Too little care

[silvanti_78]

Hello Ladies,

I hope you all doing well.

I have finally reached week 16 with my twins. Heartburn/ swollen legs & cramps have already showed up as well.

Just after I reached week 12 I started bleeding ( not just spotting ) and as you can imagine I was in shock. I was thinking yayy week 12 - risk is much lower & then the bleeding started. To my luck it happened on a weekend out of hours ( EPU ) so I called the maternity unit and the said that I shall I go to the A&E. So husband & I made our way in. 20mins later a nurse came - measured BP & pulse , walked off and returned shortly. Her words to me : we are not scanning you now, you are not in a life threatening condition. If you were to miscarry , you can do this safely at home.

I was so gobsmacked by this answer that I didn’t know what to say . She made a referral to the EPU for the next morning. And I went home again. It was the worst night of my life. I was certain that I lost my babies.

Next morning at 7:30 a nurse from the EPU called and said A&E referred you - what’s the matter .. so I explained to her the bleeding since 14 hours etc etc .,, she looked at my notes and said : please be aware that after we seen & scanned you , you will not have another scan for two weeks regardless whether the bleeding stops or not! Ok fair enough I thought!

We went to the EPU - the place was empty - no one there . The Sonographer said to me : we are not doing anything fancy - we are not equipped for that. He looked at the babies - found the heartbeat & that was it. No look if there’s a bleed inside or anything .

The nurse took me to give me an anti D injection due to my blood type ( 0 neg) she said if the bleeding doesn’t stop please contact your GP to have your cervix checked.

I contacted my fertility doctor in Istanbul & he said to me take progesterone ( which I stopped week 11 ) he faxed a prescription to my GP which after some discussion with the gynaecologist at the hospital agreed to send this to my local pharmacy!

The bleeding stopped after 3 days but every time going to the loo - is a nightmare! I can’t relax etc.

I am not stupid and am aware that if a miscarriage happens , no good doctor in the world can stop it !

I have been pregnant before ( in Germany ) and the care is just much different ! Woman gets checked down below . Gets seen my the OB gyn every 4 weeks & towards the end every two weeks.

I’ve seen the consultant by now and to be honest , It was a waste of time. What she has told me , I knew already !

I had a private scan on Monday & thank god both babies are well ! We also know by now that we are expecting two boys.

With all this blessing, I still cannot feel at ease . My family back home in Germany & my in laws in algeria cannot understand why no cervix exam is done ! I read about german pregnant ladies when they write my cervix length etc & I’m clueless . Am I expecting too much ? Are my worries unjustified?

Husband & are going away to Algeria in 3 weeks time & my sister in law has already booked me in with her OB Gyn for a proper check up. I know it’s not much but it will cost me roughly £20 there and I really haven’t got much to lose.

Sorry for the long post but I had to get that if my chest.

[Cinderella5]

Im genuinely shocked! Never have I heard of a patient being treated so badly, I think I would complain but that's up to you. I cant offer any advice really but Im glad to hear that all was well at scan and that you'll be checked over in Algeria! Sending hugs.xx

[silvanti_78 in reply to Cinderella5]

I am glad I am going on holiday . It’s just nerve wracking !

[Hidden]

That really does sound awful. Just a small kind word here or there would at least have made a difference for you. I hope your bleeding stops and really glad you will be seen to properly when you go on holiday xx

[silvanti_78 in reply to Hidden]

I know . The bleeding stopped already but obviously when going through IVF everything is just more sensitive . The route we go to have a baby .. then a small incident like that can put you in edge.

[Hidden in reply to silvanti_78]

I really hope things turn around for you soon. Of course you will have more ease when you go abroad. Should not be the case though. I really feel for you xx

[LadyMM]

Ohh my dear so sorry for what you been through , all what matters now your babies are ok and you will be ok just remember that , everything will be fine unfortunately what you faced here is not a surprise to me , I had early miscarriage and as I know there is nothing they can do to stop it lukly my AE was helpful and I was sent for scan and they did check everything I had very thorough check .

My advise to you to relax and not exhaust your self maybe you need to postpone your flight until the bleed stop if that's ok .

