Infertility trolls

[Elizabeth86]

Excuse the rant ladies but... I think I’ve just been sucked in to another troll. I seriously can’t get my head around why the F people would come on here to take the P?! I realise these people are not worth my frustration but it makes me so sad that such morons exist! I came off Facebook to not see ridiculous posts that are upsetting and this space felt so safe and supportive until yesterday’s ‘I want to use my ex’s sperm’ and today’s repeat offender of. ‘I’ve missed my period what could it mean?’ - anyone else find themselves fuming with low lives trolling vulnerable people?!

[Kempton]

The good news is that the post from yesterday got deleted. I reported and I'm sure a few others did too.

It is a shame these people come here to take the p. Just ignore stupid posts and keep on taking comfort from people who really want to help you and share their experiences.

[Lilli79]

I feel your pain, it's ridiculous really. The thing that worries me is I think the sperm one yesterday was for real!! 😕 Honestly there are some crazy people in the world. It's a shame cos it often makes me read some posts (especially the long life story type posts) and think they're all fake. And then some poor person looking for support is ignored. The I missed my period person has posted the same question 3 times. I don't even understand the point of their post. If they were really worried they'd just go to their GP. Sorry even longer response rant! Lol! xx

[Amanda86]

They’re infuriating!! Clearly they have very sad life’s, it’s pathetic! Xxx

[Hidden]

There have been so many over the last year, which is why I don't log on as much now - because i get really irritated by it.

Some of them are quite subtle. A clue to some is that they come up with quite weird and bossy sounding answers to stuff (and they've often only joined the network that day), and others are the odd emotional stuff that always seem a bit far fetched. They never seem to be going to treatment.

The the mentioning of ukraine and elsewhere. Its a combo of spamming and some sickos just taking the ****

I report all suspicious posts. xx

[Tugsgirl in reply to Hidden]

Another one is where they have a “friend”...... xx

[AllWeNeedIsluv]

Don't let them get to you hun, people with no life's I feel that get one weird thrill out if what they're doing advertising taking the p etc. I think the I want my exs sperm actually was real she just has a, warped mind and doesn't know the meaning of marriage one bit. You don't let the minority take over hun let the forum do it's job and get the support you need and offer to those you feel you want too. Big hugs hun 💗🤗😘

[TTCs]

Ugh its so irritating! Taking away from the genuine posts that are on here for us people seeking support. How people seek enjoyment never mind find the time for trolling is beyond me! We will have to do our best to ignore / report 💞xx

[Hidden]

I know it's so weird why can't they just leave us alone with our struggle as if it's not hard enough!!!! Us warriors have to stick together xxx

[Cinderella5]

Yes it's so flipping annoying. If I see anything dodgy then I juat report it and dont reply. Sad people with nothing better to do....losers!!xx

[Violet5451]

Hey Elizabeth.

I completely agree. The thing I love about this forum is that it is a safe place and there is usually none of the crap you get on other places. I hope it stops soon. People are idiots. Can you block people from your feed?

The one that got me the other day was “I’ve been trying for 5 months and haven’t caught” and the “ I don’t know what I would do if I am infertile”.

Xxx

[Elizabeth86]

I feel bad about how irritable this post sounds it’s just been a bad couple of days and these posts infuriated me! I can’t even comprehend if the ex’s sperm one was an actual thing!! My sadness is deep in the fact I would love nothing more than to see the man I love be a father to our child. Must remember the positives here far outweigh the negative! Thanks for sharing your frustration and not thinking I’m a mad woman!! Xxx

[Lilli79 in reply to Elizabeth86]

Don't worry, we don't think you're a mad woman. I remember last year in particular someone posted something along the lines of 'I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend and now I'm scared I'm pregnant...' I think they got a few choice responses about how insensitive to post this in a fertility forum where we were all really struggling to conceive. In some ways you can ignore the spammers, but people who post things like this just piss me off. That's why I get a little annoyed with the 'I missed my period' person! 😕

[Elizabeth86 in reply to Lilli79]

I know what you mean! It’s just so odd that people even consider sitting there and going on a fertility forum to write this stuff.. x

[Kari55]

It is very sad to see trolling here, I didn’t expect it. Impossible to understand what motivates these people.

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

I wish it were possible to block certain people! The report button is good though, and the moderators do act quickly. I certainly shan’t be going to a clinic in Ukraine... not that I was ever considering it but it’s definitely made me determined not to!

I’ve been lucky enough not to have one of those really weird insensitive replies to any of my posts but I feel really bad when I see them, they must make the original poster upset.

[Kempton in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Yes. I've had a few insensitive responses to posts I've written and it made me feel a bit insecure about responding or posting again. I would have liked to block the person or stop them from seeing my posts but I don't think it's possible.

[Elizabeth86 in reply to Kempton]

Yep I’ve had the Ukraine one which I do think has now been deleted after I reported it. The report button does seem to have prompt action which is great! It’s the thought of people sat there intending hurt - so weird! X

[StephyBuch in reply to Kempton]

Hey Kempton, I'm so sorry you've had to face those responses. Some people are like that - insensitive - you can't help it really. A few days back I spotted a lady saying the troubled woman that they have been only trying 8 months what's the hurry... she should consider treatment when it's more than a year. Now that was rude really! None of really know much about her problems or if she is in a rush and certainly the post could have had used better words to explain the same thing.

