Coping at work

Hello again everyone,

I am really struggling to cope at work at the moment. I am actually off sick this week with stress. Last week an insensitive colleague shoved a baby scan photo from her son and his wife under my nose, without asking whether I wanted to see it or not; and it just triggered such a lot of difficult pent-up emotions for me. She is very thoughtless anyway, and has made such comments in the past as 'what's the point in being married if you don't have children?' when she knows I am married without children!

She has since apologised and said 'she didn't know', but we have worked together for almost 4 years, and although I haven't gone into great detail, I believe I have said enough that she should know not to do or say things like that around me.

My boss had a word with her. I am feeling very anxious about going back to work. My office is predominantly female so there are constantly pregnant women and babies being brought in by those on maternity leave. Gossip spreads like wildfire around the office and I am quite a private person, so I haven't told many people about our struggles apart from a few close colleagues who are understanding. I am finding it a really difficult environment to be in, and the strain of having to go in and pretend has just got too much for me in the past week.

Does anyone have any tips on how to cope at work?

Thanks

[Mogwai_2]

Joii,

I can totally empathise. Often people don’t deliberately mean to upset / offend, but what I have come to realise is that people geniounely don’t think and lack awareness. I’ve had plenty people show me / send me their scan pics when close friends and my own sister haven’t done this to me. I know how upsetting it is.

I don’t know if I have any silver bullet to help you I’m afraid, but I want you to know you’re not alone.

I kept my fertility battles to myself from a work perspective too, and found solace in working from home when I could. I don’t know if this is an option for you?

From my experience it didn’t get easier, but I did get better at dealing with how I felt.

Maybe others can offer some better advice - perhaps confiding in someone at work or seeking counciling may help.

Sending you a big hug - it is a truly torchorous situation. X

[Hidden in reply to Mogwai_2]

Thanks so much Mogwai_2 - it does help to know I am not alone.

I think working from home sometimes would really help. I have asked my managers whether I can work from home one day a week and been open about the fact that being in the office is really affecting my mental health due to the triggers. So I hope they will say yes.

I was also considering asking to to reduce my hours, but we can't really afford that and the last thing I want to do is add more pressure to us at this time.

Thank-you and I hope you are doing well at the moment x