Tired and depressed

[coolbreeze111]

I am going through a lot of stress for not getting pregnant. Trying for a baby for nearly 8 years now and getting depressed with every passing day. I just do not know what to do, all of our tests are OK, everything is normal but it is just not happening. I feel jealous of people around me who are pregnant or parents already. I want to hide myself in a corner and never see the world. I do not know where to go, and what to do. I feel like there is wall in front of me or I am in a small dark room and there is no light, no way to get out and..... I do not know what to do. I do meditation every night, I go out with friends, I look a happy woman outside but I am dying inside me

[Autumnmoon]

I'm really sorry you are having such a tough time and of course you see no end in sight maybe you need some professional help from a councillor and continue to do all you can to reduce the stress in your life while trying to find things that can lift your mood hope you have supportive friends and family if so try to reach out to them and let them know how hard it is for you right now instead of struggling to put your happy face on I hope you find some peace and happiness sending love x

[coolbreeze111 in reply to Autumnmoon]

Thanks so much for your message. I would keep trying and see how far I can go

[Sarahmanc]

I’m sorry. It’s so frustrating when they just can’t find anything wrong but it isn’t happening. I don’t know if it’ll be any comfort to you but we had unexplained infertility and we did eventually fall pregnant naturally. It’s one of those irritating cliches but we accepted that it wasn’t going to happen, booked a dream holiday, bought a nice car and that’s when it happened. I really hope it happens for you soon xx

[coolbreeze111 in reply to Sarahmanc]

Thank you Sarah. I so much wish it would happen to me as well. I just want to hear that news. But it seems far far away

[Hidden]

Sending you a big hug coolbreeze111. This is such a tough journey and one that people don’t talk about much. Please think about seeing a counsellor- your clinic should have one attached or see your GP. You don’t have to go through this alone. I’m sure. DianeArnold would agree. Be kind to yourself. Please let us know how you get on. Xxx

[coolbreeze111 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks very much Zoe. I really need an assurance right now. I have never been a weak woman but now I'm losing hope. I feel like there is nothing in life for me. Every morning I have to push myself to get our of bed, I sit down and keep seated forever. I wish a miracle would happen. This thing is breaking me inside. I just don't know which way to go, what to do.....

[Hidden in reply to coolbreeze111]

You are not weak to feel this way. It is completely understandable. You are grieving. You haven’t mentioned whether you have had any treatment/IVF. I hope that you feel able to make an appointment with your GP to find out what options are available for you.xx

[coolbreeze111 in reply to Hidden]

IVF option is available but my husband and in laws aren't in favour of IVF. I have tried my best to convince them but nothing positive. I don't want to push him too much. My brain is closed now, will go back to GP and see how else they could help me out. People get married and fall pregnant in no time, and I just don't know what have I done to deserve this. I so much want to look into my body and find out what's stopping me

I can't express how horrible and helpless I feel

[Hidden in reply to coolbreeze111]

There are less invasive forms of fertility treatment. For example you can take a tablet called clomid and then just try naturally but this has to be done at the fertility clinic. There are also some other tests that the clinic can do before IVF.

Focus on getting help to feel better soon and then you might feel up to having a big conversation with your husband. Or make an appointment for both of you so he can hear that fertility treatment is needed after 8 years of trying (its normally recommended after 2 years). Good luck xx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi coolbreeze111. So sorry to read that you are so down at the moment. Have you spoken to your GP to explain how you feel. He/she may be able to fix you up with some counselling to help you. There is a charity called the British Infertility Councelling Association who deal with all fertility problems and their relationships. There is a charge, but do have a look at their website bica.net and see what you think. Just for know, I would choose who you spend time with, and perhaps confide in one close friend or relative. I realise you’ve been trying for a baby a long time, but I do hope there is still some treatment available for you. Thinking of you. Diane

[coolbreeze111 in reply to DianeArnold]

Hi Diane thanks so much for writing back to me. I don't have words to say thanks, you don't know how much do these little messages mean to me.

I will try what you suggested but in your last sentence you said that there is still some treatment available, please elaborate this. I will do anything.... please help me. Help me to get out of this darkness

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK in reply to coolbreeze111]

If you haven’t been referred to a fertility specialist, then ask your GP to do so. No idea if you have had any treatment at all, but hopefully you can be referred back. All depends what your diagnosis is. Good luck! Diane

[daydreamer89]

So sorry your having such a tough time. I know exactly how you feel. I started to question how can they have a Baby? What have I done so wrong to deserve all this? I felt lonely, bitter and Every time I see a new born baby I would fill up with tears! Please do not give up hope, many times I wanted to curl up and never go out but after 11 years ttc I am currently 9 weeks pregnant with my miracle rainbow baby. Your stronger than you think to of faced and carried on after 8 gruelling years. My fingers are crossed that your time will soon come 😘 x

[Jenjen84]

Hello coolbreeze111,

Sorry to hear your feeling so low.. Its a tough journey that seems so unfair when as you say, dreams come true so easily for others..

I’m going through the same kind of depression as you at the minute and decided yesterday that enough is enough and I need professional help so have referred myself to a psychotherapist in my local area.. Haven’t been accepted yet (it’s on the nhs so waiting to hear back) if I don’t get accepted for free I will pay for treatment as I can’t imagine going through more years feeling so low.. Maybe go to your GP and see what help there is available with dealing with this?

You are incredibly strong to have been going down this road for 8 years on your own, maybe it’s time to open up and get some help?

Wishing you all the best in your journey and hope you find some much needed light soon xxx

[coolbreeze111]

Thanks Rennyjen. I am glad I wrote it up in this forum and met with such lovely people. Every single encouraging word makes a difference. Thank you so much for taking time and writing back to me. It means alot. I will get back to my GP and see if she could do the same for me.

[Faithful06]

I completely understand how you feel. It’s been nearly 12 years for us. At one point I was morbidly obese and now have lost over 8st. After 2 rounds on IVF we have our very first ever positive but it sadly ended on miscarriage. We are going through our 3rd and what I consider our last cycle. I feel quite anxious and depressed and feel like it won’t work this time. We must keep hope. I will speak to the in-house counsellor as well.

Big hugs to you lovely.