Fertility Network UK
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Hi this is my first time at writting a blog and i have to say im not to sure what to say so i just going to say it.

Im 29 years old nearly 30 in january i work full time and yes i have a high bmi of 36 have been told that if ivf needed my bmi has to be 29.

I am trying hard with my weight so far lost a stone but have put on all the weight since i was signed off with depression.

Well me and my husband have been trying for a baby for over 2 years and as yet nothing.

About 9 months ago my doctor sent me to see a fertility doctor and she has given me a drug called clomid.

4 months later nothing and im so low,I just cant seem to get over the fact that it not working,i know there are many people out there who are in same boat and i know i wont be the last but i just cant cope never knew it could be so hard.

I watch programes which have babys in and get very broody cry most of the time not sure which way to turn anymore.

any way i have started a blog to see if i can get some advice to help me or support.

Thank you for taking the time to read this hope i havent rambled on to much.

17 Replies

Hi babyhopes

You've not rambled on at all.

Trying to conceive can be incredibly emotionally draining, which, along with increased sensititivity are just two of the recognised side effects of clomid - without the pressures of waiting to see if the clomid has 'worked' each month.

It can come as a huge shock to find out you do need assistance and the TV, newsparers and radio can at times feel like they are full of smiling babies and happy families. It can be incredibly isolating, so I am pleased you've recognised that you're not alone, have found us and have taken the really brave step of writing your first blog about it all.

I know some of our I N UK members are also trying to lose weight, which also adds to the stresses, would it help if I put a weight loss forum on the main website?

Actually I'll go and do that and if you want to use it you can do so, it will hopefully be a place where anyone trying to conceive by any means and lose weight at the same time can share and offer peer support.

Do get in touch any time and we all wish you good luck.


(Just to let you know that standard membership is now free, giving access to the forums and our weekly virtual support group returns each Monday in September.)


Hi thank you tracey so much for yourkind words and support may i ask wherei might find the weight loss chart you was speaking of? x

Thank you again.


Dear babyhopes

You're very welcome!

I have added a weight loss forum here:


and will add links to weight loss articles and resources later today.

Do get in touch any time, we're here to help.



Not sure why only half the liky hyperlinked, the link above goes to the main forum page - if you scroll down to the caring & sharing section the weight loss forum is in there.



It's a constant battle, I am on my last round of clomifene and no joy.. I just pick myself up and think that infertility won't beat me.

They gym or running us also good to loose weight and help with your depression, trust me I've been there. There are no motivational words to inspire you only that without keeping the image if me my husband and our future baby I would have given up long ago.. Good luck.. Keep going it will be worth it! :)



I'm with you on the weight issue- I'm awaiting treatment for egg donation as at 32 have had an early menopause. Also need that allusive BMI 29.9 but am finding it harder and harder- almost because I have to do it - also very down with the whole thing which is where my comfort eating comes in. I'm going to use the weight loss site- great idea- maybe some group support like this and not just weight watcher style will help us all motivate and get there. xx


Just to let you know you can gladly use here! And/or the weight loss forum ont he I N UK site - you'll see I've added a few free online resources to get you started and also a sin-bin to dump anything you'd rather forget in to and am about to add another to share those goals acheived.

Good luck everyone.



PS Any other suggestions appreciated!



Hi thank you all so much for your kind words of support.

Today i amfinding things really hard spent most of today crying about the smalliest things,im back to docs tommrow for my depression and didnt help i came on today as well.

So just 2 more months left on clomid then back to fertility clinic in october to be told no more help untill your bmi down.

I have been trying so hard but at the moment my negative thoughts are getting more in the way of my happieness.

Tracey i tryed to post on weight loss site and i wouldnt let me any ideas?.


babyhopes the log in is different to here - you need to register beneath the log in area - sadly the two sites aren't connected so each requires its own log in.

I've shared the link on another post to the Coping Strategies factsheet - it can be quite helpful, especially the creative visualistion.

Do make use of here, the forums and find support as you need it when you need it!

We're here to help.



Well yet again im falling to bits :( ive been signed off for another 4 weeks as i cant pull myself together.

Just finished my 5th lot of clomid and well really cant seem to hold out any hope on this month it working or the last month i got.

My husband really dont know what to say to me when i cry or when i in a mood,which seems to be a lot.


Hi babyhopes

Sorry to hear your feeling so low. I really hope the moral support from others trying to lose weight will help you and you get that BFP soon. I get down a lot too. Sometimes I feel sorry for my husband as he can't really say anything to make it better. I sometimes find if he just holds me, it brings some comfort and is better than words. Maybe when you're in a better mood, you could talk to your husband about what helps you. Take care.

T x


Hi Babyhopes,

I am on clomifene(chlomid) still and Ias well am awaiting my next 6 monthly visit to my specialist, I in my head what will be said, I need to loose more weight before I can go for IVF and another 6 months of fertility drugs which make no difference to my body at all.

I recieved a letter from my specialist a week after a routine blood test telling me to double the dose as it was having no effect. I have been for tests since and no further contact, so you would assume good news, but I dont feel any different, I know how hard it is and as I said previously, it is hard to get motivated. I am struggling with my weight, I got down to withing 1/2 stone of the weight I needed and because of set backs and right up at the highest weight ever.

Like I say although it is hard, we can onloy take one day at a time, the fertility drugs also make you emotional. I find myself crying at the smallest thing, or getting angry with my husband for very little.

Just try to remember that although you need support from your husband, you need to support him too. Not in the usual way of positive thoughts, cos trust me I know how hard they are to muster, but just being there and having moments where you both know how the other is feeling, even if you dont talk about it.

After 6 nearly 7 yrs, I wouldnt have made it through otherwise.

Good luck, remember we all deserve this, and it we fight long enough and hard enough, oneday we will hopefully acheive our goal.

Stay strong...

Sazzle x


Hi I have a letter saying I'm too fat to be seen I've lost 6 stone took 3 years had 2 IVF failed and I'm 39 years old getting so depressed now have found working is better for after 8weeks off work if I can lose weight any one can just eat a heathy diet is all I did all the best xxxx


Hello there. I am very sorry that you have to be so confused about everything. This forum is the best place to interact with people about your problem and get to clear out things. I hope that you got to have some happiness in your life by now. Getting a reply from you and getting to know how you are doing now will really make me happy.


Oh, really miserable condition.I can understand.When you want a baby and not in the condition to conceive.I am also TTC but could not.The doctor said that I have low HB level.You should consult a gym than to taking pills.Losing weight is not easy.It is like climbing the hill. Your immune system and digestive system can get disturbed.Now according to your condition, I will suggest that you should intake some vitamins, especially iron in your diet. Or consult a doctor for the specific vitamin to take.


Hey there. How are you? I hope you're doing well. Listen, it's a tough, tough situation. It's totally fine to lose it, sometimes. You sound like a strong woman. This whole process is really stressful. However, to keep yourself motivated, remember what you're trying to get at the end. A baby! Nothing could be better than having that tiny little part of yourself. IVF is complicated. It takes a lot of time in some cases. Luck is a huge factor. I'd suggest you keep the faith. Don't lose hope. Keep going!


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