being sperm donor for 2 women in the clinic abroad

Hello

My name is Juan, I am a sperm donor in Spain. Recently I have written to the clinic the e mail and asked if it is possible to go there for egg donor ivf but as a sperm donor, I would love to donate my sperm to 2 beautiful women whom I met in this sperm bank, they have chosen me and contacted me. We have been deciding on what to do for some time as I fell like it is my responsibility to not quit those women. They want to know their sperm donor (me) when they will be getting the egg donor treatment, I know that you don’t get to know your oocyte donor in the majority of the clinics so it would be at least better to have one donor to know and trust. They have been told by their doctors that they have to go for egg donor treatment as it is their last chance. Something unforgettably painful and horrifying so I want them to have just some comfort in this life..

So I have sent an email to this clinic and now I am waiting for their response. But I hope that it is possible thought I don’t know.

How do you think, will I have the chance to go to another country as a sperm donor, to a country with less stupid and strict laws.

29 Replies

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  • Hello, Juan! It is so nice to meet someone who is willing to help others because you are doing an important job! On the behalf of all the women who have been dealing with fertility issues I want to thank you!

    PS I think that it is totally possible but if course it depends on what clinic you choose.

  • Thank you for supporting me, but it is nothing, really, I have chosen to be sperm donor not only because i am young and healthy but I also need money so you don’t have to say all of those to me, because clearly i don’t deserve it. i feel really sorry for those two women because they do suffer a lot because of their fertility issues, so helping them with getting pregnant is the most that i can do.

    i know that most of the clinics differ, but i hope that the one we have chosen will be the one.

    thank you again! PS hope that you are okay and nothing bothers you in terms of your health!

  • thank you for asking, i am looking for the clinic too right now, but there are so many options really this makes me so frustrated, i literally cannot understand which one is better for us.. stupid me

    it is the same thing for me, egg donor ivf is the last chance for me to get pregnant. And we also are suffering from law system in our country..

  • But there are so many options, I don't see why it is a problem for you, basically you can go anywhere you want! if you don’t know which clinic is the best for you, you can ask people on forums, i think this would be the best way to understand how each clinic works and if there are some problems with it, because people on forums like this won’t lie. that’s how we have found the clinic we may potentially get the tx done in.

    or maybe you should figure out what you are looking for in the clinic so it will be much more easier using your own criteria to decide on this question?

  • Hi! If you are a sperm donor that means that you have done all of the tests and if you want to go for the treatment with both of those women you can easily do it, it just depends on the fertility center as it has been told in the previous comment. As far as I know most of the clinics will accept you in the treatment if you provide them with all of necessary documents. Easy like that.

  • Yeah, I kind of know that i will have to give the clinic all of the necessary medical information they will need before we start the treatment, but thank you! i suppose that you think that in every clinic it is possible? i mean, i don't know how the things are with not married couples if they can even get into the tx, because we are looking for the country where this kind of thing is not required so basically the clinic of our choice suits us but we kind of do not know maybe we are mistaken.. will wait for their reply!

  • Hi stopped here to wish you the best! I hope you find the clinic and everything will be just fine for the three of you! good luck!

    Wanted to add also, if you have the problem with choosing the right clinic I can advise you on it! Obviously if you want to go internationally. No problem! I can add to all of what has been said that you can choose the donor in some clinics, I see no problem there. Anyways all of the best to you and your friends!

  • Thank you! It is very sweet, your message! Okay, I have decided on the clinic but nothing has been confirmed yet. The main plan is that I will go to the clinic with one woman and after some time with another. I don’t think that it will be somehow impossible if of course it is not forbidden for not married “couples”. We have decided on biotex clinic in Ukraine. as far as I know the option of choosing the donor is not very favored amongst fertility centers, but you know going to US hmm it seems like something that I wouldn’t do just because it is too pricey.

