I just need to get this out, so sorry's in advance for the ramblings.
I'm just fed up, exhausted of it all, and so desperately sad. I miss my little baby. I'm sad I'm back to waiting for doctors and results and start dates. Think I've lost all tolerance of people's perception of our infertility, of our grief, and having to explain it all after being emotionally battered by family and friends for supposedly "punishing them" or "flooding everywhere with our grief which is upsetting for them".
How are we supposed to go on without our daughter, fight another Ivf day, without the love and support of family?! If I'm totally honest it was lacking for many years, until we were pregnant, she changed all that making them finally include me and share in our joy. It's all gone.
My life has been about statistics, logical numbers. But they don't help me anymore. I'm just sick of being here.