Pain is so bad.

Hello all. My pain is just getting worse. Am taking paracetamol and feminax together advice from my pharmacy. He also said if that does not help I need to do to gp to get prescribed stronger ones. Don't really want to do that. But may have to. I am not sleeping well at all either. I hate the though Mr of speaking to a counselling service. I have never been one to do so. I feel they won't know what to say to make any of what I'm feeling better. They can't change the fact that you see a baby in the street and want to cry and The feelings of that should be me. they can't change the pain we feel at the loss of this so so Much wanted baby. Anyway sorry for rubbish post. I am just very lost and have had enough right now. Dreading Christmas all together as this should have been a good one this year for us.

[babylonia]

Hi piglet12, firstly I am really sorry for your loss, there are no words which comfort you in such difficult time for you and your hubby. I am sure that it will take some time till you recover emotionally and physically from this awful experience. I hope you get well soon, my heart goes to you. Take care of yourself, now your health is most important. Xxx

[Katrina13]

Please don't dismiss counselling if you have no experience of it. I have a lot of very positive experience, and I know that people expect to go to see a counsellor so that that person can say things to make them feel better. This is not how it works, you go there so that you can say what you need to say, explain how you feel, and they just help you to understand and manage your own feelings. They don't offer words of comfort or magic solutions, they help you to understand how you can cope. It really can be an absolutely huge help.

Are you getting support from your gp?

[Anghun]

Thinking of you and sending big hugs xx

[Dee22]

Piglet, I am so sorry for your loss and that you are going through this. but I do understand some of what you feel. I have cried after seeing a pregnant woman go by, once I saw a family and had a panic attack and started crying in the street. Luckily I had my dogs so had to keep walking. But that was when I went to see a counsellor. I was skeptical as I'd seen one before for work stress and found her patronising. But this time it was a massive help. She explained things, let me talk, cry, whatever. She even gave me some relaxation techniques. I found her on the British infertility counselling association website. It might be worth a try, but only when you're ready. And about the pain, I would see your gp, you've been through enough without suffering with pain when you dont have to. Thinking of you. Big hugs xx

[Dee22]

Ps sorry for the essay!

[Filmgirl101]

Get something strong enough so you can sleep properly. It'll make decisions easier when you're rested. I recommend counselling. Your counsellor can be your sounding board for feelings and frustrations. I Don't know why it helped me, but it did. Miscarriages hurt physically and emotionally. I am very sorry for your loss.

[EmmaT88]

I am so so sorry to hear what you are going through, I just cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling right now. I would recommend counselling though, I have had a few sessions before and it has really helped. I do believe you have to find the right one for you though, I have been to a couple and I feel that you have to feel right with the counsellor for it to have any effect on you. But if you are able to find someone that you feel comfortable with then you just end up saying everything that is on your mind (some stuff you might not even realise you were thinking!), they will just say things to turn some of your thoughts to positive ones, its not an overnight process or anything but I would strongly recommend it!

Not sure if this is helpful or not as everyone is different.

So sorry for your loss xxx

[Hope23]

Oh hun. Sorry to hear you're in so much pain. It's horrid, I do know how you feel. I know nothing anyone can say will help take the physical and emotional pain away but I know exactly where yr at. But just to let you know my really bad pain lasted about 3-4 days, then it did ease off and became bearable. When I finally knew I was losing my dot, I actually took nurofen as it's a muscle relaxant and may target the pain a bit better.

I know what you mean about Xmas, I still feel heartbroken as I too thought this Xmas would be different and better. But I promise you, you will feel better soon. Next week when the pain has subsided you may feel strong enough to get ready for Xmas even if it's just buying lots of treats in for you both. Even though it still hurts me immensely (found out the other day my maid of honour, who I don't speak to anymore, incredibly selfish girl, has had a baby, I cried for hours) I do feel stronger and positive now, about the next attempt next year. And you will too my lovely, in time. You will both get through this because you both want to be parents, so your strength and desire for that will help you get through, and you have another attempt next year. Focus on that if you can. I know it's hard. I found a hot water bottle wrapped in a towel helped on my belly too. Take care. Rest up. Xx

[jsth1979]

I echo what has been said before. Don't dismiss counselling as it can be a real release for all those things that you feel you have to censor when you are talking to friends and family. I've had counselling in the past and in the beginning you do go in feeling skeptical and thinking what can they do but just being able to talk (or cry in my case) without that person feeling they've got to say or do the expected thing. Family and friends are brilliant don't get me wrong but a counsellor won't feel your pain and try to make things better: they will get you to talk it through and work out yourself how you can move forward when you're ready.

Be kind to yourself too... be with your hubby and face it all together x

[pm27]

Hi Piglet,

I'm so sorry you are suffering with the pain and loss. Perhaps you should go to your GP for stronger painkillers and something to help you sleep, insomnia is the last thing you need right now.

With regards to the counselling give it a try, it might help but it's not for everyone. I find it helps to say it out loud to someone who doesn't know you but hubby clams up, he only went as he knew I needed to. I find it helps get my head a bit clearer. Do whatever feels right for you, now might not be the time for counselling but it might be in a few weeks.

Sending you lots of love and hugs.

[Hopeful1982]

Hello Piglet, I cannot recommend counselling enough. I was feeling incredibly low, the pain of infertility was overwhelming me and I couldn't stop thinking about it which meant I was constantly crying. I was also very very angry about the situation. I was dreading Christmas. I didn't think counselling would help. I asked myself how was talking to a stranger was going to help afterall, I knew why I was sad.

I was so wrong. I read somewhere that counselling can be very 'empowering'. It was for me. I feel like I've regained control and have a renewed sense of optimism.

You're an incredibly strong woman Piglet and have been through so much more than I have but I still believe this could help.

Sending you lots of love x

[bella79]

Hi hun. I haven't been on in here for ages and I'm so heart broken to hear ur sad news. I'm truly so so sorry and know how devastated u must b. The whole process is so tough but to actually find out ur pregnant and then have it taken away must b unimaginably painful and cruel.I wish I could do or say something to take away the pain. Christmas looming just adds to the heartache. Don't put pressure on urself to feel better. Ur grieving and that kind of pain doesn't just go away in a couple of weeks. U need time to feel sad and adjust to ur loss. Please don't feel there is no hope tho as there still is. There are so many people that have success after several attempts. As for the counselling-I have found it really helpful, especially after my first failed round of ivf. Just like lots of people have said-it helps to talk to someone not involved. U can let urself cry and say the things that u are thinking without having to worry bout how this effects the other person. The counsellor made me release that I was grieving and it was normal. I felt like nobody understood as I was devasted about a life that hadn't even ever existed but through talking I realised it was a process that I had to get through in order to feel better (which I did) I'm not saying counselling will definitely work for u but it's worth giving it a try at least once. Sending u big hugs xxx

[Hidden]

Hello Piglet

I really really feel for you because I know exactly how you are feeling. Me and my husband have been going to a fertility counsellor for nearly 2 years and it has helped with the frustration and upset. I would definitely recommend it you will find the first session hard but it does get easier. Have you also thought about acupuncture I have been having this for nearly 3 years. I have had 2 sessions since I had my ectopic pregnancy and it really has helped physically and emotionally. I am still having my off days and the time of year isn't helping. I'm not looking forward to Christmas either (though never been a great lover of it anyway) you and I will get through it. I'm trying not to think about Christmas too much and will take it as it comes just like the other days for the past 2 weeks. I really think that fertility counselling in the New Year will help to get rid of a lot of your frustration and this will help your sleep. Sleep is vital for you now. Take Care. Tasha xx