It was all just too good to be true - Fertility Network UK

Fertility Network UK
24,768 members36,674 posts

It was all just too good to be true

hifer
hifer

So we had our 9 week scan this morning and, once again, we have no heartbeat😢. It measured 7weeks 6 days which is similar to the last time I had a missed miscarriage. I just thought this time was our time. That finally we had caught a break. That finally I would be able to tell family and friends some good news. We had such a strong heartbeat at 7 weeks again so something is going wrong between 7 and 9 weeks. If anyone has experience of this and can share, I would be incredibly grateful.

My body hates bleeding so once again I’m sure I will need medical management. We’ve been to EPU as an emergency this morning and I have an appointment on Wednesday morning for a follow up at the hospital. Obviously, because life is hateful, I still feel pregnant and have all the symptoms (headaches, really sore boobs, sickness etc).

Devastated and back to the drawing board we go.

Xx

114 Replies
oldestnewest

Awww sweetheart, Im so sorry!! Absolutely devastated for you both. Sending lots of love and hugs. Thinking of you.xxx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Cinderella5

Thank you. That is much appreciated. We just can’t catch a break huh?! Lots of love to you too lovely xx

Cinderella5
Cinderella5
in reply to hifer

Aww its just awful, look after yourselves.xxx

So sorry 💖 xx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Sorax

Thanks hun x

So sorry to hear this, hifer. Really had hoped you had caught a break and would be sharing continuing good news. Just not fair. Just so so sorry. Can I recommend wine in the meantime before your hospital appointment? Sending all my love and hugs. xxxxxxx

hifer
hifer
in reply to ttcemmie

Thank you. It’s just so hard isn’t it?! You can recommend wine which is exactly what I’m drinking now!! Xx

wow so sorry to hear it’s happening again. I pray you have the strength to carry on.💕😍

hifer
hifer
in reply to Cici85

Thank you. It feels like I don’t at the moment but that will pass and I’m sure we will continue on. Xx

I am so sorry hifer. As if the pandemic isn’t enough to deal with now this. I hope you find the space and the time to heal and indulge in some self care. I second ttcemmie’s recommendation xx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Baby_gurl

It’s a good recommendation. One I have taken up. Thank you xx

So sorry hifer that is devastating. I know that for some reason the 6-9 weeks is unreal sensitive. I have no idea why though but as someone who has had 6 miscarriages I’ve noticed this sensitivity. Is there any way you can biopsy it to see what happened? Was this with ivf? Was it pgs tested? I’m sending you all my love and hugs xxx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Corchi

Thank you. This was a miracle natural pregnancy. (We’ve had embryos PGS tested with IVF although the last transfer failed!) I will def ask for biopsy/ further investigations but I suspect as this is my second miscarriage they might say no (as opposed to my third). Will give it a go though. How on earth have you survived 6 miscarriages??! You must have such amazing strength and resilience that I’m not sure I was blessed with! Thank you for your kind message xx

Corchi
Corchi
in reply to hifer

I don’t really have strength. I have been thorough hell and still now pregnant with a hematoma and back and forth with bleeding. Hysteria every time. Sometimes I just want to give up but then I just keep going. Don’t know how I do it either or any of us for that reason! I’m so sorry this happened to you. When can you begin again do you think or are you not ready yet?

So sorry to hear this! I had a missed miscarriage a couple of months ago and it’s so awful, so I’m thinking about you and sending you lots of good and positive thoughts xxx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Catlady12345

Thank you. I am sending love to you too. They are just so awful as you start to get your hopes up and then they are just all dashed. Hope you’re ok xx

Catlady12345
Catlady12345
in reply to hifer

Ah thank you, I’m ok thanks and trying to look forward now. I wasn’t as far gone as you but it’s all the holes for the future that you get excited about isn’t it. One day we’ll get our little miracles and it’ll all be worth it. Look after yourself and take the time you need 💕 xx

Oh hun I am so sorry to hear that. Thinking of you and sending hugs xx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Lots8788

Thank you x

There are no words hun :( I'm so so sorry. Thinking of you both

hifer
hifer
in reply to Hope25

Thank you x

Im sos sorry lovely. Wish you all the strength in this horrible time x

hifer
hifer
in reply to Mimisami

Thank you x

Oh I’m so sorry to hear your sad news! I was so delighted when I saw your last message of your miracle natural conception while waiting for fertility clinics to kick off again .

