secondary infertility - where do I fit in?

[Cassie_56]

Hi all,

Hope you are all well. Im looking back into IVF after having my son a couple of years ago. He was the result of IVF ICSI after many years of trying. Im not quite sure where to turn for support this time round - it seems Primary fertility networks and groups are closed to me but I don’t feel I fit into secondary fertility groups. I’ve read that secondary fertility is when you’ve had a previous natural pregnancy and childbirth and this seems to be the case with posters in those groups.

So is there a name for people who have a child through IVF but still need IVF?

Hope this post doesn’t upset anyone - not trying to undermine those with primary fertility. I know how heartbreaking, lonely and exhausting it is.

[HedgehogMad]

Hello lovely, I believe you would still come under the category of primary infertility, having needed treatment to have your first child. There are women on this forum with both primary and secondary infertility, all of us needing fertility treatment in some shape or form. I hope you will find it a supportive community - we all understand how traumatic this journey is xxx

[Cassie_56 in reply to HedgehogMad]

thank you HedgehogMad i definitely got amazing support from this network the first time round and was so grateful to everyone on here. I’ve tried reaching out to another group recently but my post wasn’t allowed as the group was for primary fertility only. I felt a little excluded tbh and like my previous experience counted for nothing when I still carry those scars. I don’t know, maybe I’m being too sensitive!

[Purpledoggy]

I think there are a number of ladies on here in your situation, trying for an IVF sibling. I don’t think anyone will begrudge you having a first one especially through IVF after a long struggle 😊 I was/am in your shoes, currently pregnant with IVF baby 2. I think the main thing I wanted to be mindful of when I came back for support the second time is that it just isn’t the same experience trying for the second. I saw one or two posts when I was trying for the first going on a bit about how the second was much more difficult emotionally and found that rather insensitive. So I can totally see why you might feel you don’t fit in anywhere, but I think as long as you’re mindful of the audience here then you’re definitely in the right place xx

[McQueeny]

hello. There are quite a few of us on here who had our first child through IVF and now on the journey again to have our second…. This is a great community for all those struggling with fertility, even if you did have success in the past.

I understand the desire to be sensitive when talking about infertility when you do have a child, especially with those still battling to get their first. But this journey is incredibly hard even the second time around…. 😖

Good luck 🤞 🤞

[PenguinBlue]

hello, I wouldn’t worry about posting in this community - everyone is always so kind and understanding no matter the circumstances. I feel still welcome and have a lot of anxiousness and worry in my second pregnancy after ttc for 2.5 years, 2 failed ivf cycles and a natural pregnancy. I try to be sensitive about how I have post or ask questions but this forum is very welcoming. Good luck for your journey to a sibling x

[Hidden]

Hi,

Fertility Network also has a UK support group for those experiencing Secondary Infertility. Secondary Infertility simply means that you are struggling to conceive your 2nd child, not everyone with Secondary Infertility has struggled both times.

To join the private Facebook group:

facebook.com/groups/seconda...

Anyone can search on Facebook and find our Secondary Infertility Group but only members can see who is in the group and what is posted.

If you are not on Facebook and want to join the next Zoom support call or have any questions about the group please email our lovely volunteer at [e-mail]

[Kaylon]

Hi Cassie, I have had both my children via IVF ICSI. In fact they're from the same egg collection so are technically twins. I also felt a bit apprehensive coming back on here for my second child but our issues are such that a natural conception is near impossible so we would need fertility treatment for any future children. Wishing you good luck and lots of baby dust for your next try xxx