When to stop??

[Just_starting_out]

Hi out there!

Struggling again. Wondering if it’s time to stop ivf. It’s just not working and the heartache and emotional stress is getting to me. Started first attempt just before Christmas but had to abandon as lining never got thin enough. Periods have now refused to start again and provera doesn’t appear to be working. Something isn’t right although they assure me it’s just stress and not the menopause. Partner is being very supportive but I feel like I’m defective! He gets that I’m withdrawing emotionally from the process to protect myself, but when is enough enough? How long do we keep trying? Can’t help thinking this could get much worse, and fundamentally yes we are childless, but we’re happy. What next??

[genten]

Hi,

Sorry your feeling this way.

I can't advise you what to do going forward but I think you should just take your time and try to take the pressure off yourself and see how you feel in a few weeks or months. I think it's natural that you feel like withdrawing, I've been there and wanted to give up in the past but I managed to snap out of it and I know it's something I want to continue with but we're all in different places. I know that one way or another I will have a child and it's that hope that keeps me going.

Take some time out for yourself. Whatever you decide, I'm wishing you lots of luck and sending a hug xx

[Just_starting_out in reply to genten]

Thank you for your lovely words.

Hug was appreciated. Sending one back and also wishing you loads of luck on your journey xx

[genten in reply to Just_starting_out]

Aww you are welcome.

Thank you so much 💗

[-noodles-]

sorry you’re having a shitty time - sending a big hug.

i ask myself the same all the time. some days i think i quite like our lives as they are - going to the pub, nice holidays, no responsibilities. other days the yearning to be pregnant is so overwhelming i think the sadness will never pass.

have you had counselling or tried alternative therapies? i found reflexology helped me confront the loss of my 2 failed cycles - i didn’t even realise i was grieving.

got myself into a bit of a better head space before christmas & have totally surprised myself for going for a third round.

you have overcome so much to get where you are today, i know it’s all-consuming, but don’t give up just yet. we are behind you.

sending love & light ✨💕✨

[Just_starting_out in reply to -noodles-]

Thank you for your kind words. Sounds like you’d had a really rough time. Hope all goes well this time 💕

I’ve tried counselling but struggled, the message I took away (potentially wrongly) was don’t come back until after implantation. Think I probably need to follow it up. I’m up for reflexology and might see what’s available near us. Thank you and good luck, it’s very comforting to know there are others out there x

[E_05]

Sorry your feeling like this but it’s totally understandable, I’ve had a few times where I’ve felt like enough is enough but have talked things through and taken a bit of time to rebuild. Maybe you could just a bit of time out of treatment before you make any decisions, have you spoken to a counsellor? I hope in time you decide what’s right for you xx

[Just_starting_out in reply to E_05]

Thank you. Time isn’t a bad plan. We’ve had one counselling appointments but I suspect I need more. Think I need to follow it up. Hope all goes well for you x

[sanchia46]

How many attempts have you had? The recommended plan for people starting out with ivf is to prepare for three fresh cycles as only 1/3 of women are successful on their first attempt. Not easy I know

financially, emotionally or physically.

[Just_starting_out in reply to sanchia46]

Hi, that’s a hard question to answer. We are still on first cycle officially. We had to abandon the first attempt as my body didn’t respond to the down regulation medication appropriately. So didn’t get very far despite waiting weeks in the hope I’d get there. Really struggled when they told us it was pointless continuing as it wouldn’t lead to a viable pregnancy.

Plan b was to try a short protocol instead But now my body is refusing to bleed despite taking provera to force it. Got to wait until Friday but I can’t see anything happening so I think we are pretty stuck. Not sure what happens next and not sure I can mentally continue. I’m driving myself mad convincing myself something is wrong with me! Nutty and not helpful. Reckon the advise to see a counsellor is probably a good idea. Thanks for your reply x