Fertility Network UK
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So happy but so sad!!!

It's been 2 years since my hubby & I found out that we would be unable to have a baby naturally or by IVF. I felt I had learned to deal with my feelings & had started to talk openly about our situation when in conversation with other people without getting upset........until recently!! My brother & his partner have found out they are expecting baby no.3 (this added to 2 older children from his previous marriage). I am so unbelievably happy for them but so unbelievably sad at the same time. I feel I am on the precipice again!! I wish I could make these feelings go away.

7 Replies


It must be so hard for you. Can I ask why your not allowed to do IVF?

Kelly X


It's not that we're not allowed its just that our chances of success are so tiny we decided to not put ourselves through it.


It's harder when it's people who are close to you although I have found my nieces quite a comfort to me. X


I do love my nieces & nephews....there's 6 on my hubby's side too!! It's just do hard when I was the one that so desperately wanted children from so young & my bro has found it so easy!! I admit I'm jealous, it's not an attractive quality but there it is!!

1 like

So sorry you're feeling this it's so hard.... I'm guessing donor eggs can't help you? Xx


Have you considered counselling? We ceased treatment in January following 2 mcs from natural conceptions and 3 rounds of ICSI=3 bfns. I've been having counselling to help with the grief of not being able to be a mum. I've also been reading a book by Jodie Day. Both seem to be helping but it's always going to be a source of pain and pops up often when I least expect it.


I am really sorry to hear you feel this way. As suggested, you should try counselling and see if that helps. Going through this must be difficult and the feeling of everyone else is having children but you. Whenever I feel sad, I come to the forum because I can read that I am not alone and if I were to ask a question, the ladies here are extremely helpful.

Take sometime out and decide what you would like to do to help ease the stress a little.

Big hugs. Xxx


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