My head is all over the place

Hi as most of you know I gave birth to my baby girl 10 days ago . She is our little miracle

And we are so lucky to have her xx

Just this morning I received a letter from my clinic asking what we want done with our other frozen embryos.

I can't believe we have received this so soon after the birth of our little girl.

Thing I wanted to ask is my head is now all over the place . We both don't want to think about what to do with our embryos so soon . I've cried all day as I'm not ready to make a desision on what I want to do next . They say if they havent heard from us then they will send us a bill for more treatment. Surely we should be given time to think about our next steps ???? Plus I think this letter has arrived at the wrong time .

My head hurts and I just don't know what to do .

I just want some advice

Thanks

[Autumnmoon]

What a shame this has come now I agree they should have timed it better maybe they will agree to giving you a bit more time to come to a decision in the meantime enjoy your beautiful little daughter and don't let anything spoil this precious time x

[Lynnr54]

I agree with Autumnmoon. What bad timing! After you’ve just given birth your hormones and head are all over the place not to mention the sleep deprivation so now is probably not the best time to be making big decisions. Have they told you how much the storage cost is likely to be? Could you afford to suck it up for a year and then worry about your decision next year? Or the other alternative is ignore the letter, let them bill you and then see how long the invoice says you have to pay before they destroy your embryos. Last year I think I had about 6 months to pay before they were going to destroy them, although this year it’s only 3 months. Once you know how long you’ve got then you can give yourselves a bit more time to make a decision x

[embiemomma]

the timing of this letter is to do with storage times, with NHS (and presumably private) eggs, sperm and embryos get stored on a 12 month basis. I presume it has been 12 months (or coming up to) since they were first stored? our letter arrived when our little boy was 4 months old. We were unsure so decided to pay for another year, it was £200 i think. I would say, if you're not sure, pay it. You don't want to make a decision now and regret it later. We weren't sure, and still aren't and it's coming up to our second year! I'll probably pay again and then make a decision in the next year as I'm 36 and getting older!

[Leesalou]

That’s quick ours are kept for 3 years then they write to ask to ask what we are doing with them,

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter x

[Laura3101]

We got our letter when our daughter for 3 months old as it was coming up to nearly a year from transfer so we just chose to pay for storage for another year as they said if they didn’t hear from us they would just destroy the embryo! It was £300 we paid but we can decide later what we want to do which made me feel a lot less stressed. Xx

[Hidden]

Thank you everyone . I rang my clinic today as I have received my bill already too £380 for frozen embryos . Was told if my family is complete then destroy embryos . It's just not that simple . My head is all over the place and yes £380 isn't that much to keep them for another year but I have paid to keep them frozen for the past 2 years and I'm just not sure what to do . My clinic hasn't helped at all .

Guess I'm going to have to make a decision but it's going to be really hard deciding what to do

[Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to Hidden]

I’ll be blunt about my opinion: You need to pay it. You are in no kind of head space to make a decision about destroying frozen embryos and I’m

certain you would regret it if you did. If necessary, apply for a 0% credit card to cover the cost for a few months. It’s awful timing, I really feel for you. Maybe later on you can investigate whether to move them to a clinic with cheaper storage? (I don’t know if this exists)

[Hidden in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Hi it's not about the cost it's whether or not to carry on . Not an easy decision to make so early after becoming a mammy 😱

[Kezbag in reply to Hidden]

Pay for the storage and make your decision at a later date when you’re better able to make an informed decision. Either that or phone the clinic and explain how you’re feeling and see if they will give you some time. Try not to get yourself into a state about it now, it’s not worth it. Please don’t make a decision now that you might regret later x

[Hidden in reply to Kezbag]

Thank you for your message . They have decided to give us a couple of weeks to make a decision now so feeling a lot better than I did .

[Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to Hidden]

I’m so glad to hear this x

[Devj]

Congratulations on the birth of your little girl. Enjoy your time as parents!

This happened to us too. We had a letter just after my little one was born asking us if we would like them to continue storing our embryos to let them know and they would send us a bill. We got 12 months free and this came after that which happened to coincide with the birth if my little one just like you. I think it’s to do with storage times and policy more than anything else but agree it’s not good timing at all is it. We paid to keep them for another year and thought nothing of it until the following year. We’re about to go through it again now my little one is 2 and half and it was always an option for us to try again. I would maybe pay for another year and perhaps give it more thought next year when your head’s a little clearer. It’s such a whirlwind all this isn’t it. Take care xx

[Elle_9]

Congratulations on your baby and it’s unfortunate timing. I had a very traumatic birth with my baby and now I’m experiencing secondary infertility issues.

If you had asked me 10 days after the birth, would I like to have another baby I would have yelled NO WAY!! 1.5 years later and we are desperately hoping to get pregnant again.

If you can find the money to buy yourself a little bit more time to see how you feel in 12 months, you can forget about it, with the added peace of mind that the option is there if you want to consider it later down the line.