I have got to a point where I feel like I'm going crazy with negative emotions. Not helped by chronic insomnia.
I don't feel I can talk to anyone about how I feel. I sense that people feel like I should have got over grieving for my lost babies. I had a miscarriage last June and again in March this year, both following ivf treatment.
My sister in law is about to give birth in the next few weeks around the same week I would have been giving birth, had I not had a miscarriage in march.
Its all she keeps posting about on social media (I really need to stop going on FB!) and talking about every time I see her at family get togethers. It's all the rest of the family seem to talk about as well. I feel like a let down.
I'm also a bit resentful towards her, as though I'm getting it rubbed In my face. Although I'm sure she doesn't mean to. But even her sat rubbing her pregnant tummy whilst sat next to me, sends me to tears and just makes me feel empty inside.
My partner has jus told me he doesn't want to go through another round of IVF as i he can't cope with seeing me go through it again. I understand he is worried about my health. But i don't know how to process this in terms of what it means for our future together.
Sorry to witter on. I just needed somewhere to get this out. I feel so disconnected, even from close friends and family.
Sending good wishes to you all on here . Xxx