  • I don’t understand why would you have to have this huge gap between the two treatments? Even if you have your work or they have theirs and can’t go to the clinic at the same time you can go there by yourself and have your sperm pick-up at any time. And if we’re talking about biotex there they will provide you with the donor’s database so your companions will be able to choose which one of the donors suits them the most. Also I agree with you on the prices in the US, it is very expensive over there. But neither in us nor in biotex clinic will you have to be married in order to be accepted into the treatment. So don’t worry, I assume that they would require you to send them or undergo some tests in order for them to know that you are completely healthy.

  • But don’t you have to be married for the surrogacy programs in Ukraine, especially in Biotex? When I was there they were really strict when it came to the docs, they even required us to send certificates that we are married, because their law system isn’t that great also. They won’t accept you if you don’t have like a letter from you gp saying that you can’t carry a baby and also can’t be stimulated.

  • But we are talking about ivf treatment, aren’t we? In biotex clinic ivf programs are less strict then surrogacy ones, so as I have told you don’t have to married, you don’t have to have this prescription to surrogacy, they will ask you to send them the medical history that’s right and to undergo health tests, but that’s it. Apart from those women that Juan will be accompanying to the clinic they will undergo the endometrium stimulation and doctors need to know if their patient will be alright after it.

  • Can you please be more precise talking about those tests and examinations? Because I don’t know if there is a difference between requirement in Spain and in Ukraine. and if I would have to find some time to undergo those tests in order to be accepted? I know that it is not that easy but I was just hoping that in the fertility center abroad they would have the option to be examined over there.. Isn’t it true?

  • Of course!! Here is the list of the tests you will be asked to undergo before the treatment, and all of those you will be able to have at the clinic (if of course we talk about biotex clinic). So you will be required to undergo the blood test to see you blood group and RH, on top of this your blood will be used for serology analysis so you obviously can’t be accepted if you have aids, syphilis of hepatitis. Also they will be checking your karyotype. After those tests you will be asked to go to the sperm pick-up room where you will give your sperm ( I am sure you know the protocol haha) and after this the embryologist will see if your sperm is great, also maybe they will ask you to provide the doctors with your previous analysis results, but I am not sure, I think that if everything is great they won’t ask for it.

  • So basically I can go there one time give my sperm, they will freeze it (as far as I understand) and that’s it. Everything else is up to the girls? Right?

  • Hi! Good to know people like you exist it is very kind of you to help others! Thanks!

    But why do you think that you cannot choose an egg donor? I mean, in some clinics it is possible. Of course there is a question still if you meet the donor or not, but still you would have the possibility to see whom the doctors will be taking into the program on the behalf of your egg donor.

  • Hi! You all are too kind to me. I have written to one Ukrainian clinic, the three of us have found it on the internet and it is one of the best options out there, because everyone just keeps praising it. As I have mentioned I have written to this clinic and asked them if it is possible, I don’t know that much about the fertility treatment in Ukraine though so it would be impossible for me to say whether it is possible or not to choose the donor.

  • In most of the European countries it is impossible to choose the donor, but if you say that you are planning to go to Ukraine, I have for you some great news because I have been to Ukraine for the treatment too so I know that there is at least one clinic that will give you donors’ database so you can choose from like 300 of donors. It is biotexcom clinic if you want.

  • Okay, i got that, I sent the biotex manager this question and she replied that indeed we can choose the donor, so I have told that to two of my friends and they were very happy so they will arrange the appointment by themselves separated from me, because it is not that necessary for us to come to the clinic all together.

    PS as far as I know you can see the database only after contract payment, but is that possible to look at the donors before. obviously i won't do so, but I was told to ask if it possible

  • You know, if they ask the manager to open the database for them i am sure manager will be so kind to do that. because honestly in biotex they always try to please their clients and one of the interpreters i went with to the maternity house was so apologizing because we had to go to the 5th floor through the 7th because there was no shoe covers.

    so you are coming to the clinic soon? Nice, I might not be there but it is so cool to meet other people who will undergo their procedures in biotex. plus if you decide to stay longer in Kiev I must say you should see the city because it is very beautiful!