Be strong for your babies and god will protect you .

[Billywhizz10]

Sorry to hear your story, the exact same thing happened to us. Bleeding at 13 weeks, rushed to A.E, only to be told to get a scan in the morning, they just sent us home.

Lucky for us ,my mother is a retired ward sister and my wife's uncle is a consultant , both told us as there was no clotting, it SHOULD be ok, but both said get checked first thing. Like you the scan was very quick, once they saw the baby and saw she was OK and hearbeat was good, they said to tell them of any further bleeding, had the Anti d injection and told us not to worry about it.

Our next scan wasn't scheduled till 21 weeks. I was really angry, but made sure I didn't take it out on the staff, my mother has many friends in the NHS, and they really are working under great strain.

In the UK under the NHS, the staff often have no real time to re-assure patients , a lot of them are working round the clock , that's what my mum and uncle in law say and you see it certainly in hospitals here in London.

In Germany everyone has to have health insurance and they have a brilliant health care system, its well funded. Here in the UK its very different - where everything is totally free, but its not funded as well as it needs to be, the result is a NHS on the verge of breaking down.

Try not to worry too much, it sounds 'normal' , my wife bled for around 3 days too back when she was 13 weeks, she's 25 weeks now and our last scan at 21 weeks shows a perfect baby, we feel her kicking now too,

I'm sure you will have a healthy baby! x

[silvanti_78 in reply to Billywhizz10]

Thank you 😊 I know NHS has only so many Resources however I sometimes think it depends on the doctor / sonographer how you get treated . When I went to the EPU first time .. the person in charge took its time and checked why I had so much pain etc.

I know us Germans are spoiled in regards to health care etc . I’d love to get a private insurance but I already noticed that even having this .. I won’t get any additional care at all. I guess different country / different approaches .

I did have a 16 week gender scan ( to break the 8 week wait ) and we saw two healthy baby boys )

Next NHS scan is in 3 weeks . And then I have the doctors appointment in Algeria .

I wasn’t trying to make the NHS sound bad / not at all - if you have only so little resources then your hands are tied. I’ve met some fantastic medical staff but unfortunately also some really heartless 😢

[Billywhizz10 in reply to silvanti_78]

Oh, I know you wasn't try to make the nhs sound bad, I completely feel for you as I went through the same thing. For sure you get some staff that go above and beyond in a very difficult situation. For my wife, after so many tough years and her first pregnancy through IVF, we were very sensitive. I think the staff at the A /E could have been a bit more sensitive with her and the staff doing the scan, they have to understand that some mothers are very anxious , understandably after going through so much to get their pregnancies.

Again, best of luck with your boys ! x

[Lilli79]

Congratulations on your twin babies, I am also having twins - currently 30 weeks. I had exactly the same at week 13, bleeding like a heavy period and nasty blood clots. Stopped after 5 days and was just awful, but my local midwife unit and epu were brilliant and so sympathetic to me. What you experienced just sounds awful!! My problem was placenta previa which was confirmed at 20 weeks scan. They said at 13 weeks that the babies and placenta are too small to know for sure but this is what they suspected. The midwife explained that they could do a cervical check but that any prodding could make it worse. She said rest and relaxation was the best medicine to allow the placenta to heal, it was probably ruptured due to baby moving around in there. Just thought I'd give you some comfort of others being in the same position. Hope in future they are a little more compassionate to you xxx

[Lilli79 in reply to Lilli79]

Ps. Mine was also a very basic scan, the sonographer gave me a hug after as I burst into tears with the relief of seeing them alive & well!! I did have another scan at 17 weeks because that was my first consultant appointment. The midwife did say to me however that she was happy to scan me at week 15, even if no problems (she told me to lie, lol!!). They prefer not to scan any more than 2 weeks due to risk of elevated heat to uterus due to scanning equipment (possibly a load of nonsense but they do have to be careful in early pregnancy). I didn't get that 15 week scan and my next one wasn't until 20 weeks. Apparently if you say you are bleeding they won't refuse you - not sure if that's the same everywhere