Fertility Network UK
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Hospital appt what should I ask?

Hi, I'm back at the hospital on Mon seeing the consultant after our 2nd failed ICSI attempt. The appointment after the first attempt wasn't very positive, he basically shrugged his shoulders and said it should have worked! We're paying now so I'm not having that again!

Are there any questions I should be asking? We're unexplained been trying 4 years never had a positive result, this time I had a scrape, fragmin, intralipid drip and glue so threw everything at it and it still didn't work :-( we've got a frostie so will be having fet next time x

4 Replies

Our (private) consultant couldn't offer any particular explanations, except possibly my age. He couldn't say why I'd responded so differently in the 2 ICSI cycles. I found this rather frustrating, I also spoke to Diane Arnold (Infertility Network nurse) and she said the same. There seems to be so much they don't know about fertility. Diane sent me a list of questions that might be useful for you.

If you are over 40 be prepared for the suggestion of donor eggs, I wasn't prepared for that but apparently it's standard protocol for ladies over 40 after 2 failed cycles, I wish someone had told me that.

Good luck!


Hi pm27, do you have Dianes email address ? I have seen her post several times that she has a list of Qs to ask the consultant.

Im 34 so dont think will need to look at donor eggs yet, I dont think its something I could do as I have a step son and it would feel like the balance is in his favour again IYSWIM.

Good luck to you also x


I contacted her via this website, locate her profile (click on her user name on a post) and you can pm her direct.


Hi I agree with you ladies, in review meetings I sensed as if they did what they could do and nothing beyond that, which they knew. I discussed this feeling with my counseling officer at hospital. In my first attempt, I never knew what to ask and mine was telephonic appointment with female consultant, and I was emotionally wrecked at that time. Neither I knew what to expect or ask in review appointment. She called me very to the point and hung up. I felt as if I am left in a desert, but thanks God NHS offered counseling session, I kept clinging to that up till now. Then in second attempt I found myself internally devastated but somewhat composed outwardly. I made a face to face review and this time with make consultant. I was thinking on the lines of sperm or egg quality, medicine protocol. And he dealt with more comprehensively,but he explained medical science and its limitations as well. He said unfortunately we can not disturb embies once transferred, we can't supervise what's going on within 2ww. He said, all we can do is provide you medicinal help improve your body to respond friendly for development of embryo, that's we did, as In my case I am having no fertility issue it's a male factor. Then doctor explained limitations of knowledge about sperm. He says all we know is to guess sperm quality through morphology and that's what we did. And once 9 out of 12 eggs were fertilised they again predict quality of sperms. And he carried on with similar views that all we can do for you to get a healthy pregnancy is, to try with you until you consume frozen embies and then further. I am 36 and hubby is same age. Hope this info may help you in making your mind or may be I get better insight in what I should do anytime if I see fertility doctor.

Fingers crossed for all those in journey xx my heart rips into pieces to think of all ladies with me going through this rollercoaster, but eventually this forum is my refuge indeed. Xx keep smiling buddies xx


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