Ok so here goes. I'm 35 in February, had 3 natural miscarriages the first being 16yrs ago nearly. After years of battling the nhs, we got testing, OH has spermicidal antibodies, apparently I'm fine. By that point I was also battling depression and massive weight gain because of all this. Lost more than half my body weight. Fought, played the nhs, waiting game and eventually got nhs funding for icsi. First round worked, 13 eggs but only 2 survived so both implanted. Twin one lost very early, 2nd continued to grow brilliantly. That was until 17+2wks I gave birth to our little girl due to placental abruption. No cause found, no health issues caused it. So I'm again waiting for follow up appt with clinic (our daughter being that much bigger than our other tiny ones we lost changed thing, no one wants to talk to the mum who's baby died about trying again). Few people suggested acupuncture for the trauma and lack of sleep. We've been once a week for 4wks now. My issue is I don't know if it's working. It's not cheap for us to have it when I can't return to work yet, so my question is do you guys think it's worth continuing??
Thank you, and sorry having to meet under such crappy circumstances
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Parentsofangels
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so sorry to hear of the trauma you have gone through, my heart goes out to you.
I have started IVF yet but have started acupuncture in preparation and have to say I love it, I feel relaxed and like I have some control over things when waiting for appointments etc. I think it is one of those things that is a personal choice and only you can decide based on if you think its helping you and costs etc xxx
Thank you for replying and glad you're feeling benefit from the acupuncture. It's so hard isn't it, I've been so logical and scientific, wanting to know what causes our issues, is there treatment (there is, but it's dangerous as hell so a no go). I know some swear by acupuncture, even my sister had it to try induce her labour and said if nothing else it relaxed her so was worth it. Oh I don't know, part of me is petrified of stopping in case it is working! My first period was the usual amount of days, painful, but not for as many days as usual, so I guess it could have helped regulate my body a bit quicker there. My back is a mess though! Been told I have stress related muscle injury (muscle spasm to you and I). Oh goodie, add it to my list lol
Hello parentsofangels, I am sorry you've been through all of this heartache and trauma. Life can be so cruel and it must be an incredibly difficult time.
I agree with Button 123 that it's all down to personal preference. I had acupuncture after a year or so of ttc naturally. It was expensive but I did find it helped me to relax. It gave me some much needed ''me" time and I found I often fell asleep during treatment. However, I also went for counselling and I found this helped me much more with my feelings and emotions than acupuncture did. I'm not sure if this is something you've done or are doing but if not, I think the extra money may be best spent on this.
My counsellor also recommended tai chi (or Pilates/yoga) for stress/relaxation. I felt really relaxed after tai chi and always had a good sleep that night. They also taught me exercises I could do at home to help relieve stress.
I went back to acupuncture when we started our IVF and would definitely recommend it when you're ready to start your next round of treatment.
We have started asking for counselling after we lost Annabelle in July (7wks ago now on Saturday). It's so heartbreaking, we really thought we'd cracked it this time and all the years of pain and heartbreak seemed to all be worth while. For her to pass away so suddenly (and under horrible treatment from the hospital, won't be going there next time) without finding any reason other than "just one of those rare things we don't know why happens" is an additional hard pill to swallow.
Loosing her has really brought home to us both how much we've been through and how much grief we haven't dealt with properly over the years. I can't really say if I enjoy it. It's not that I don't believe in it, I'm just not sure if it works, but like I said, worried to stop in case it is helping and I just don't know it yet. I'm apparently not very good with the unknown. That's irony for you eh!
Thank you all for replying. Wishing success for you all x
Take good care of yourself Parentsofangels. Don't feel you have to keep going to acupuncture just because someone suggested it. I often tie myself in knots trying to do what others tell me.
I think the counselling is helping, but as with everything , there are waiting lists, the receptionist said they've had an influx of patients this year, so more people to take up the counselling. We've only managed to squeeze in two sessions and they were by chance cancellations, nothing now til the end of the month. Think my partner quite likes the acupuncture, he's often nearly asleep, which is great because he's barely slept since our daughter died. He'd completely buried his grief of the losses and fertility issues for many years, now it's all surfaced, it feels like we're both dealing with it all from scratch sometimes. It's just so incredibly hard to think we have to start again from scratch, I just hope to do whatever I can to make this our possible only last chance, as easy as it can be with the best chance possible x
I found counselling made a huge difference. I wasn't dealing with the loss of a baby but the grief and pain that generally comes with infertility. What I would say is that it took a bit of time. I probably went for around 4 months. I saw her fortnightly initially but the sessions became further apart as I felt stronger. I felt very emotional at my last session as I was so aware of how far I had come.