  • Really? Great then, I will tell this them so the girls will ask their managers if it is possible to see the donor's list.

    yes, I am going to Ukraine in couple of days, though I didn't buy tickets yet, we have arranged the appt for next Monday so i will go there on the weekend.

  • Hi. it has been a day, what are you progress?

    have you told your manager all of the infos on your arrivals and departures? because they would see if all of the hotels have rooms for us, we were arranged to go to the nearest hotel to the clinic but then they have said that that hotel was full and we changed hotels. but it was okay. also we arrived at night so we had to find the taxi station at the airport and wait till they gave us a driver, so if you don;t want to wait you better make sure you sent your manager all of the infos.

  • So biotex com manager wrote me back. She said almost everything you guys did so we could go to the clinic together whenever we want even this week, I can give my sperm, the doctors will freeze it and I’m done. Basically she said that those two women will be concluding their own contracts with no relation to each other. They will use both donor’s eggs and my sperm to get pregnant. I don’t really know what happens next, it is up to them, but they have been through a lot so I suppose if they chose this clinic they know the reasoning, I asked them once and they replied me that they were purely satisfied with the price ranges plus on the internet they read lots of articles on this clinic.

  • But how it is possible for you to be the sperm donor for both of them, are you going to be in the biotex’s database or something? Because I don’t quite understand how will they be able to use you as the donor in both cases simultaneously.. Plus, what did the manager told you on the documents? Will you still need to bring with you all of the tests results? Or they would do those at the clinic?

  • No, I don’t think so, I will just be the sperm donor for their two egg donor ivf treatment, that doesn’t mean that I gave my consent to using my sperm in other cases. Those two women have chosen me as their sperm donor and I want to help them. I was told that they could go to the clinic at the same time and like sign the contract and after the stimulation theirs and donor’s the embryos will be fertilized with my sperm and then transferred to their uterine. And it can be performed at the same time.

  • Okay, good to know. I will have to go with surrogacy if I don't find any solution to my fertility problem but I still hope that we will be able to have our own kids. My dh doesn't want to use donor's sperm but if I tell him about you, will that be rude or ignorant if I show him your posts and maybe we could talk privately not that I want to make you my donor it is just my husband is a huge conservative, he is the head of the family so it has to be his baby and not mine. But I don't want to give up though.

  • Great news! When are you planning to go there? You said that you wanted to fly to Ukraine in couple of months, not now. And they’ve said that it is okay for you to be the sperm donor for both of them? it is quite hard to understand though.. how will they perform the contracts and all. And so, you don’t need to be married or something? I am sorry it is kind of confusing honestly, I am myself in a search for the place that would accept me for the ivf de treatment, but I know that for lonely women it is okay to use de and ds, but when you are coming together..

  • it is the same, actually. She will just use my sperm, but contract and everything would be on her name and she would be the one sole responsible for all of the installments that are needed to be paid sooner or later. Plus, they will just keep my sperm frozen till the second woman decides to fly to Kiev. Nothing that hard, I don’t quite understand the whole process but the manager girl said that I don’t need to be worried or anything, that they will take care of every single legal issue.

  • I'm not sure if u volunteer as a known donor in Spain if they allow it but certainly if these women did their treatment in the uk they are able to take u as their known sperm donor and also then have access to the egg donor s details when the child is 18.im not sure whether a uk clinic will accept all ur test results from Spain.worth looking in to this if u have no joy there.

    Very nice thing that u r doing for these ladies x

  • Thanks! We are going to Ukraine though, those girls they are both wanted to pursue the tx abroad so.. they will be going to Ukraine and the clinic said that they accept the tests results but I would rather do them for the second time over there esp if it's not just blood test and spermogramma

    thank you for advising that

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