I haven't written for a while and I'm not sure why I'm writing now other than to just share some of these awful, sad, hopeless feelings I'm feeling. Nothing major has happened recently with me. I had my failed cycle in August, I have just been trying to get on with life since then and work towards my FET which will happen around Easter time but I just feel so desperately sad. Infertility is so cruel and steals kind, loving people of their spark. I feel like my life is in limbo. I don't know what the future has in store and I'm terrified. I act like everything is just normal but actually my heart is so very sad and the awful thing is the only cure is the thing we can't have.
I had a lovely day out yesterday with my husband and friends who came to stay but out of the blue I just got so overwhelmed with sadness as we were surrounded by families and children. I hate that my life has become this horrible waiting game and that I am separating myself from my closest family and friends as it is too painful to see them with their young babies and kids. I know I will get over this bad patch and find a way to carry on and I really am sorry for the depressing post, I just feel so alone with these thoughts that writing them down does help.
I wish all you struggling like I am baby dust and magic for 2016 and hope your dreams manage to come true. And to you few lucky ladies who are expecting their much wanted babies I wish you happy and healthy pregnancies. Xxx ❤️