Work stress

[SJA14]

Just interested to hear how everyone deals with work whilst going through this journey?

I have quite a high stress job and when I'm having IVF treatment or have had bad news I just feel like I want to tell them to sod off!

I haven't been able to tell my boss as it's a male dominated environment and whilst he would say all the right things (got to tow the line for hr!) I know that I would be at risk of redundancy if they felt I wasn't preforming because of it.

I've phoned in sick for a couple of days just while I get my head round the latest BFN on Sunday but even then I'm still getting emails from my boss asking me about work. It's stressing me out on top of everything else...

[Hidden]

Hi

I had a really stressful job and couldn't get my head round telling anyone at work or managing ivf and working so I quit! I know it's not a solution for everyone but I didn't see anyway!

[bibiz]

Of course, the IVF procedure worsens your nerves, but you need to understand this before you agree to IVF. Maybe you'd better take a small vacation at work? After all, if you react so sharply to the requests of your boss, then he can dismiss you from work. Perhaps you should do yoga or read any psychological books. When my husband and I were doing IVF, we were also very nervous. I can say that I even had depression after the first two unsuccessful IVF attempts. But then I started reading books on psychology. At first it seemed to me that I was wasting my time. But gradually I began to think the same way as written in the book. I tried not to be nervous, take care of my husband, do not yell at him, do not offend him. Because when I was depressed, I often offended him, told him offensive words. But he never offended me, he understood that it was hard for me. But then I was so itistic that I thought only of myself and of my desires. And then I began to understand that I need to be more diligent in order not to lose family and friends. And in your case, you can lose your job. I hope that you will be able to survive this difficult period with dignity. It seems to me that we women are strong beings and we can be an example even for some men.

[kelsbels88]

Dealing with work is definitely tough.

I find there isn’t really a good way to deal with it. For me (working with young children) it can be a horrible reminder when AF shows her head or therapy if I can’t have my own I’ll love someone else’s per se.

I sadly got to the point where I had to tell the bosses what was going on due to other tests and procedures not pregnancy related but I don’t think they were too pleased.

On a personal level I know I could get a job elsewhere if push came to shove but sadly it’s not that easy for everyone.

I think find things you love doing that can completely occupy your time or your mind. Maybe try and find a time when you can switch off from work.

Sorry can’t help further xxx

[Lynnr54]

That’s a real shame! I also have a high stress job and I did tell my bosses and they were great about it - gave me time off when I needed which I either took annual leave, special leave (for EC and long middle of day appts e.g. nurse consultation) and worked flexibly making up the time for normal appts. We have a fertility policy though so they didn’t really have a choice - have you got anything similar?

[kirdrew]

Can you talk to HR? Good luck and be kind to yourself xxx

[Runner90]

I'm in a really similar situation as my work can be really stressful, and because of contract negotiations there's no way I can tell anyone.

I do know people who have quit work to focus on ivf but I actually love my job, and I think it's great to have a distraction if I get a negative result. I'm only on my first round though so I don't know if I'd feel different if the situation was different.

Maybe you could tell your boss you're having a hard time with your health? So don't tell him about the ivf just say you've been unwell and it's temporarily impacting on you and you'll be back to normal soon? You don't have to disclose what it is just that you need some extra compassion atm