My ttc journey so far. Could really do with some support now

[kirstyblue]

Hi everyone,

I’m new! Today has been a horrible day and I really need some support from people who understand what I’m going through.

I’m 28 and been ttc our first with my partner of 11 years. After almost a year of coming off my pill, I had hardly had any periods but convincing myself they would soon come I didn’t seek medical help. Onto the second year of ttc and I went on to get referred to the hospital. After so many tests - bloods, scans (I also have polycystic ovaries) , partners semen etc I finally got to see the consultant.

He gave me the choice between further investigation and ivf..I chose to apply for ivf funding (knowing how much of a long process the uk nhs waiting list is) and also go for a hsg to have my tubes checked.

The hsg showed my tubes all clear and in the meantime my ivf funding had been approved. I was left with the decision- clomid or ivf? The consultant has been so unhelpful in this whole process. I’ve felt so confused and alone as to what to do next. Whilst I’m grateful I have options, I was never expecting ivf to even be one of them after not even trying medication.

After serious thought I’ve decided to go straight for ivf. I’m now having to wait for my first appointment to see the consultant even though after 2 wasted appointments he could of already discussed this with me. Each appointment has felt like a waste of time and I feel like my treatment is never actually going to start. This waiting process is killing me. I feel very bitter today seeing my friends with their babies without a care in the world. I never thought this would happen to me but then again no one ever does. I feel so unlucky.

Please can anyone talk and share their story? X

[beauty1984]

I’m sorry you’re having such a horrible day, this journey we are all on is never easy.

The nhs waiting lists are so long and can feel like forever sometimes but maybe use this waiting time to get yourself together....start taking care of yourself, take the vitamins you need, eat healthily, relax etc. When the consultant asked you about clomid or ivf was there a chance you could do both? I had a 3-6 month wait for my appointment and I asked to have clomid for that time in between (doesn’t hurt to try) plus it will help regulate your period for when it is time to start ivf.

My first round of ivf was a very stressful time, I think because I had never done it before, didn’t know what to expect, nervous of the needles etc plus it was our only funded cycle so was pinning all our hopes on it working. We ended up with BFN and was heartbroken but didn’t give up and had a second round which we paid for and got BFP (this sadly ended at 7 weeks) but I’m clinging on to the hope that it worked and my body is capable of carrying a little embryo. Any questions you have or worries or anything you think may be silly then just ask, this group has been amazing for me and so supportive. Don’t beat yourself up too much, it’s a long and slow process but worth it xx

[penny24]

Hey Kirsty, I’m sorry you are having a stressful time and I completely understand your feeling towards others with babies. All my friends seem to have have had two kids in the time I’ve tried to have one. Hubby and I have been TTC for 3 yrs now. After a year we had the work up done and I have endometriosis with tube damage so went for ivf. We have had 2 failed rounds and no embryos in the freezer. I have a high Amh but I only produce 5-7 eggs each round and the embryos are not good quality. I start stim injections for round three tomorrow so 🤞3rd time lucky. The consultant will transfer two embryos regardless of quality this round (assuming we have two to transfer). It’s a difficult journey but I think every person on here believes it will b worth with it in the end however we make our families. I’m actually looking forward to round three, the sun is shinning (other rounds have been in winter) and I’m trying to look at it as a new chapter and this time next year ...

Don’t be scared of ivf but find a consultant u trust and listens to u, I swapped consultants because I had the same problem as u and it was the best decision, good luck with everything xxx

[kirstyblue]

Thank you so much for your replies. It’s nice to finally find a forum to share how I’m feeling and hopefully help others too. There was no option of both ivf and clomid it was one or the other. The consultant didn’t tell me that if I applied for ivf funding that it would only be valid 6 months!! 😢 I told him at my initial consultation that I was apply for funding and do some further investigation because I wanted to keep my options open. All it’s done is slow things down and confuse both me and the hospital. I think more than anything it’s all the waiting round that’s hurting me most.