Unfortunately it’s super common around this stage - with my natural 4 mC’s because of being over 40 they said it was down to chromosomal abnormalities even thought we didn’t have any tests. Hence we finally made the decision to goto donor eggs.

I believe you are younger so perhaps this shouldn’t be the case. See what they say about testing. I’m so sorry as I totally know what you are going through about wanting that lucky break and telling everyone.

It sucks when you still feel pregnant also and just need it to all be over.

Look after yourselves and yes lots of self care and hugs 🤗 for one another - thinking of you. Xx

hifer
hifer
in reply to londonrc

Thanks hun. Wishing you all the very beat xx

I'm so deeply sorry Hifer. Sending you lots of virtual hugs. Give yourself plenty of time to recuperate and please keep that spirit of going back to the drawing board when you are ready.

hifer
hifer
in reply to Rella22

Thank you. Yes I will need some time to regroup. Hope you’re ok xx

Am so sorry to hear this. X x

Can’t imagine the pain. Keep faith I know it’s hard. Have a wine or 5 and take time to grieve. So sorry Xx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Kelz2020

👍👍

I'm so sorry to read this and can imagine the pain your going through. Feels so cruel to be given hope and then just like that taken away from you. Sending you lots of hugs your way xx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Sammy246

Thank you. It feels awful at the mo.

X

Sammy246
Sammy246
in reply to hifer

The next few weeks will feel awful. Take each day at it comes and hopefully your GP can refer you for some answers x

Oh lovely, I’m so sorry for you both 😢 x

hifer
hifer
in reply to Miracle43

Thank you x

Thinking of you xxxx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Millbanks

Thank you x

Millbanks
Millbanks
in reply to hifer

Sometimes it makes me so angry. It’s so bloody unfair. I wish I believed in some sort of divine plan to make sense of it, but I don’t, so it just makes me frustrated and angry xxx

I’m so so sorry. How awfully unfair!

hifer
hifer
in reply to Blue1986

Thank you x

So sorry to hear your sad news. Sending you love ❤️ xx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Kurstx

Thank you x

So sorry Hifer 😔 this is so tough. Sending you love and strength 💕xxx

hifer
hifer
in reply to CLDxxx

Thank you x

I’m so so sorry to read this 😢 Just wanted to send you a big hug and say life is bloody cruel sometimes and I hope you’ll be ok xxx

hifer
hifer
in reply to KiboXX

Thanks hun x

I am so sorry xx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Georgie17

Thank you x

So sorry to hear this, I had repeated miscarriages and it turned out I had an under active thyroid. Once I got this under control I was able to get pregnant naturally with my son. Suffered with secondary infertility ever since (hes 5 in a few weeks) but think it’s due to scarring from his birth. Have you had your thyroid levels checked? xxx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Chowlady14

Hi there. I have an under active thyroid too. I take thyroxine every day. Hopefully we can get to the bottom of the issue x

Chowlady14
Chowlady14
in reply to hifer

Apparently under active thyroids cause a lot of early miscarriages as the baby uses your thyroid until around 9 or 10 wks. This is the reason I was given. Also do you know the reason for Your under active thyroid? Did you have your levels tested whilst pregnancy as they can need your medication adjusting. The reason for mine is hashimotos disease so thyroid antibodies. This is also another miscarriage cause. If you test positive for these antibodies it might be the case that you require steroids to suppress your immune system when pregnant. This would stop your antibodies attacking the pregnancy although I believe they are refusing to prescribe presently due to CoVID but at least if you had the test you would know. Ask your GP to refer you to an endocrinologist for these tests due to repeated miscarriages and your already diagnosed thyroid disease. Mine didn’t hesitate hope you get sorted xxx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Chowlady14

Hi I have had the antibody test and don’t have Hashimotos. I did up my levothyroxine levels during pregnancy and had a full blood count to check everything was ok which it was and the GP also sought the advice of an endocrinologist too. I have just had a second full blood count which was meant to see that things were still ok but I decided to have it anyway to see if it could shed any light. X

