coping with infertility at a young age - Fertility Network UK

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coping with infertility at a young age

benji93 profile image
16 Replies

Hi everyone,

I am very new here, I just felt like I wanted to share what I am going through with others that understand my situation. I am 24 years old and I will get married in 2 months. I have been trying to conceive for years but it did not work. First the doctors said it was due to PCOS, they gave me medication and still nothing happened. One of my biggest fear was that my tubes were blocked so I did a HSG test and the result showed that both my tubes were blocked. I understand that IVF is now the only option but I still fear that, that also might not work because it is not 100%. My fiance and I are really looking forward to start a family and I am just scared that I will fail him. He has been supportive but as a woman the fear of never being a mother is so scary.

I hope there are people here that can share some of their stories and give me some advice.

Thank you very much

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benji93
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16 Replies

Hi Benji93

Firstly congratulations on your wedding. So exciting. Please do enjoy the whole thing - finding the special someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, the wedding and all the preparation. Such a magical time.

Secondly, with regard to fertility, also congratulations for finding a reason. Many people here have no reason and just have to keep trying.

The good news is that whilst you will most likely need ivf, you are young and therefore the chances of it working are so much higher. In some ways you can look at it as an adventure. I am always fascinated to see the goings on inside - something non-ivfers don't get the opportunity to do.

The most important thing to do is relax, enjoy your wedding and then look forward to getting your family started.

Keep those eggs healthy! 😘

benji93 profile image
benji93 in reply to

Thank you very much Camillage. Now that you said it, it might be one of the most interesting adventures and a good way to know my body better.

I really appreciate it.

in reply to benji93

Just try to enjoy your wedding. And use this place as a support. We are all here fire each other. There are some really great stories of hope, masses of experience and advice. You have definitely come to the right place xx

E_05 profile image
E_05

Welcome to the forum, I to was young when I began this journey - I got married at 22 and then it wasn’t long after I was referred to the fertility clinic. I would say don’t let people tell you ‘your young, you’ve got plenty of time’ you know you want a family and it’s good in a way that you have answers to what is wrong. Yes IVF is demanding and comes with no certainties but it also gives hope to having a baby. Have they not tried clearing your tubes?

I hope you have an amazing wedding day and enjoy every minute, please never think your failing anyone - you and your fiancé are in this together you become the strongest team dealing with infertility xx

Rachwithers profile image
Rachwithers

Hi lovely. Congratulations on your wedding, the day goes so quickly so enjoy it as much as you can, savour every moment! I am 25 now, was married at 22, and we have been ttc for the last 3 years. I was told for so long that ‘you’re so young, don’t understand why you’re worried about it, just relax and it will happen’ to the point that I stopped going to the drs about it or talking to anyone as I felt I was making a fuss. However I became very anxious and even slipped into depression about it all so went to the drs one last time, a lovely dr saw me and referred us to the infertility clinic. Since then, we’ve had counselling, and begin ivf in April due to me having a unicornuate uterus and only one tube. I’m glad I kept pestering the drs! Yes we’re young which is a bonus for fertility treatment being more likely to be successful but that does not discredit the feelings of guilt and grief that you are experiencing.

I wish you so much luck with everything xx

sanchia46 profile image
sanchia46

The good thing is you know the reason for your infertility. And as others have said you are below the age of 35, so ivf has a much higher success rate. Have you gone to your doctor to ask to be referred to a fertility unit?

benji93 profile image
benji93 in reply to sanchia46

Yes the Dr. referred me to a fertility unit at the hospital, now I just have to mentally prepare myself to go through the process. It's the fear of what if this is also another dead end.

sanchia46 profile image
sanchia46 in reply to benji93

How many ivf cycles will they give you? Do you know?

Rachwithers profile image
Rachwithers

And I asked my husband, when we found out about my womb, if he wanted to leave. No grudges, he didn’t know what he was getting into and I felt so guilty that I may not be able to make him a dad, especially as he’d be so great! And he said something really poignant...he said, ‘I love you and I want a baby with you. I’d rather not have a baby than be with anyone else.’

I’m sure your fiancé feels the same way 😘

benji93 profile image
benji93 in reply to Rachwithers

Thank you very much for sharing. I'm looking forward to hear about your ivf journey. I wish the best of luck for both of you as well.

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Rachwithers

Love this! My husband is exactly the same, I often said to him you don’t have to go through this, you can go and have a baby easily. He always says the same ‘it’s you I want to be with and have living children with (we’ve had 2 MMC) I don’t want anyone else’. Infertility takes a lot from you but it makes you the strongest team xx

Tezzabell86 profile image
Tezzabell86

Congratulations on your forthcoming wedding and enjoy your day. I’m currently planning my wedding which will be 02/02/2020 and I have been with my fiancé for almost 6 years now. I met him when I was 26. And we had been ttc for a year and a half when I went to the doctors in January 2017. And the doctor referred me to the fertility clinic. And when I had my first appointment they did an internal scan and they weren’t happy with the amount of follicles in my ovaries (I was 30 at the time as I only turned 31 last October and I saw them in April 2017) so I had a AMH blood test done and it turns out I have a low egg count for my age. For someone of my age the average egg count is around 19.7 whereas mine was 6.1 and I had further tests done and also turned out I wasn’t ovulating either. So IVF was the only option. And we started injections on 21st October 2017 our 5 year anniversary and I’m now 18 weeks pregnant after our first attempt on IVF xxx

Rubidge profile image
Rubidge

Hello and welcome :)

Congratulations on your wedding, have a lovely day and enjoy every second!

Just briefly ill tell you my story as its sort of the same as yourself, myself and my partner have now been together 7 years this Christmas, in 2012 we had an ectopic pregnancy where they had to remove my right tube. We then recovered from that and carried on as normal, a few years went past and still nothing so i started looking into it and then found out my left tube was blocked and we found out IVF was the only option, i was 22 at the time i found this information out. Im now 23 and 27 weeks pregnant today thanks to IVF which thankfully worked first time for us.

bets of luck for the future and i hope you get your happy family unit :) xx

Hey dear. Stop worrying about it. I am sure everything will get settled. You just have to believe in it. Have faith that things will get better soon. Through IUI I achieved pregnancy. You need to feel optimistic. I had several of these cysts when I conceived my baby. I hope IVF will be beneficial to you. So stay hopeful.

Hey dear. Stop worrying about it. I am sure everything will get settled. You just have to believe in it. Have faith that things will get better soon. Through IUI I achieved pregnancy. You need to feel optimistic. I had several of these cysts when I conceived my baby. I hope IVF will be beneficial to you. So stay hopeful.

cathy-martha profile image
cathy-martha

Definitely, You must be scared. It is good to see that your fiance is supportive. He is in this thing with you. Also, dear when you are thinking to start a treatment. You should remain positive and do not think of negative aspects. It will your mind more conflicted. Also, thinking about the cons will make your mind more confused. Just think of all the positive aspects. Look on the bright side of the treatment. Because it will definitely give its result at the right time. You just have to remain hopeful and calm. Don't think at all that you are not going to be a mother. This whole process requires patience. All the prayers and best wishes for you dear. Things are going to be great for you. You will soon become a blessed mother.

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