It's all over :(: Hi ladies, So as you... - Fertility Network UK

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It's all over :(

Lilac12 profile image
26 Replies

Hi ladies,

So as you can tell from the title it's all over. I haven't even reached test day which is this Thursday, and my period came on Sunday just gone. I've done all my crying and i've moved on. The only thing is clinic is still telling me to keep taking pessaries and telling me to retest on Thursday as normal. This is making things so much worse because i just want to move on from this cycle. I've done countless tests, they're all negative. I have a full blown period now, and i know nothing will change on Thursday. I just can't ever see myself ever getting a positive test. To be honest seeing my period arrive was a lot better than having to see a negative test on test day.

Is there anything i should be doing different for FET? Any supplements to help implantation? I have spent so much money on acupuncture and fertility massages on the run up and during the ivf cycle, that i'm not even gona bother to do any of that this time. Like this process isn't financially difficult as it is.

Any success stories after failed ivf round?

x

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Lilac12 profile image
Lilac12
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26 Replies
EasterChick profile image
EasterChick

Oh no Lilac, that is such sad news. But do keep taking the meds as the clinic advises because you just never know. I was sure this time around that I was having a miscarriage but I was wrong. The times before though, when we had failed cycles or mmc were horrible. You will see by the journeys ladies on this forum share that there are many lows, but also many highs. Best of luck to you darling x

Lilac12 profile image
Lilac12 in reply toEasterChick

Thanks so much for replying hun. I know, my husband is telling me to keep up with the advice of the clinic too, i know they know best. It's just super difficult because the stress of failing this cycle is just dragging, i want to move on from it all.

I'm pleased to hear that it's worked out for you hun. Such a difficult process, we all deserve some good news. Hoping that you have a good healthy pregnancy hun xx

Missl73 profile image
Missl73

I’m so sorry big hugs I’ve previously had a BFN and a MMC so I understand how heartbroken you must be feeling. Have you had your progesterone levels tested before your FET? My first FET my levels were very low and my embryo didn’t implant, this time I took extra progesterone in the form of intramuscular injections and I’m now almost 6 weeks xx

Missl73 profile image
Missl73 in reply toMissl73

I forgot to add I stopped bothering with acupuncture and I relaxed and allowed myself the odd glass of wine in the run up to transfer and found the whole thing less stressful xx

Lilac12 profile image
Lilac12 in reply toMissl73

No i didn't get my levels tested, maybe that's something i can suggest to my clinic before starting my FET. Thanks for that hun, will bring it up with the clinic. I'm pleased to hear after so much heartbreak it's finally worked out for you . What a journey this is! wishing you lots of luck hun, and hoping you have a healthy pregnancy xxx

Missl73 profile image
Missl73 in reply toLilac12

If you’re only on pessaries for progesterone support I would definitely suggest it. Have you done medicated or natural FETs? Xx

Lilac12 profile image
Lilac12 in reply toMissl73

This was my first ever cycle and first ever transfer. Not sure how the FET process works, but i'm assuming my FET will be medicated. And yup, was only on pessaries, i may not have been absorbing them as i should have been, bleeding 9dpt is too early i reckon.

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5 in reply toLilac12

I would second having your progesterone levels checked. Ive had lots of BFNs and lost 2 BFPs and Ive only just found out my body probably isnt absorbing the pessaries very well as my levels were low. Im having injections mixed with pessaries next time and we are going to check my levels on transfer day. Hugs, not a nice place to be in. Incidentally I bled on 2 of my NHS cycles before OTD.xx

Lilac12 profile image
Lilac12 in reply toCinderella5

I think i might ask if i can have injections too ( even though i'm petrified of the progesterone injections). Will definitely ask to get my levels checked as they have never been checked. They were checked with all my other bloods a few months before i even started IVF, and so much could have changed since.

