Coping stategies

Hi lovely ladies,

I wanted to ask how you are all doing in the run up to Christmas and how you cope with this. Having just completed a failed ivf cycle (3 years post ttc) I'm finding it super difficult this week. Two ladies in my office announced their pregnancies this week and it's triggered something deep in me, feeling really tearful and guilty for not being able to express my happiness for them properly. Genuinely thought I was doing fine until the announcements and chat around the office this week. Feeling scared about spending time with friends and family now next week. Have any of you experienced similar? Any tips on how to get past this pain and sadness?

Thank you and sending love and best wished to you all on your journeys x

11 Replies

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  • im on same wave length as you we had a failed attempy in september and at the minute my manager and a friend told me they were pregnant last week. ive found it bit hard and been really jealous. ive had little chat with them both and said im happy for you even if i cant show it right now and asked if they would not talk to me as much about there progress but that in my own way using my hobby could i make them something to show i do care and happy for them but in my own way. by cross stitching something for the new baby. one was a little unsure with me for few days but came round to idea and found a pattern she liked.

  • Hey Hun I'm like you I had a failed cycle this month and dreading visiting two new borns that arrived this weekend. I can't be bothered to go visit and I know that sounds harsh but all my husband and I get asked is when were having kids. I don't know how to deal with this either. I thought I was fine to but then it hits me that we used up all our goes on NHS and we have to self fund the next cycle. I'm just lost really ATM. My husband and I have booked a holiday but what I really want for my 30th next year is a baby :( x

  • Hello dear. Also at my work manager told us she is pregnant. I did feel very sad. Iwas on 2ww n tested yesterday n came bk what i didnt want to see so feel extremely down this week is going so slowwwwwww. Im just waiting for af to come on chritmas day that was my test date but ive already tested twice n both time bfn. Im not going to test now. To be honest to keep me going ive been going for walks.

  • Taking time out n going for long walks has helped me be positive n back on track didfferent things help people different way i hope u find urs and best wishes for u sweetheart.xx

  • Hello misses_p I feel your pain..its so hard to be surrounded by the people we know or work colleagues who may not have even contemplated children yet are now pregnant. It's hard not to feel sad and a bit jealous because this is what we also long for. Sending you lots of love xx

  • It's funny how it can just hit you out of nowhere! !xx

  • I'm so sorry for what you're going through misses_p, my heart goes out to everyone going through this, especially at what should be such a joyous time of year. After our first cycle of ivf ended in an early miscarriage of my first pregnancy in september, we await our second round in January and I too am not coping well. The things that help me are taking walks, bubble baths with candles and relaxation/mediation/music on YouTube and accupuncture. I hope the festive season brings us closer to our dreams. Luck and love xx

  • Hi. We have just had a failed iui. We were supposed to do a test xmas eve however cane on period on sunday so the dream was over. We are feeling far from christmasy and I guess bitter and grumpy. Ive been told its not christmas' fault! I didnt realise I could offend christmas. We ve been told that we shouldnt feel guilty but its easier said than done. If you think theres acertain tension between you then it might be worth saying something in private. I know people want to give positive advise but I think you have to be angry and let yourself feel what ever it is before you can come out the other side and start to feel positively again.

  • Totally know how you feel. All I wanted for Xmas was to be pregnant after our first Icsi failed in October. I kind of feel like cancelling Xmas and I too have to visit a newborn over the hols. I have decided to try to be jolly and enjoy and relax as this be our last month to try to conceive naturally before beginning Ivf treadmill again in new year. My husband and I are going to try to not talk about ivf all hols and relax, drink, eat and hopefully be merry. We booked a holiday for start of new year too. Sending everyone loving hugs xx

  • Thanks everyone, it's so hard, much harder than you prepare for beforehand I think. I'm so sorry for everyone going through this, especially as it's such a private personal thing so difficult to talk about with others. Thanks for being on here though and sharing you thoughts and experiences. It really helps to read your words. Wishing all you wonderful strong ladies a great Christmas and best hopes for 2017 xx

  • Christmas was the second worst time of year for me (second to Mothers Day). I did a short video on what I've learnt and how to survive Christmas:


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