2ww - feeling impatient and depressed.

[Lilac12]

Hi ladies,

So my official 2ww started on friday just gone. I am currently 2dp4dt. I have a loooong way to go for test date and i don't intend on testing early. Over the years i have seen so many negative tests and each test has broken me and killed a little part of me. I honestly can't ever imagine seeing a positive result now. I'm scared to see another negative, this negative will be worse than all the other negatives i've had. I am so sure this cycle won't work. I know for most people it takes a few transfers, and considering i have endometriosis the chances are a little lower for me. I've already started getting period cramps, and i'm sure my period will come on within the week. Considering it's a 4 day embryo, it's too early to be getting implantation cramping, and i'm sure this is period pain. So i've mentally prepared myself that this won't be the cycle that will work while holding a little hope it might, and seeing that negative will crush that hope.

How do you ladies deal with the 2ww? And how have you picked yourself up after a negative and continued on? I'm trying to stay positive because this negative won't mean it'll never happen, i am lucky to have a lot going for me so i shouldn't be complaining really. But this process is just so mentally draining.

[Sunshineraye]

Aww hun, it’s so hard and it doesn’t stop. I thought once I got my BFP I would be on cloud 9 and everything would be better but I was on cloud 9 for a few hours and since then it’s just turned into more worry and depression. I’ve done about 15 tests since OTD all Vary in colour, have become obsessed. Nothing about this journey is easy. My 2ww I went for walks ect and tested day 7. I also have endo, my first didn’t work but this time I had two transferred. I also said if this one didn’t work I will keep going but if I see tomorrow at my scan that nothing is viable I’m not sure I will continue for a while.

I wish u all the best xx

[Lilac12 in reply to Sunshineraye]

thank you so much for your reply. I've been feeling so down, so taken a few days off the forum. But i've prepared myself for the worst while hoping for the best. Bring it all on. Hope your scan went well and wishing you lots of luck in your journey x

[Jonesjp]

Hi hunny the 2WW does feel like it goes on for ever!!! But I used to just try and fully concentrate on one day at a time and half way through break it with something like going for a meal or cinema etc but there’s no really good way to get through it, but wishing you all the luck in the world 😘

[Lilac12 in reply to Jonesjp]

Yes i've been trying to keep my mind busy. The 2ww is the worst! x

[lc3055]

I had my FET on Saturday and this was our second transfer. The first I was devastated with the negative and questioned whether I could do it all again but this time I feel a bit more calm which is weird. It might not work first time and it’s really hard to try and not micro analyse every little feeling but I genuinely think you can’t predict what will happen with this. Just do what works for you! Good luck! Xxx

[Lilac12 in reply to lc3055]

Thanks for replying hun. Wishing you all the best for your second transfer and hoping this one sticks for you. I'm feeling loads better now and taken time out to just relax and not overanalyse everything x

[Love4spitz]

Hi I’m on 2dp7dt and this morning felt a little down. Since this is my second attempt I can relate to your feelings.

The first time I got a negative I just told myself that perhaps the embryo was not healthy and didn’t implant, perhaps in the long run I was saved from more heartache and pain. I had a good cry but found exercising to be a great distraction. Everyone has different coping mechanisms. If you perhaps can go for a drive or visit somewhere you like, a park perhaps just to have a change of scenery. I have downloaded an app called Breethe, this has really helped me meditate and relax. I have a week to wait since I did a 7 day transfer, trying my best to stay positive. I hope I could help x

[Lilac12 in reply to Love4spitz]

Thank you for your reply. Feeling deflated again today. Did a test today 7dp4dt and it was a negative. Not even a shadow. Had a cry, but i know it still is early to be testing. I just know this cycle hasn't worked. Me and my husband have agreed to go away for the week somewhere nice before commencing with our FET.

I'll check that app out. Yes you did help. Always helps when you hear people going/gone through the same. In daily life you're just alone in this, but on here you're not.

Wishing you lots and lots of luck in this 2ww. I hope this is the one that sticks for you X

[Love4spitz in reply to Lilac12]

Hi

It’s really good to let out all your emotions. I hope you are feeling better.

How soon are you able to do your test? There is still hope... keep distracted.

You are lucky you can get away.. I’m stuck on an island which is not close to anywhere and it’s really expensive to fly out.. Netflix is my friend these days.

Thank you for your wishes.

X

[Lilac12 in reply to Love4spitz]

I'm feeling loads better now. I started my period on sunday, 4 days before test day. I've managed to pick myself up and just carry on. Gosh, what an incredible journey this is. I had not comprehended that it would be this draining. Me and hubby are flying out next week for a lovely week in the sun before i come back and start this crazy journey again.

wishing you lots of luck hun xx