16 weeks and having a panic

[ButtercupGarden]

Hi ladies, so I've made it to 16 weeks and I'm having a bit of a panic. I suddenly feel totally un-pregnant. Bump doesn't seem to have got any bigger than it was at about 11 weeks, in fact this week I swear it has got smaller than the last couple of weeks as I seem to be able to fit in certain trousers again. It feels like an absolute age since the last scan, and another age until the next one. I know I'm probably being irrational but any advice on how to get over this period? I've got my midwife appointment tomorrow but other than having another scan to check on the baby, I'm not sure anything is going to quell my anxiety and dark thoughts!

[Ltry]

I swear we are living parallel lives! I have been feeling exactly the same the last few days. Bump feeling smaller or lower, swear my boobs feel smaller and I keep prodding them to see if they feel soft, and just generally feeling like nothing is going on. I have read that this is normal around this time and we should enjoy feeling relatively 'normal' but it's just making me paranoid. I have midwife on Wednesday and we should hear the heartbeat then but I am getting myself in a panic again thinking she won't be able to find it. Sorry I don't have much advice on how to get through it but feeling slightly better that someone else is feeling the same way!

[ButtercupGarden in reply to Ltry]

Oh god yes I think we are! Thanks for replying, I'm sorry you are having the same panic! It's awful isn't it? I've been doing the same with my boobs, I think they are smaller and less painful than they have been. I would also love to be able to feel the baby but nope nothing. I even got paranoid this morning about not having had to get up for a wee in the middle of the night. I think I'm losing it! Going to try to get through to the midwife appt tomorrow and hope she listens for the heartbeat. If not, may have to just go for a private scan (but that brings its own anxieties!) Gahhhhh.

[Ltry in reply to ButtercupGarden]

Genuinely think we might be the same person... Also worrying that I didn't need to get up to wee over the weekend. Also been having really bad hip pain at night but that seems to be getting slightly better too. We have decided no private scans because I just can't cope with the build up and the only place near us that does them is the place we found out we'd had a MMC so we don't want to go back there. My midwife appointment is at 16+6 so after that it's only 3 weeks to my 20 week scan so hoping if everything is ok this week I will be able to get myself through to then!

[Hidden]

I am so sorry you are struggling but I can only assume it's kind of normal to worry at around this time as I remember I lost the plot a bit between 16 and 18 weeks! I went through a week of being convinced the worst had happened and baby had died. I felt my bump was a lot smaller, my sore boobs were a lot less and I generally didn't feel pregnant any more. I had a midwife appt at 17 weeks and I was terrified about asking her to listen to the heartbeat in case she didn't find it and it made me panic even more! Anyway everything was fine, she listened for a heartbeat and it was there. I think it's natural to worry as you are kind of midway through that horrific 8 week wait between 12 weeks and 20 weeks that goes on FOREVER!!! but hopefully in a few weeks time you will start to feel some movement and you will feel better. To be honest my bump didn't really 'pop' until about 22/23 weeks and I didn't feel real movement to about 19/20 weeks so don't panic yet! An extra scan will help some people but I found any scan or heartbeat only really reassured me for a day or so and then I was worried again!! This whole pregnancy has been a worry for me and I am still worrying now! Speak to your midwife about it and she may refer you to Talking Therapies or similar who are very good. Deep breaths, I am sure all is fine! Good luck xx

[ButtercupGarden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Daisy. It does feel like a weird no man's land at the moment, and I don't understand at all why boobs and bump would suddenly feel smaller but it is good to know I'm not alone in having these thoughts! I will speak to the midwife again, she did suggest talking therapy at my booking appointment but I never acted on it which is silly of me really. Just keeping all my fingers and toes crossed that I'm being paranoid and everything is ok! Hope all is well with you too? Xxx

[Savvy_teapot]