You both sound like you’ve been through so much more of a journey than me and here you both are supporting me! Xx

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

Welcome to the forum. Your story sounds similar to many of us on here and I think everyone would agree that the waiting is incredibly hard, especially when people around you are falling pregnant apparently easily. You’ll find lots of support and helpful people on here x

[Lynnr54]

I agree with the other ladies. The waiting is awful. It feels like all you ever do is wait for something. If you can keep other investigations going whilst you’re waiting for your IVF appointment then it would be helpful to rule things out. But if you can’t the first round of IVF is often used as an exploratory round to identify potential problems depending on how many eggs you produce, how many fertilise etc.

In terms of Clomid, it can be helpful if you’re not ovulating but if you are then it probably won’t be hugely helpful. I have PCOS but ovulate so it wouldn’t help me (I wasn’t given the option as my hubby has sperm issues too so no point). However if you’re not ovulating Clomid can be a way to get things going again and I have 2 friends get pregnant after just using Clomid. Can they not give you a couple of rounds of Clomid whilst you wait for your IVF appointments?

I found the best thing to do during this time was to try and prepare my body and my hubby’s body for it. Healthy diet, multi vitamins, plenty of exercise etc. I feel like I’m in control of something by doing that even though the waiting is so frustrating.

Good luck on your journey. You’ll find this is a great place to ask questions and get support as you go along x

[jengi]

Kirsty, so glad you have found us! This forum has been my life line and so grateful for all the support of the ladies on here. I’m so sorry to hear you’ve had a stressful time. There are some great books you can read which I’ve found so useful, ‘it starts with an egg’, I downloaded the audiobook and bought a 2nd copy, also bought 2nd hand copy of Zita West’s book on assisted fertility. The NHS do offer councilling and it is worth considering. My journey is very different to yours so I can’t offer much advise, only to look after yourself, take all the vitamin & minerals, exercise and try take some time out to let your mind relax. I’ve been having acupuncture with a lady who specialises in fertility. My treatment includes meditation time which I’m finding very valuable as time out to give my head a rest. Remember Everyones journey is unique and I wish you the very best on yours, hugs Xx

[Fionamarie]

I sorry you are having a horrible day. I know how you feel seeing people with babies it’s seems all my friends are pregnant at the moment I do congratulate them but I feel why them and not me😢. You are so lucky you get funding for the Ivf in Galway we have to pay for it ourselves I am on my second round this time and it has completely cleared us out, and we’re still not sure it’s going to work I do hope you find the strength to carry on your journey and have a good outcome . Best of luck sending you all my love 😍

[CC2018]

I feel where you're coming from. Been trying for 2 years 8 months with my husband who i've been with for nearly 10 years (i'm 28). Spent the last 12 months having investigations including hsg and hystereoscopy op which was cancelled 3 times before they finally did it and found nothing only to be told we are unexplained infertility. On paper everything looks fine apart from they suspect I have antiphospholipids which means i'm a higher risk of miscarriage but as far as we know we've never been pregnant. My hubby got fed up at our last gynae appointment which we had to wait 5 months for after our first one and told him what was the point of waiting until I had the hystereoscopy done before referring us and the gynaecologist said fair point and referred us which was a good job as I said the op was cancelled 3 x before they did it. We got referred in October and received our funding approved for 1 cycle the end of Jan and only today have I been given the go ahead to start. We did our first lecture in Feb and did the paper work about 2 weeks later. The last two months have been hard as i've been so excited since receiving the letter but to phone up and told you have to wait next month is hard. Since we started trying there's been 14 babies and one more pregnancy in our family and group of friends, a few very unexpected and it is tough. I've avoided being around them as I find it too hard but doing meditation and acupuncture has really helped and I cannot recommend them enough. Good luck on your journjourney and don't be afraid if you want to message me. Hopefully we will both get our miracles.

[CC2018 in reply to CC2018]

And I hope everyone else on here does too. Baby dust and positive thoughts to everyone xx