Feeling very low after egg collection cancellation and the way I was treated at the clinic

[petitelc]

Hi guys, I am delighted to read a lot of success stories on here and I am thrilled for everyone. I am new to the community and I would really appreciate any support and advice at the moment as I am feeling so low. There are some lovely supportive people on here!

I have just been going through my first IVF cycle only to have the egg collection cancelled while I was in the theatre on Friday (30th June). I was all prepped and I was told that I had already ovulated so it was too late. It was completely devastating and was given no explanation apart from it happens, but it's very rare. They said I needed to make a quick decision as they may as well do IUI once they had treated other patients, as it's kind of worth a go even though they had no clue when I had ovulated. I had to walk out of the theatre whilst trying to hold it together and everyone watching, it was so difficult.

I wasn't at all prepared for this and to be honest I felt very shoved into a corner to make a decision. I was put in a small room given 2 mins to talk to my husband and quickly given the cost for a refund! What!!! As if I was interested in the money at this point!! We agreed to the IUI and told to hang around in the reception until they could 'fit me in'! I was distraught and tried not to cry in front of other people. No one offered any support or talk through what IUI even was. I honestly didn't have a clue!

I was taken down to the theatre again 2 hours later, told to sign a form and they would give me the sperm. It was from a sperm donor and it felt strange being shown it and I am having massive flashbacks of it being dispersed into my womb on the screen. I wasn't mentally in the right place to have this done and haven't had any counselling yet to deal with the donor side of things. I was told there was hardly any chance of it working but to treat it seriously by doing Cyclogest pessaries every morning and night. These have made me feel horrendous, I can't sleep and I feel completely traumatised all weekend. I keep crying every couple of hours.

I feel like a piece of meat and completely violated by what happened. I just can't take in what has happened.

I am so sorry to rant but I don't know who to turn to for advice or to talk things through.

I am 40 and this was my only chance at trying IVF with my own eggs, I just wanted to give it one try before going down the donor route. Now I feel as if I have been cheated out of a chance and I don't even know if I have any eggs that would have fertilised.

Any support would be so appreciated.

[Hidden]

Wow. You are the strongest person I have ever had the chance to encounter. Listen. There are things that happen, and then there are our interpretations of those things. Don't let this make you think you're any less than perfect, because no matter what you are thrown you can get help from friends, family, and community. You are an INCREDIBLE human being and you will get so much support from this community and bounce back from this. xxx

[petitelc in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much, your words are of great comfort. xx

[carrie_on]

Hi hun. You're better than how they treated you. Is there malpractice you can push for? Or give them a scathing review? They deserve what they've got coming. We're all in this together. You are amazingly powerful....

[petitelc in reply to carrie_on]

Oh you are so sweet, thank you! It helps so much hearing supportive words. I hope your journey is going well. Thanks again xx

[carrie_on in reply to petitelc]

You rock!!!! Thank you for your support... You'll fit right in here ;)))

[_MrsC]

Oh gosh my love. How awful for you. I'm so sorry you've been through such a traumatic time. As if the whole process isn't stressful enough! Cyclogest can make you feel really rough. I'm currently getting by by drinking copious amounts of water. I don't go anywhere without a bottle. Try to nurture your body at the moment and the mind will start to heal as a result. Give yourself a nice warm shower before bed and eat plenty of fruit and veg. I find that also helps. Have you tried acupuncture? That is excellent for helping sleep. Once you're feeling in a better place, hopefully you'll feel you have the energy to tackle the awful way you've been treated. It definitely needs to be dealt with but not right now. Give yourself time to build your strength. I'll pray for you. Sending a big hug. xxx

[bluewanderlust]

Hi, I am so very sorry and totally shocked this has happened to you. Can I just ask why it was your last chance? Did the clinic decide that you are too old as let me tell you now you are definatley not too old to try with your own eggs. The way they have treated you is absolutely appalling. You need to think seriously about changing clinics. You are amazing and you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. Yes the clinics are providing a service and a very expensive one at that but they should be caring and sympathetic to your situation too. This whole process of IVF is so full of unpredictable outcomes. It is not until something like this happens that you even know it can happen and when it does it can come as a great shock. I am thinking of you and we are all here for you xxxxx Stay strong xx