Chowlady14
Chowlady14
in reply to hifer

Oh I’m sorry I thought perhaps this could give you some answers but I see you’ve clearly already investigated every eventuality regarding your thyroid. I really hope you find a reason so you can move forward xxx

I’m so sorry Hifer, life can be so cruel, I’m devastated for you. Sending lots of love and hugs xxx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Lavender96

Thanks hun x

I’m so sorry. Sending you all the love and strength needed to get through this xxx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Peanutchips

Thank you. I’m going to need strength that’s for sure x

I’m so sorry to read your sad news and can’t even begin to imagine what you must be going through 😥 Take care xx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Tiger321

Thank you x

Hidden
Hidden

I’m so sorry to hear this Hifer 😢 sending you lots of love during this difficult time. I hope they can look into it and suggest a reason for this. Could it be a clotting problem? Xxx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Hidden

Maybe. I think that’s one of the only things I’ve not had tested so I want to check that. Will see what they say at the hospital x

Hidden
Hidden
in reply to hifer

Definitely check for it, my mum had 3 very close miscarriages and they decided to give her aspirin and that’s when my brother happened. All the best for your review. Look after yourself xxx

So sorry ❤ xx

I had a medical management in January and it's just not fair. I can't imagine going through that again. If there is anything to take from this is that you got pregnant naturally and it can happen again. I'm thinking of you Xx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Maisie234

Sorry to hear that you had to go through that too. Thank you x

Awwwh darling I’m so sorry to see this . Life is so cruel sending you lots of love take time to heal xxx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Noah1981

Thank you. It really is. We just can’t catch a break! X

I’m so sorry to hear this, thinking of you 😢🤗 xx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Twiglet2

Thank you x

So so so sorry to hear 😔 wishing you all the best and sending you virtual hugs. Hope you have lots of support. Life is indeed cruel at times. Xxx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Lovemylion

Thank you. We do have a lot of support so are very lucky on that front. Xx

I’m really so sorry. Thinking of you xx

Oh no, I’m so sorry to hear this. I thought this really was your time. Hopefully the hospital can shed some light on it and will look into tests for you to see what is causing it. In the meantime, please look after yourselves and take the time you need to grieve for this baby x

hifer
hifer
in reply to Lynnr54

Thank you. We did too! Yes we’ll see what they say at the hospital tomorrow xx

Hi hun, i can understand the pain i had miscarriage on last wed only. 6+ weeks pregnancy. Everything came out at home with intense pain nd bleeding. Still emotionally broken. Sending hugs xx...

hifer
hifer
in reply to monika86

Oh god I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. It’s just so tough! Sending you lots of hugs and time as that is basically what gets you through. Really hope you are ok xx

I’m so sorry to read this. Take some time for you. What ever you’re feeling it’s ok to feel that. Xxx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Kitty230515

Thank you x

Oh I am so sorry lovely 😢 it's such am awful thing to go through. Just take everything one day at a time 💕

hifer
hifer
in reply to bms12

Thanks hun x

I am so sorry. Sending you virtual hugs. I can only imagine how devastated you both are! Sending you my love! Xx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Samosa17

Thanks lovely x

I’m so so sorry to read this, absolutely heartbreaking for you 😭 xx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Core

Thank you x

So sorry sending hugs x

hifer
hifer
in reply to ChloeL934

Thank you x

Im so sorry you're going through this. Its happened to me 3 times, always between 6-9 weeks (all ivf pregnancies)

Its just the most awful feeling hearing those words time and time again, every time feeling like a bit more of the person you were dies.

Fast forward to fresh ivf cycle 6, our last cycle whatever the outcome... with added steroids & lubion and here i am nearly 16 weeks pregnant... Still doesn't feel real, i honestly think that its the steroids that made the difference for me. I had chicago bloods and was found to have raised NK cells.

