Help! Mid flow of ivf cycle and my partner is saying he doesn't want to try again!

[Kh26]

Hello guys I'm literally so fresh to this site this is actually my first comment, I've been googling (my partner doesn't want to try ivf again) and come across this and thought it's exactly what I need!

I feel like I have no one to turn to!

I am 26 years old and we have been together for 5 years, my first round failed in November and actually as we know it was crushing I didnt do nothing but cried in bed all day! Anyway he knows how much I wanted to try again thinking it was a WE wanted to try and again,

I'm actually mid flow of the drug taking for my frozen cycle and I can tell he's not 100% in to it as he was the first time anyway we sat down and I've asked him about it all and he's saying that he doesn't really want to try again!!

What do I do??

It's wrong of me to carry on if he doesn't want to I hoping this can help me out I feel like I can't turn to my family as they all want me to have a baby I can't turn to my partner

[Militarywife7]

So sorry to hear that your going through this with your partner. This is tricky especially as you are already taking the medication. I would speak with him and explain how much this means to you, and ask him why has he changed his mind all of a sudden? Did he struggle coping with your last failed round? Hopefully he will change his mind and support you on this difficult journey xx

[Kh26]

Thank you, it came across my mind to send the drugs back but as you've said I'm still taking them just in case he changes his mind I really do not want to give up the opportunity as it's just around the corner, he just saying that the last round ruined it for him he wasn't trying to get his hopes up but yeah I think it crushed him too he doesn't really express his emotions often :/ thank you for your reply i really need the help xx

[Militarywife7 in reply to Kh26]

I don't believe you can send the drugs back I think you need to have a good heart to heart about the future. Its a really difficult process but we need to keep on fighting to get there. This process is all down to luck, and nothing is ever guranteed. Maybe try discussing his fears? The clinics also offer counselling sessions I believe? so this could be an option too xxx

[Kh26 in reply to Militarywife7]

Your right!! As I've said before I do not want to chuck this opportunity away. We both agreed due to only having 4 embryos I had 3 frozen and 1 fresh the 1 embie decided they didn't want to stick so we were going to try one frozen and this was the last time but I think with the heartbreak of the 1st cycle it's just threw us slightly. Xxx

[Militarywife7 in reply to Kh26]

I can totally see where your coming from and I would feel the same way. I would explain that you need his support more than ever with the process. It only takes one little embryo to work, and im sure he would be ecstatic. I can imagine the difficulty and emotions that came with the first failed cycle. I just hope he can pull through to give it another shot. I wish you all the best of luck sweetheart xx

[Kh26 in reply to Militarywife7]

Thank you so much, I'm not sure if it's the drugs or not but I'm so happy and glad I've found this site there so many lovely people on here haha 😂 Xx

[Militarywife7 in reply to Kh26]

The drugs cause all sorts of emotions 😂 but this forum is a god send - everyone is incredibly supportive and helpful. We are here for you if you need us 💗 xx

[LunaLovegood11]

Aww sending hugs, this must be so hard xxx

It’s hard for the guys involved and maybe he was a bit overwhelmed by it all, and thought you’d be lucky first go and was understandably upset too.

Maybe have a good chat, you could even use a counsellor to help facilitate it if it gets too hard. He probably doesn’t want the emotional highs and lows again (who would?!) but now is your chance to fight for what you both want. It’s getting to what’s driving this - is it the IVF process that he doesn’t want, is he still keen to have a baby?

Explain how you feel if you stopped now, how you’d feel if you looked back in 10 years time with regret not giving it a good go.

Stay strong together as you were both there in it as a team before there was talk of a family. Wishing you both all the love and luck and baby dust xxx

[Kh26 in reply to LunaLovegood11]

Thank you so much Luna and yes your right I think it will sit him down later and have another chat I did try and got so far with the talk.

And yeah he still wants children and I know I really don't want to lose this shot and I'm pretty sure he won't either xxx

[LunaLovegood11]

I guess it’s a tough patch to get through that’s fraught with all sorts of ups and downs... You’ll get through it, hopefully with a little bundle, but if things don’t work out then at least we can all say we tried our best xxx

[Kh26]

I did say that to him at least we can say we've tried this will be our last chance though it's so hard going physically and mentally it's very tough xxx

[LunaLovegood11]

It is, and this forum is brilliant as everyone is so supportive and helpful and it’s a little lifeline xx