. Isolating myself is the only way I can cope
oh rainbow, i’m exactly the same - self preservation is totally normal, but it can be so lonely. sending big hugs xxx
Ooh Noodles. I completely understand; you want to be happy for them, but at the same time it hurts so much and it's makes you so angry.
We've been trying for over 4 years now. In that time 5 of our friends have gotten pregnant naturally and one couple have just announced they are pregnant again!
The announcements always coincide with the arrival of my period. A double whammy when I'm at my lowest.
I'm wishing you big hugs and sending lots of positive thoughts for your 3rd round. Try to stay hopeful and concentrate on the two of you. Fingers crossed for you xx
Oh Noodles, I really feel for you. It's a kick in the teeth when people "just thought they'd give it a go". They're always, always the ones who get pregnant without any trouble.
"Oh, we didn't expect it to happen straight away" Are you f**king kidding me??
I feel you, I really do. Please don't give up. Another person's positive doesn't equal a negative for you xxx
you’re totally right - i can’t just give up. think it’s probably my hormones playing up too.
i hope you are well wherever you are on your journey xx
So sorry your going through this hunny. My best friend told me she was pregnant the day I started my injections and I really struggled and had to have some time apart from her. She was not very nice when we met up recently so don’t know if we will ever get back to normal. But if you need some time be truthful with your friend and explain to her why it’s hard. I think messaging someone is easier for me if I know they are pregnant than meeting up with hem and seeing the bump etc.
Sending you lots of love xxx
really sorry to hear about your friend violet - so disappointing.
luckily my friend totally gets it, but i still feel a loss - i don’t know how things will work out.
sending positive vibes ✨✨✨
I know the feeling! But please keep going until you get what you want. There is a saying every story has a happy ending and if you are not happy it’s not the end... I have my fingers and toes crossed for you...
Pregnant work friends
Friend trying to get pregnant 
Another friend pregnant (again)
...another friend pregnant 😫