I'm sorry to see that you've been on such a difficult journey, wishing you lots of luck for your next attempt. I see you quite a lot around here and i must say you really keep the ladies going with your advice and kind words xx

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5 in reply toLilac12

My progesterone levels in a natural cycle when I ovulate however when you start using meds for treatment its the drugs that we add in that create the emvironment for baby. My body isnt great at absorbing the estradiol to thicken my lining and looks like not it doesnt fully absorb the pessaries fully so my levels are not high enough. Im addin in a Lubion injection every second day (as well as the cyclogest pessaries 400mg twice a day) and we will check my levels at transfer. The Lubion injections are not as bad as the progesterone oil ones aws they are subcutaneous and not intramuscluar so apparently not so painful but Ive yet to try them yet! I may think differently when I do! Ha ha ha

Thanks every so much with your kind words too, I also get so much support from everyone here and that keeps me going too!xx

Im so sorry to read this, my 2 failed rounds my period came as early as day 9p2det so I know how horrible that wait is until test day, you just want to try and move on and it all feels so pointless. I did what I was told though!

There are LOADS of people on here who have had a failed cycle or two but gone onto have their BFP. My first failed, my second I got my BFP but MC and then my third failed. I agree with you next time I am ditching all the alternative therapies - it made me even more focused on TTC and more obsessed with the cycle. Next time I am just going to be chilled. We have had 2 natural BFPs (sadly MC both of those as well) and both of those they were conceived whilst drinking and on holiday - I am sure being relaxed is as valuable as all these alternative therapies!

Sending hugs and positive vibes for your FET xx

Lilac12 profile image
Lilac12

Yes, my period came on 9dpt too. I am so sorry to hear that you've been through so much. I look at myself and i think compared to others i have not struggled like they have. This was my first cycle and first transfer and i feel like it's taken everything out of me. You are so strong!

Keep strong hun, because it's people like you who give inspiration and keep us ladies strong. That's what i love about this forum.

And yes, i'm ditching all the extra stuff and will try to relax this time. I definitely haven't been relaxed!

Wishing you lots and lots of luck in your next cycle and hoping this one is the one that works for you. xxx

Missl73 profile image
Missl73 in reply toLilac12

I didn’t realise this was your first ever cycle and transfer. Don’t beat yourself up about it, the average is three cycles so there is definitely no reason to assume that you won’t be successful in the future. Depending on your age the very best chance of success per cycle is about 50% so even if everything goes perfectly there’s no guarantees - with IVF you’re usually in it for the long haul. I honestly believe if it’s just a case of finding the right embryo. Take some time to look after yourself and get ready to try again. The fact you got some to freeze is a very positive sign (and puts you in the minority). Good luck next time xxx

Lilac12 profile image
Lilac12 in reply toMissl73

Yep it was my first ever try. I was telling the nurse too, a lot of us jump into IVF thinking it's just like a weeks process where you leave with a baby at the end of it (extremely naive thinking i know), it's not until i went for my consent signing i realised how long winded and emotionally and physically straining this process is going to be. My husband was really surprised too. Everyone that knows my situation was also shocked at how long this process takes and how many attempts it can take.

My consultant told me it takes average of 3, and the fact i went for an unlimited 2 year plan shows i knew more than likely it wasn't going to be successful on the first attempt. I just didn't contemplate how distraught i would be going through an extremely difficult process ( i really struggled on the injections), and then to just see a negative.

I'm feeling loads better though, i've been pampering myself. I've booked a holiday away, and mentally in a much better state.

Thank you so much for your kind words and consolation. I know i should count myself very lucky as i could have ended up with none to freeze and back to square to one.

Wishing you lots of luck too xx

Missl73 profile image
Missl73 in reply toLilac12

Totally understandable, after everything we put ourselves through it's never easy getting a BFN. I'm on my 3rd transfer (6th cycle I've had to abandon a few because my body hasn't always played ball). Honestly, with IVF I think if you try enough times eventually it will work and I have found I've coped better as time goes on because you become a bit more hardened to the process. Doesn't mean you don't have a good cry every now and then when things don't go the way you hoped - it's only natural. I'm sure one of those Frosties will be your future baby xxx

Lilac12 profile image
Lilac12 in reply toMissl73

oh wow, i feel so silly to complain. There's so many ladies on here like yourself who have struggled and not given up. And you're right, if you keep trying you'll end up with a baby, and i always have seen people not giving up ending up with a child at the end. The key is to be persistent and not fall flat at the first hurdle like i have.