Look after each other and good luck for the future 💕

hifer
hifer
in reply to st1984

Sorry to hear of your losses and congrats on being 16 weeks. Amazing news. Am definitely going to push for some investigations at the hospital tomorrow. I don’t know whether they will as I’ve had 2 miscarriages rather than 3 but will def ask. Glad you found out what the issue was xx

I’m so very sorry to hear you are going through this again. 😢 my fertility dr would’ve done further investigations if I’d had 2 miscarriages ( I only had one) might be worth asking if you haven’t had any investigations for why these miscarriages are happening esp at the same point. I swear having steroids made a difference to my next pregnancy which was successful. I hope you can get some answers going forwards but for now just give yourself as much time as you need.xxx

hifer
hifer
in reply to jess1981

Thank you. Yes a few have mentioned steroids. I will def ask them what they can do and hope for the best xx

I'm so sorry 😪. Lost for words. Sending you a bug hug. Xxx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Yazlinda

Thanks hun x

I’m so sorry. You must be absolutely heartbroken 💔 Sending you the strength to get through this xx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Shelleybean

Thanks hun x

Oh Hifer, I'm so sorry to read this. Currently going through the same thing and just feel massively fed up more than anything. Cant get pregnant, won't stay pregnant - doesn't feel like this will ever happen for me :( Sorry to be a Debby Downer but its so difficult to stay positive on some days. Sending you lots of love xx

hifer
hifer
in reply to KDA0510

I’ve literally just replied to your post and then saw this!! I totally hear you. We are going through the same thing. No I can’t be positive about anything at the moment. Thankfully my husband is positive enough for the both of us at the mo! It’s bad enough struggling to get pregnant and then, like you say, apparently staying pregnant is also a massive challenge! It’s all just so so hard!! Sending you lots of love xx

I am so very sorry to hear your sad news, Thinking of you and sending lots of love 😘 I appreciate this is not much consultation the moment but you had a miracle natural pregnancy so this could happen again and hopefully when it does next time will be different hold on to that hope as hey if we don’t have hope we wouldn’t all be going through through this you are a strong women, allow your self time to heal and when the time comes to try again keep that hope and your fighting spirit in the meantime have lots of what you fancy wine, chocolate etc I think you have earned yourself a break from the rollercoaster for a while take care xx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Coral76

Thanks hun. Yes hope is the only thing that keeps us going! Xx

I’m so so sorry that this has happened to you again lovely. It is absolutely devastating. I was so pleased when I read about your surprise pregnancy and really hoped that it would finally be your time. Life does feel so cruel at times. Take care. Give yourself the time and space to heal if you can. Sending big hugs xxx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Picalilli99

Thanks so much. I know it is so so cruel! Xx

So sorry to read this Hifer. Hope you have good support around you...x

Oh god I have just seen this I am so so sorry - been there and know how much it hurts

I can't remember... have you had the repeat MC blood tests? my consultant felt that my loss around the same time could have been due to blood clotting issues and I came back positive for all sorts of sticky blood problems

Sending you an enormous hug xx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Daisy1245

Thanks hun. I pushed for additional tests when I was in the hospital yesterday but the NHS are sticking to their guns that they won’t do further testing until I’ve had 3 miscarriages. There was a consultant there that does private investigations though and the doctor said she was going to email him for me 🤞. I can’t believe that my experience is a coincidence as the timing of the miscarriages are soooo specific (between 7.5-8 weeks and we also had a heartbeat both times). I need to have hope that we can get to the bottom of it xx

Daisy1245
Daisy1245
in reply to hifer

yeah we had a heartbeat exactly the same at 7.3 and then it looks like it stopped at about 7.5 but we didnt find out until 9 1/2 weeks.

I can't remember how old you are? The similar MC I had was 'only' my second (like it makes it ok!) but because I was in my early 40s I pushed hard to get referred and they agreed as time wasn't on my side. Glad to hear someone took you seriously and hope you get to investigate.