I'm glad the acupuncture seems to be helping your husband.
I can imagine it must be very frustrating feeling like you're back at square one when you had come so far. Of course you're dealing with this on top of all your grief too.
I'm no expert and I'm certainly not medically qualified but (once you're ready to try again) it might be worth asking to be tested for natural killer cells (if you've it already been). I've read this can cause recurring miscarriage in women but can be managed through additional medication. Just a thought to park for the moment until you're ready.
Yep I've read a lot on NKC of late, supposedly the mother takes immunosuppressive drugs before treatment. Not sure what they will suggest. Our previous losses are most likely due to partners sperm antibodies, makes it almost impossible to get pregnant, but if I do then forces my body to reject the embryo. Would explain why only 3 natural pregnancies and losses over 16yrs and were all early. Our daughter however, it was placental abruption. In 50% of cases it's caused though infection, poor health, smoking etc causing the placenta to fail and tear. The other 50% there is no explanation. We're in the latter bracket and all postmortem results came back clear. Just have to wait til our next appointment, eugh I hate waiting!
Your so very right about infertility causing pain and grief though, absolutely, and I feel all too often forgotten grief til far into the process xx
Sorry to hear about your miscarriages and the battle with the NHS.
I've tried acupuncture and reflexology during the second round of treatment. I prefer the reflexology as I find it more relaxing so have continued to have this monthly in preparation for our 3rd round. I shall have accupuncture to prepare for and after ET.
If you like it and can afford it being relaxed might help.
I've had reflexology and was amazed amd intrigued how one lady even knew of my losses before I'd even told her! Unfortunately, I have the world's most ticklish feet, honest to god, each time with different people has been horrible and far from relaxing lol. Such a shame as I'd love to give it a go properly xx
Fortunately I'm not ticklish! She told me which was my dominant ovary and she was right, amazing what they can tell from your feet.
I've had 2 miscarriages from natural conceptions and found counselling helped. The second one was traumatic and took about 10 months before I could think of trying again and that was before we were told we needed ICSI. I'll never "get over" them but time has helped. Give yourself time to grieve and recover physically and emotionally.
Completely agree, you don't get over them at all, but the rawness softens. Been 16yrs and I still grieve my first loss.
Sorry for your losses xx
Wow life's hard knocks without an explanation is always harder to accept.... You have come so far and that shows just how strong you are. Give yourself time to grieve and mourn the loss, look after each other by a mere hug or gentle touch or smile if that's all you can muster in time you will be able to move forward.
I am about to embark or final round shortly and will be doing accupunture it's relaxing and not badly priced got a deal where I am which includes a massage after.
Thank you for your reply, and huge good luck for your final round!
Wow that's a good deal to have a massage with it! I'm keen to get started as soon as medically suitable because, let's be brutally honest, statistically speaking it's more likely for a woman to get pregnant after a pregnancy and less likely to miscarry. Medically I'm fertile, so need to give myself the best shot possible for success. I do understand needing to grieve, but honestly I still grieve our first loss 16yrs ago, there's just never a right time to start again, but there is a good time and we feel that is now.
Hey, I'm so sorry for your losses and everything you're going through. I had a miscarriage a few wks ago and have been going to acupuncture on a weekly basis to start off with and have found I've more energy and am sleeping better. Maybe it would be worth having some sessions closer together for 4wks say, then every 2wks or so, then once a month?
If money is tight and you're off work for medical reasons, you might be entitled to dla which could help pay for the treatment and improve your health.
Or have a clear out and sell all your old stuff on ebay? Mine was a bday present from my parents. I agree at £40 a session it is expensive but for me it's worth it.
We are having weekly sessions, the lady suggested that til 3 cycles are done, and we're incredibly lucky that she's only charging us for one session a time as we having them together. Yep, not returned to work, not sure if or when I can. The real kick in the pants, I work at a children's hairdressers as it's easier to avoid hair colouring there (not allowed to do hair colouring due to treatment), so literally surrounded by kids (and more scarier) mums and bumps all day long, may of which I've known for years and knew I was pregnant. Not entitled to dla as medically, I'm not ill and our baby was born 6wks too early to claim maternity leave, so on ssp. It's better than nothing, but obviously doesn't go far.
So very sorry for your loss. I'm glad your enjoying your acupuncture x
I have also started to meditate, you can download ones you pay for or free ones. I use a mix of both and fine them really relaxing and they ensure you get that 'YOU' time with your thoughts xxx
I've tried meditation, really struggled with it, but I've got a relaxation sleeping music app which I find helpful, but need earphone as it drives the other half loopy lol
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