Worried it's all over πŸ˜•

Hi ladies

Sorry if this is a bit rambling, I'm going a bit doolally on the 2ww! I'm 8dp5dt today, my OTD is Monday-13p5dt (not including transfer day, I think that's how it works!)

So anyway, I just got it into my head this morning that my period is on its way so I stupidly caved and did a cheapo test (from bodycare, I usually buy decent but I didn't want to waste a good one in case I am just fully losing the plot!) It was negative. Now I'm both angry at myself and feeling weak and upset because there wasn't even a whisper of a line. Why do we do this to ourselves! Feel like I've ruined the rest of my week 😩

The reason I thought my period could be coming is because I stared with a headache yesterday which I still have now and I have backache. The thing is, I do get backache with pms but I've actually had this since 2-3 days after my transfer and I very rarely get headaches with pms!! What the hell is this 2ww doing to me! Even as I write this I think I sound crazy 😳

For about 5-6 days I had lots of (not the kind I usually get) cramps, aches, pokey twinges & brief but sharp occasional shooting pains across my pelvis, sometimes in the middle but lower than where I feel period pain but mostly to the sides, again low and kinda where my pubic bone is. I still I have the ache a little but the pokes etc have died down.

I don't know if these could just be the meds, I'm on oestrogen tablets 3x per day and 2 pesseries a day. I haven't had any spotting or sore boobs etc.

Anyway, so sorry for the long post. This 2ww just makes me not recognise myself, I'm hoping I'm not alone!

Lots of love everyone xxx

14 Replies

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  • Hi you are certainly not alone! There are a quite a few of us with you on this! I am currently on 2ww going crazy too! My transfer day was the 10th of August. I had 2x 5 day blastos which is the best we have ever done. 3 failed cycles previously. I have had full on period pain since 15th. No blood so far. I'm going crazy waiting to bleed but also worried I haven't had any spotting! So you just can't win. My previous cycles ended before test date with a full on period so i am nervously waiting for this to happen again. Test day Friday. So as I keep telling myself it's not over til then!! Don't dwell on your negative test. I would think it's still a bit early. It's impossible to stop over thinking all this. Keep those fingers crossed. Wishing you all the best. Think positive. Xx

  • Thanks so much Hun, glad to know I'm not alone! It's torturous isn't it πŸ˜• So sorry to hear about your previous 3 cycles, this is my 2nd try (a fet) Really positive you have 2 blasto's on board though, really hope that means success for you this time. Thanks for your wishes and loads and loads of luck to you too, keep me posted πŸ™πŸ» xxx

  • Good morning Georgina

    First of all do not beat yourself up over the test, on our first 2ww back in May I tested 8dp5dt and it was negative and I just cried and cried and i just felt dreadful for the next few days. It's too early yet to test so throw that test in the bin( if you haven't already) and move on from it otherwise you'll just dwell on it like I did and wish I hadn't.

    Unfortunately the Pessaries give us the same side effects as we'd normally get when due on. The cramping and twinges could be either things and that is why this is so hard... It's impossible to say!!

    Well done for the last 8 days and you only have 5 more sleeps to go πŸ˜„ so put your positive hat back on and try not to worry (I know, I know, it's nigh on impossible not to)

    I'm here if you need to talk just pm me

    Holly xx

  • Thanks so much Holly, it's so reassuring to know I'm not alone and other ladies have done the same. I felt so positive after the transfer but it's just slowly slipped away as the days have gone on. It's like the 2ww causes a personality transplant, I'm usually pretty rational & chilled!

    I have thrown the test away and I won't be doing another till test day, at least then you have to deal with it whereas beforehand you've still got to do it again anyway 😩

    Thanks for your reassurance and wishes xxx

  • Aw Georgina please don't lose hope, it's still sooo early. Symptom spotting is the worst. You can't not do it because we want it so badly that we read in to everything but you have to stay positive lovely! The meds will be playing havoc with your hormones and your body so don't beat yourself up about not feeling yourself, your body isn't really your own at the minute. Just try to stay calm, take one day at a time and take care of yourself x x x

  • Thanks so much mommabear, it's like rationally I know it's early but then you hear about other ladies getting bfp's on 8dp and get encouraged I think!

    Just really cross with myself for being impatient but like you say we just want it so much don't we. I hope you're doing ok and I really appreciate your reply 😘 Xx

  • I completely understand, I did my first test at day 10 and got the faintest of positives but it's a double-edge sword because then you have to test every day to make sure it's still there and it drives you NUTS! Hahaha I would probably do the same again! It's so hard but give yourself a break with it all, try to keep yourself distracted and OTD will soon be here! x x x

  • The whole process is such a massive head mash isn't it! I'm going to leave it till test day now as I just can't put myself through it, I have a few things going on the next few days so hopefully that will help πŸ™πŸ»

    Are you ok & taking time and looking after yourself? Really hope you're as well as you can be Hun xxx

  • I am thank you - I'm doing well. Have our review coming up in 5 weeks or so which is something to look forward to (I think?!). Trying to stay positive :) x x x

  • So glad to hear this mommabear, you're a very strong & inspirational lady. I'm so thankful for this forum, don't know what I'd do without it! Xxx

  • Hey Georgina, I am a really laid back and calm person, i don't really have a temper, never really get that anxious and am known for dealing with any crisis that is thrown my way ... there is no way you would know this from my posts or if you met me in the 2ww! I honestly have no idea who that person was.... it was like some fertility version of the hulk. I was massively emotional, got angry and anxious over nothing ... symptom spotted like I had never had a body before! The meds combined with the lack of control at the final stage/culmination of an emotional time makes it a uniquely mad time. Testing early as you can see from my story is rarely a good thing no matter which way it goes. Hold firm from here on in xx you are not crazy ... the process is πŸ˜‰

  • Gosh Datak while I wouldn't wish this and all these feelings on anyone, selfishly I have to say it's so relieving to hear it's not just me. The way you put it about the hulk is such a spot on way to describe it (that show used to scare me as a kid, probably like I scare my hubby sometimes with my fluctuating emotions!)

    I am definitely not going to test again until Monday now, it doesn't really achieve anything I've learnt. Thanks so much for your reassurance, I don't know what I'd do without this outlet! I hope you're doing ok too xxx

  • Hi Georgina, I just wanted to add my bit and reassure you that you are certainly not alone, or mad! The 2ww is the worst, worst part and the expectation and hope, along with all the hormones raging around your body at the moment, are certain to send you a little bit crazy, I know they did me! Like Mommabear, I also tested at 10 days and had a very faint line and then went on to test every day like a mad woman, just to make sure it was still there and getting stronger! It is by no means over for you, so don't give up. I am undergoing an FET soon and am absolutely dreading the 2ww - I bet my posts then will sound much, much crazier than yours!!! Wishing you massive luck. Xx

  • Thanks so much MonkAK, I really appreciate it, I do feel better already after everyone's reassureances and I'm not going to test till my OTD. At least I can try and be in blissful (ahem!) ignorance until then and I have to deal with it on test day anyway. I kinda forget the hormones are responsible for a lot too, I was honestly doubting my sanity 😳

    I really hope your fet goes well, we'll be here for you too on your next 2ww 😘 Xx

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