I had the blood tests and tested positive for 3 different sticky blood type things. I also had an MRI and found my heart shaped womb was really bad so had an op to fix that. I have gone on to have a couple more MC so its not like it was any of it was an immediate fix but at least each time you feel like you are doing something more proactive (like blood thinners)

Its royally sh1t and I wish it hadn't happened again to you xx

hifer
hifer
in reply to Daisy1245

I’m 41 so time isn’t on my side either. Interesting that you managed to push for investigations. After my surgery I’m going to go back to the GP and do the same! I also have a heart shaped womb. Ffs it’s just a whole barrage of things isn’t it?? I agree we feel like we need to do something so at least you might be making little steps toward an eventual success! So sorry that you went on to have more mcs. I hope you are one step further on I really do xx

hifer
hifer
in reply to hifer

Also did you have any other symptoms with your sticky blood or did they literally find it routinely as you’d pushed for the test? X

Daisy1245
Daisy1245
in reply to hifer

literally found it out of the blue! I think they did 8 tests and I came back positive to lupus, and then 2 others... all of which can cause repeat MC by causing blood clots. I hadn't had a blood clot or DVT and travel long haul with work loads! I then spent about a month panicking I had lupus but I dont think I do, I think its something different haha.

I had had my septum in my womb shaved off previously, I dont know if it grew back or just wasn't done properly! But it was there again on the MRI so got that done. They found a load of fibroids as well but I always knew they were there but they have just left them!

Definitely keep pushing, I am a huge fan of the NHS especially at times like this but found their MC management really cold and unhelpful - particularly in EPU. I think I struck lucky because my IVF consultant was also a consultant at the hospital where my EPU was so I kept name dropping him and eventually people started to take me a bit more seriously xx

I’m so sorry. Sending love & positivity your way 🧡

Oh hun I'm so sorry that you are going through this, life can be so cruel.

Unfortunately I too can relate to what you are going through, I've had 3 missed MCs. Mine were all weeks 6-7 and the last two were at exactly 6+2. I've asked if there is a reason why this would occur at the exact same point and was told it was simply a coincidence. My gut says there is more to this.

It's even more shitty /unfair when your body can't let go naturally and you are living with pregnancy symptoms. I've had two D&Cs and the last one was medically managed (would never knowingly chose medical management again) .

I would suggest requesting a biopsy to understand if there is an underlying cause. I had this done with my first two and unfortunately with the medical management didn't have a sufficient sample to test. However even with a biopsy this didn't provide any closure, as there was no chromosomal abnormalities and was advised it was simply 'bad luck'.

Thinking of you and I'm here if you need anything. Take care and big hugs 💜💜

hifer
hifer
in reply to ChristineB05

I’m so sorry for your losses and really grateful that you have shared your experiences as obviously they are similar to mine. Yes we are going to request the biopsy. Sadly we have to pay for it but we feel we do need to do it even though it might come back with no conclusions, exactly as you say. ‘Bad luck’ just simply doesn’t cut it does it?! Are you having any additional testing like blood clotting etc if you don’t mind me asking? Xx

I also had to pay for the testing but would do it over again on the off chance that we could get some answers.

I have been tested for NK Cells and have elevated NK cells. My last pregnancy was with a new clinic and a FS who would not acknowledge treatment for NK Cells.

To be honest at the time I wasn't completely comfortable to do nothing about my NK cells but she was adamantly refused to consider prednisolene and cleaxne. I've now gone back to my original FS (I had stopped seeing simply due to his higher costs).

Have you had NK cell testing?

hifer
hifer
in reply to ChristineB05

Oh jeez as if it’s not stressful enough! Money is such a factor in this ongoing nightmare! Sounds like you were right to return back to your original FS though. No I’ve not had NK testing or any blood clotting tests which are both next on my list. I think there is some immune issues going on but that’s only a gut feeling as I have an under active thyroid so it wouldn’t surprise me. Thanks for all the info, really helpful xx

ChristineB05
ChristineB05
in reply to hifer

I know right, as if this journey couldn't be more stressful.

I think you are right to get the testing done and go with your gut. I also believe my issue is an immune issue and what I've learnt is to listen to my instincts and my gut. I feel we are so determined to realise our dreams that we need to push, ask questions, challenge them, do whatever we need to get the outcome we deserve.

Sorry I get so fired up and frustrated with some FS complacency.

Good luck hun and glad to hear this has been helpful xx

hifer
hifer
in reply to ChristineB05

Good luck to you too xx

You may also like...