[StephyBuch in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

You should be glad you heard about Ukraine and didn't read about surrogacy programs in India! Not only the litigations are weird (we've been considering reproductive tourism before my twins) - If you choose surrogacy you can't include a donor programme (one biological link is necessary everywhere but they ask for both parents). Now, thankfully they have banned it totally for foreigner couples... which at least keep some of the trolls away I believe.

[Elizabeth86 in reply to StephyBuch]

Oh wow, it’s such a shame isn’t it? I need to just not respond if a post seems a bit odd I think... xx

[StephyBuch in reply to Elizabeth86]

I do the same... as suggested ignoring is a bliss sometimes. Well, unlike you bold ladies I even refrain from voicing against some mean post to someone else ... like the one judgemental lady who simply declared 8 months TTC isn't enough to be worried about ( that's not just insensitive but insane too). My old ID (the one I used when I got pregnant with my twins) has been blocked owing to a similar incident. When I logged back in 6 months back some arguments were going on against the sharing of scan pics and I happened to say to some lady (old and active user I presume and I haven't been using my ID for quite long) that why she is being so mean and what it takes to be happy in other's success.... after all, we can find hope in any positive stories. She fought with me over some exchanged comments and the next thing I know my stephiniee ID was gone for good. So, now I see anything amiss ... I silently report and walk past it and move onto other comments.

[Elizabeth86 in reply to StephyBuch]

That sounds so awful I am so sorry to hear you had that experience when you came looking for support. I wonder if admin just delete any reported account without actually looking into it?? What a shame! I’m glad you came back and hope you have a more supportive experience this time! There is no need for rudeness on these forums but then infertility doesn’t just happen to polite people.. xx

[StephyBuch in reply to Elizabeth86]

Thank you so much! I came back because I knew (having used it before) this forum has supportive women too, and probably more in numbers than the insensitive people. And honestly at 43 with several tries (before my twins) one gets some knowledge to be able to help others too. I'd love to give that same feel to someone else that I received when I first came here looking for a place where people would understand what I'm going through, won't judge, won't. Love you all lovely ladies!

[Elizabeth86 in reply to StephyBuch]

Going through my first round of ivf I am so so grateful for women like you and for this forum! So thank you 😘 xx

[StephyBuch]

Oh, I reported that too. God knows what these people think when they write these kinds of stupid posts - you can get the real picture in the blink of an eye. The post is deleted now and probably that ID blocked too. Anyway, I know you're frustrated - infertility struggle isn't easy and you become less tolerant of any such ridiculous incident but it's best for you to shake it off. Relax!! Sometimes ignoring is a bliss, read what you need to know and move on - I do the same. I find a lame post I just skip it and move onto someone who really needs some help. Take care!

[Hampshiregal]

I agree with you Elizabeth86. I hardly ever come on here and have thought many times of signing off. I used to spend a lot of time reporting obvious spammers/fakers/sales people who'd been operating on the site for months and even years! I received some very rude and hurtful messages from admin saying that I was encouraging them, when I tried to highlight them so that others would stop being sucked in. Not sure how saying, 'this post has been reported' encourages anyone? Then my post would be immediately deleted and the spam left.

If I think the post is a bit odd, then I don't respond. Even if I think it's genuine, I always look at how long they've been on the forum and their previous posts before responding.

[Elizabeth86 in reply to Hampshiregal]

What a shame that you had that response from admin? I think i’ll Take your advice and if in doubt not respond. I’ve found this place so helpful I want to make sure I also respond to people but your right if it looks odd i’ll move on X

[Cinderella5 in reply to Hampshiregal]

Hey You, your cat post still makes me laugh out loud to this day!!😂😂😂😂 I'm sorry you got some grief for saying you'd reported stuff. Hope you're doing well!!

Ps if anyone wants a laugh then check out Hampshire gals previous posts!!xxx

[Elizabeth86 in reply to Cinderella5]

Thanks for the recommendation! 😂 loved it!! Wish I’d had that attitude before posting this rant! Xx

[Dunla in reply to Cinderella5]

I just went and had a look at the cat post. So funny, I needed a laugh 😊

[Fredaflintstone in reply to Hampshiregal]

Hampshire gal used to post some v funny posts in response to the fake clinic advertising ones. Need some laughs every now and then xxx

[jenni_love]

hey!! you are so damn right woman! these low lives don't have a heart.How low could you even go to troll about somebody's health and about the natural things we are going through which was not even our own fault.They have a hole inside that is never going to fill in I am sure.They cannot imagine the pain and the hard time we are going through and they satisfy their selves with joking about others.I am 40 years old and still not pregnant.Tried a lot of things.Name it and I have been through that procedure.Been through a lot sister and even people like them as well.You will meet them at every corner and all you have to do is to show them your back.They do not deserve any worse treatment than that.You must stay strong in front of them.Don't ever show them your weakness or that their words are causing you any kind of harm ever.Best of luck girls.Stay strong.

[Hidden]

I'm suspicious of a particular person at the moment....I don't understand what they get out of it. I'm always really wary of new posts which is a shame as a person in need could be missing out on support and advice x

[jenifercox06]

Ohh God this is not nice. This is really bad. I am so against this. This is not a way to treat someone. These things have nothing to troll about. What was the other person thinking while making the joke about such crucial things. It's really not worth it. I am so sorry about the condition that you suffered. I think you should report this. I am really angry right now about this. It's nothing to make joke about. Someone's life is depending upon it. People don't understand. It's really serious. We are here to help so we should just help.