Looking for some support please..

[jacki81]

Hi folks

I'm new here but I'm hoping to find some support from people in a similar boat.

My husband and I have been trying for 3 years for a baby. I am 37 and he is 40 and we have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility. He has a good count and motility but the morphology was on the low side (it has since improved and we have been told it is nothing to be concerned about).

Last July we were referred for treatment at our local clinic and we started IUI in November and unfortuantely it failed. I was then referred to another clinic because ours was to stop NHS treatment the following month. It's a shame because there was also a councellor at that clinic and there isn't at the new one, and I really feel like she would be helpful!

In April the new clinic sent me to have a laproscopy, which came back with the all clear and today I went for my follow up at the clinic. In a way I'm really pleased that they didn't find any fibroids or endometriosis, and that my tubes are clear, but as there is no answer I am still left scratcing my head. I've been doing all of the usual things that drive you crazy, obviously giving up all of the bad, tasty and fun food and drink, exercising more, meditation, yoga, acupuncture and I have been going a bit nuts with my healthy diet for the best part of two years.

We were due to start the next IUI treatment this month but due to a miscommunication at the clinic they don't have me on the system and I've now been told we will have to wait until June, or possibly July if they can't get another SA test in for my husband before hand.

I'm so frustrated with this waiting game they are making us play. I know they are there to help but I feel the stress of it and their system is not helping with our situation! Today my husband phoned the old clinic to ask for some test results to be forwarded on, and they asked him why we even left, as they are still treating NHS after all!

(I am very grateful for the NHS..)

I'm usually a very positive person but there are times when this really gets to me and I find it difficult to cope, and to live a normal life going to work every day. I did have a buddy going through the same things as me however she eventually got pregnant and has other worries of her own now. My husband is so sweet and supportive but it can just be so lonely sometimes can't it?

I'm sorry for the rant. Hopefully some of you will understand!

[Jude6]

Hi there. There’s lots of lovely people on this forum who understand the ups and downs. You’ll find lots of support here 😊

Ive been in treatment for almost a year and it hasn’t been as straight forward as my naive self thought! I’m still learning how to deal with it all 🤷‍♀️

Wishing you all the best and welcome to the group xx

[Waterfall2]

The fertility journey can feel very lonely and frustrating, but this forum is full of wonderful people and advice that will show you that your not alone.

But it sounds like you are doing all good things to help you have the best possible chance.

Best of luck.

[Autumnmoon]

Lots of people here will fully understand and offer support and advice wishing you all the best x

[Drives]

I can totally sympathise with your frustrations. We've moved clinics and had a total nightmare getting test results etc. We've only just started out and feel there's a bumpy road ahead...

Saying that the support and advice on here is amazing! I find it so reassuring to read others stories and experiences. I'm so glad to have stumbled across the forum 😁

Wishing you all the best x

[Hidden]

Hi Jacki, I'm frustrated for you reading your story. You seem so patient and understanding but it's no wonder it's all starting to wear thin. I've found there's a real lack of support from the people and places you'd expect it from, but this forum is a god send. It must have been bitter sweet for you when your friend fell pregnant - wonderful news of course but tough to lose a companion.

I wish I could offer more answers (don't we all!) but I can assure you you've come to the right place xx

[Cooking-Queen20]

Hi jacki81,

I totally feel where you are coming from. My husband and I are in the same situation. Unexplained infertility and I have a low ovarian count.

Our first round beat the odds until the pregnancy test and we felt so lucky and hopeful. Only to come crashing down.

The emotions before and after are non explainable and nothing people can say can change the fact that the process and outcome remain uncertain at every stage.

I personally don’t know when my next round will be as I developed a polyp during round one and that needs to be investigated. I am not yet certain when.

In a world where we want concise answers, certainty and an immediacy, this is one area that brings us back to centre.

I find it particularly hard as I know my friends and family are wondering what we are doing about having a family and whilst I want to talk, by the same token I don’t. It’s a part of me but not all of me.

Let’s keep going! Once upon a time these options were not there, so this is a mamouth step forward! We have options and doing all the right things and keeping the right spirit united with our partners, let’s remeber to enjoy the journey.

You sound in a positive place. Keep it up. Enjoy everyday, keep the faith and only good things can come!

Another buddy in the same boat!

[tessablue]

hey there! how are you? I hope you are doing great. I can relate to your story. as I was TTC too but it was really hard. but I found my husband very supportive. we went for surrogacy. we are a complete family now with two baby boys. I hope you become a mother soon and get to enjoy this beautiful feeling. have a good life!

[jacki81]

Hey everyone, I just wanted to say thank you so much for your replies. It means so much to me that there are other people out there in (or now out) of the same boat.

It's been a bit of a rollercoaster week, hence my delayed reply! After many phonecalls we somehow managed to switch back to our old clinic who were able to fit me in this cycle, so I went for my first ultrasound today.

I'm so pleased that after 6 months of being messed around we are back in an IUI cycle! I have really hoped so much that we would manage it by ourselves which has sort of driven me insane in the process. I'm sure others can relate to that!