Hello lovely ladies. I need a vent about my boss. So I had my 1st failed attempt at the beginning of this month. And took a week of work after, just to get my head together. I went back last week to a frosty reception from my boss, not once did he asked how I was. And I then found out he had told other members of staff about my IVF & that it had failed! I had asked him to keep it confidential.
So I went in yesterday for my 1st shift of the week, I walked into his officec & he had a massive go at me. Asking me what was going on with my IVF as he had Googled it & from implantation I was considered pregnant, so when I started bleeding I should have taken 2x weeks off not 1! He made me feel like I was lying about it all! He also said he was well in his right to tell everyone about my treatment as they deserved to know if I was sat on my arse doing nothing! Needless to say I walked straight back out. I am so gobsmacked that he could be so insensitive! So I've made an official complaint and now have the stress of a formal investigation!
Just what I need ey!! 😢😢😢 xxx
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Becky179
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Becky179 good on you - put a grievance in - what has happened is totally unacceptable and he should not be able to get away with it!!! 😡
I'm so so so sorry to hear your boss is being so insensitive. Good for you for making a complaint. Something has to be done. It is not ok for him to treat his staff like that. That's such personal information to tell other colleagues how awful for you. I'm sure your colleagues were horrified and I'm sure they will be on your side. Perhaps some good can come out of this your colleagues will be now aware of this and you may even find that they are a good support. What comes around goes around and I'm sure one way or another your boss will get what is coming to him 😈
Your boss has absolutely no right to question how long you took off work after and can not make comments about IVF. Is he an IVF specialist? He also had absolutely no right to tell confidential information about what treatment you were undergoing. He does not have the right to tell anyone private information about any employees. I would continue with this grievance procedure and document how he is behaving towards you. This is not acceptable behaviour. Wishing you all the best. What a twat ! X
OMG how insensitive. Hopefully he will receive some advice on how to deal with people in a more constructive way. It would have been far better if he'd kept his mouth shut! Stay as far away from him as you can and when you have to deal with him ensure that you have a supportive colleague with you that way he may modify his behaviour.
Agree always make sure you have a witness with you when you speak to him in future. This is also bullying, so you may want to consider legal advice xx
Aaww god thats awful, i hope you get good support from whoever you have put the complaint in to. No boss should be allowed to speak to anyone like that never mind what your dealing with.
Sending you hugs and hope he gets a mega arse kicking xx
Thank you everyone!!! I love the support on here! It's weird how you start doubting yourself & thinking you're over sensitive!
After a long conversation with my area manager he's told me I can work my shift today & my manager is not aloud near the building. And I'm having a formal meeting tomorrow.
I will definitely take it as far as I can, he is a complete a.hole! And can't get away with it. However I'm really nervous about going in today incase the other members of staff are on his side 😢
Proud of you X can't let anyone get away treating you like that X I think most of your colleagues will be on your side X they might have had a hard time off him and are grateful that you are taking this further X Thinking of you and hope today goes ok X I'm glad your area manager is your own side and taking this seriously X
There's no way they will be on his side, anyone with a human bone will realise how devastating this is for you not to mention totally inappropriate. Bring him down!!!!!!!
Hello I work in hr and your boss has dug his grave completely by the way he's treated you. He's breached confidentiality laws which is a sackable offence, and he clearly had no clue about employment law. Sounds like your area manager has realised the cock up of your boss. Absolutely put in a grievance: he will come out far worse than you. Your well within your rights to take garden leave when the grievance starts, which means you don't have to be in your workplace at all on full pay until this is resolved. What sector do you work in? Any union would support you with this even if your not paying into one. You can still seek support from them. On a personal note, what a total prick. Let us know how you get on with this joker. Stand your ground. He will be lucky to have a job at the end of this.
Shocking behaviour....... He absolutely had no right to breach your confidentiality, especially when you had asked him not to. I'm sure there will be consequences for him doing this (quite rightly)
I would say, is there a policy for IVF treatment and time off at your work place? Sounds like, as he knew your were having treatment, then he didn't tell you wether you had to take holiday or if it would be covered under your sickness intitlement.
I only say this as my old company were happy to pay me for 2 weeks sick pay after egg collection on my first IVF. Company has now changed hands and I have been told any IVF treatment and absence as a result will need to be booked as holiday as they class this as a 'personal life style option' and not as somethings which classes as sickness/medically essential. (I'm a little annoyed as of course I didn't choose to have infertility and don't want to have IVF, but need to in hope of ever having children)
I really hope it all gets resolved tomorrow... It sounds like your boss is in mega trouble already and I'm sure you will be okay. Good luck... I know how awful and worried you must feel.
Ps. I would tell them that you have gone through IVF and know exactly what it Intails and be happy to answer questions on this, and give them contact details of your clinic if need be! whilst your boss simply googled it and decided he was then an expert! Total plum!
I'm absolutely appalled by this man's behaviour. I haven't officially been told about my boss's 2nd cycle, but I'm pretty sure she knows I've twigged. So has her daughter, but we've agreed to keep it to ourselves for now. I have one good friend in whom I've confided. She's never met my boss and probably never will. Her sole interest is to support me in case it goes wrong again. Even so I still feel guilty about mentioning it, even though I know my boss wouldn't mind and would be glad to know I have support. This man must have no morals or conscience at all. Hope they throw the book at him xxx
OMG WHAT A TOSSER!!!! (sorry)
You poor thing like ivf isn't hard enough and now this, I defo think you have done the right thing the man needs sacking for his unprofessional conduct. xxx
Oh Becky what an awful man he sounds!! I'm so glad you put a formal complaint in, no one should speak to you like that or share your confidential medical information with others. I am furious on your behalf! I would consider seeking legal advice or contacting a union rep if you have one? Make sure you take someone into any meetings you might have as a witness and keep a record with dates/times of anything that is and has been said during the investigation and after this is all over.
I hope it all goes as smoothly as it possibly can for you. I'm so sorry you're going through this on top of everything else x x x
Hi all! So the update is, I went to my formal meeting and made my complaint, 2.5 hrs I was in there! Then I found out last night he had gone into work that morning & quit!! He obviously knew he was in trouble & quit before he had gross misconduct on his record!
So I do feel a bit guilty but it is what he deserved!
I am glad it is resolved and if he hadn't have behaved like such a pig, he wouldn't have had to quit so don't feel guilty. Hope your next manager has more empathy xxx
Don't feel guilty...he had that coming...shame they didn't get to sack him first!!!
It's horrible you have had to experience this and they are lucky that you are now not signed off sick with stress!! It might make them look at IVF processes/leave now.
I've not worked in a job that allows IVF time off, so use up my leave days.
Look after yourself and now that this has been highlighted you'll probably find out from others that he been a dick to them about other things too!!
Good! Just a shame he quit before he was sacked, he clearly saw the writing on the wall.
I'm just glad you don't have to face him now and can put it behind you I hope. Don't feel guilty in the slightest, you have only called him on his appalling behaviour and with a bit of luck he will think twice before again treating someone so badly. You are completely faultless xxx
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