Hi, a few words about my inner state. As you know today is the St. Valentine's Day but I didn't feel that. DH is at work, I wrote earlier, he has a great project. I'm alone, my mother if far away from me and I can't go to her place.

And I'm still waiting when my husband could go with me in Ukraine. He said one week more and I don't believe him. he is such a typical snob and don't wan't to understand me. Maybe it is just my feelings and I don't understand him as well but the situation is awful.

How to overcome all this, my sleepless nights, nerves, days without sympathy, it's seem like I'm dying.

20 Replies

  • Hi bfrida. Do they have any counselling facilities in the Ukraine? Maybe you could book a session for support either there or when you are in the UK? Not too sure where you are, but I do hope that all returns to normal for you soon. Diane

  • They told it's all ok, we sent them all pack of tests and they invited us for a consultation, but as I wrote, my DH can't do this right now. So we should wait a little time.

    I'm not from UK, it's a differ country, and here all kinds of reproductive medicine are forbidden.

    Thank you for support, I hope the same

  • But I don't know how to overcome my feelings. It's hard when your loving man who you live with doesn't understand you. He doesn't want to share my soul state, any words of support, only work and his project. I'm staying home alone every days. I'm in despair, what should I do?

  • Hi Collywobbles. It is important to tell yourself that the feelings you are experiencing are quite normal. It’s important that you choose how and with who you spend your time at the moment in order to minimise any distress and to look after yourself. Could you take up some form of excise? Perhaps walking or running, it can sometimes help. On a practical level, maybe you could start a new hobby, if you have time. Also remember that most people experiencing infertility do so as a couple and often feel very isolated, so apart from each other, it would be good to confide in one of your best friends or a close family member. There are always going to be pregnant women and babies around, we can’t alter that, but remember that you do not have to go to parties for babies and new-borns. Just send a card with perhaps a gift of money or a voucher, saying that you look forward to meeting “whoever” in the future. Do you have support groups in your country? It can sometimes be beneficial to go to one even if you have to travel, in order to see how other hospitals/clinics treat their patients and how the patients themselves cope. Most only meet up once a month or two months, so if you feel you want to mix, it could be worth the journey. There’s always the opportunity of counselling which might help, so maybe you have counselling there which would support you too. I do hope that you can soon find the support you are looking for, and that you have some treatment too. Diane

  • So sorry I meant "bfrida". Diane

  • I'm ok with that, everyone can be mistaken. I'm so happy you listen to me. You found a time for me, even one minute. It worth much. Thank you for support. Now it is my only joy. And I'm waiting for the weekends, maybe my husband will give me his time. Because yesterday I made a dinner for him but he didn't want to eat. And went to bed. I felt myself like a stupid girl.

  • Thnk you very much. It's mean a lot to me. Every day is a challenge to me. I need to survive in this world. I spend my time on reading, I read books, informations on the websites, watch the discovery channel. But it can't substitute my husband who is alsways busy. My friends are far away from me and I'm home alone most of the time. Honestly, I was thinking about support groups but I don't want to go there alone. Alone, too much alone in my life. My family is my husband and he is living his job right now. My last hope is we will go to ukraine and will start our treatment.

  • Hi bfrida. I do hope that you will soon be able to start some treatment in the Ukraine, and that your husband appreciates your cooking more!! Enjoy your weekend when it comes, and hopefully he will be there with you. Thinking of you. Diane

  • thank you very much, hope my weekend will be calm and comfortable. I want to spend these days with my husband in the love and understanding. To my mind, that's not so much.

  • You enjoy. Diane xx

  • yes, my morning started well. The husband made a breakfast for me. He told me sorry for everything because he was at work. And forgot about me and my feelings. He is my, my love

  • Hi bfrida. So much better to have his love and for him to spoil you. Diane

  • yes, and I have the greatest news. We will go to ukraine this week, on Wednesday. I need so much to do. The fly tickets, our luggage, the documents and so on and so far. How are you, btw?

  • Hi bfrida. That is so good to know. At last you are on your way. I'm fine thanks. Thinking of you. Diane

  • yes, I am. One more night and we'll see Kyiv and a clinic. Can't wait to take my luggage and land in different country.

    Truly to say, I'm scared a bit, I have no idea how to act tomorrow, it's my first try, my first de.

    As far as I know the driver will meet us at the airport and then the hotel, hm, I feel nervous.

    To my surprise, the husband is calm and positive, of course, he has no problem with the health. He's trying to make fun of me. told that I'm sissy, haha

  • Hi bfrida. Bless you, you're bound to feel nervous. However, I'm sure everyone at the clinic will look after both of you and explain everything thoroughly. Good luck! Diane

  • Thank you very much. I'm in kyiv right now. Feel very excited even the weather suits me. Sun rays struck through the clouds like a glimmer of hope. The wind is blowing and it seems to be spring here.

  • Hi. Lucky you! It is cloudy, raining and windy here in Birmingham. Sounds like you're in the best place. Diane

  • haha, a kind of. The weather seems to be like a early spring with the snow on the sidewalks, a light wind and naked trees but any way, I like to be here.

    I see the sun and it makes me happy. Also we got a positive husband's result, still waiting for mine examination.

  • Hi. Well that's a good start. Good luck with your result. Diane

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