You're right about how it hardens you. I never imagined in a million years i'd have trouble having a family. I'd see people who were having trouble and i used to think i wonder how they cope, I wouldn't be able to if i was in their position. I got into their position and i coped. You have no other choice. It's the same with the ivf process. Wishing you lots of luck and success too xx

Celloheggy profile image
Celloheggy

Oh lilac I’m so sorry. I’m out too, spotting yesterday turned to light bleeding today. I haven’t even done a pregnancy test, hate seeing a negative! It clearly hasn’t worked so I’m stopping my pessaries tonight.

I hope you’re managing and can pick yourself up.

Going to ring the clinic tomorrow to see whether I can change consultant for the follow up. Not sure we’re going to do another cycle but I want a consultant who will actually respond to my queries mid cycle!!!

Do something nice this weekend.

Lots of hugs xxx

Lilac12 profile image
Lilac12 in reply toCelloheggy

Oh no Celloheggy, i am so sorry. This can be so cruel. I know how you feel about not wanting to do a pregnancy test. Seeing my period arrive was a lot better than what i would've been like seeing a negative on test day.

Yes, change consultants if you feel like you're being neglected. I feel like after the transfer i was almost being ignored. I'd leave a voicemail at 9am and i'd get a callback from the nurse just before she was about to leave the clinic and head home right at the end of the day, and the conversation all seemed a bit rushed. Last thing you need.

I hope you're getting on okay? xxx

Rowly88 profile image
Rowly88

Sorry to hear your news, thinking of you xx

Lilac12 profile image
Lilac12 in reply toRowly88

Thank you x

Kiers27 profile image
Kiers27

Hey lovely .. I’m so sorry to be reading this. Gutted for .... this is just so so sad 😞.

Be kind to yourself this week and give yourself some time hun before you start the next round.

It is possible ... and there are lots of success stories on here ... hold on to be thoughts of the little Frosties for you when you are ready.

Sending you the biggest hugs xxx

Lilac12 profile image
Lilac12 in reply toKiers27

Thank you so much hun. Yes, taking much needed time out xx

Picalilli99 profile image
Picalilli99

I’m so sorry to hear this. I can understand your disappointment. I have bled before my OTD on all 4 of our transfers. It’s devastating having to carry on with the pessaries when all you want is closure. I would second what others have said about progesterone, bleeding before OTD can bd be a sign that levels aren’t sufficient. So many women on here have success after the 1st round so please don’t judge your future chances on this outcome. From our 3 fresh cycles we have only ever had 1 frostie, so although it might not feel like it right now, you are in a good position having some there for you when you are ready to go again. Sending hugs xxx

Lilac12 profile image
Lilac12 in reply toPicalilli99

Wow, what a journey you have been on. All you ladies are so strong! I'm hoping this cycle is the one that works for you. You'll be in my thoughts. I will be getting my levels checked for sure, bleeding at 9dpt just seems to early.

Thank you for your kind words hun. Wishing you all the luck in the world xx

Picalilli99 profile image
Picalilli99 in reply toLilac12

Thank you, that’s very lovely of you. We are trying extra progesterone injections (along with a couple of other things) this time so I’m hopeful that might help make a difference for us 🙏. Glad to read above that you are feeling a little brighter today because it can be so hard to pick yourself back up after a BFN. Keep going though, you will get there and hopefully your next go will be successful. Take care xxxx

DiamondRuby128 profile image
DiamondRuby128

I am so sorry but I also got my period on Sunday but I’ve tested positive since. I’m still bleeding and HCG levels are very low so I’m preparing myself for the worse when they retest on Friday but do continue with all your meds. I was ready for a glass of wine on Sunday night and obviously that wouldn’t have been a very good idea!!

I’m still on progesterone even though I don’t think I will still be pregnant in a couple of days.

Don’t give up until you’ve done the test. We’ve put our bodies through a lot and I think they just get very confused and messed up. Sending positive thoughts xxx

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