Similarly felt like a long time between scans. I asked to hear the heatbeat they said they didn't usually do it at that 16 16 week appointment but they did for me. My boobs feel just as they always have I think for me those changes will come nearer to birth and I am 28 weeks and bump is only more obvious recently. Feeling the baby may not come until after 20 weeks. The 2nd trimester is weird as you start to feel better. I found joining a pregnancy yoga class helpful to feel more normal amongst other pregnant women. Maybe write down your worries and talk them through with your midwife 💜

[ButtercupGarden in reply to Savvy_teapot]

Thank you. I started a pregnancy yoga class which I really enjoyed but somehow made me feel even more like an imposter as everyone looked so pregnant! I'm going to keep going though as it was definitely helpful and I just need to get over the pregnancy imposter syndrome!

[Zeebee14 in reply to ButtercupGarden]

I joined a pregnancy yoga class at 16 weeks too and felt like an imposter as everyone had bumps and I didn’t.

I watched other people there leave and have their babies, not quite believing it would be my turn, However my bump grew and I’m now 38 weeks, had my last yoga session last week and it’s my turn to have a baby!

Try not to worry (easier said than done), your feelings are normal and your bump will grow!

[ButtercupGarden in reply to Zeebee14]

Yay, so exciting that you are nearly there! Xxx

[Savvy_teapot in reply to ButtercupGarden]

I felt like an imposter at 15 weeks at the yoga. But figured those had been there before and were now leaving....my time will come. For me it is a nice time to focus on myself and baby and practice my breathing and relax my body 😍

[AuroraXen]

I wish I'd asked for a heartbeat listen at my 16 week midwife appointment (actually I was 18 weeks when I had it)! I missed an opportunity 😆 The midwife didn't offer it and I knew some Trusts don't do it anymore, not that early anyway, so I didn't ask. I have however been surviving through private scans, though I totally understand that these aren't for everyone! If you have massive anxiety in the lead-up (let's face it, who doesn't!) and the effect only lasts for a day afterwards, it probably isn't worth it. I'm in awe of you ladies who hold out from 12-20 weeks, you're so strong! I've had 2 since week 13 and my 20 week anomaly scan isn't until Monday 🥰 I have to say they DO help me personally: I have a good 10 days of reassurance after each, then back to wondering if something's gone wrong again, sigh. It really is just grit teeth and survive from one week to the next at this stage I fear 😢 If it helps, my boob soreness has definitely waxed and waned since I entered my 2nd trimester! Back to quite sore again today, but didn't really notice it a month ago, now I think of it. It's so hard as it's too early for most people to feel anything, so it's a real exercise in faith! Sending lots of love xx

[ButtercupGarden in reply to AuroraXen]

I think the scans definitely help my anxiety for about a week or so, before I go back to worrying. I'm going to ask the midwife about listening for a heartbeat today and if she doesn't do it, I'll book in for a scan this week which will hopefully tide me over to 20 weeks. I've been resisting the private scans because I worry that then I'll just want more!

[Lolalules]

just adding in that my bump got smaller and then bigger again around this time - it’s due to the hormones levelling out a bit. Progesterone bloats you a lot and as this levels from first trimester (which is a lot of bloat) it reduces a bit before popping out around 20+ weeks. My boobs also stopped being sore for a few weeks.

So hard not to panic (i still do at 23 weeks!) but wanted to share i had that same experience and 20 week scan was ok 👍

[ButtercupGarden in reply to Lolalules]

Thank you for sharing this, it makes me feel much better!

[Jumpppy]

Same - I purchased a doppler on Amazon for around 30quid + gel. Anytime (from 13 weeks) I feel anxious I'll pull it out. IVF pregnancy equivalent to peeing on sticks in the early BFP days/weeks.

[ButtercupGarden in reply to Jumpppy]

I have been tempted to buy one of these but then worry that I'll get addicted to doing it (much the same as peeing on sticks!) Is it easy to use?

[Jumpppy in reply to ButtercupGarden]

Super easy...gel is expensive 😉 I have anterior placenta so I had to learn where to go to not hear placenta lol. (Owlet had a pregnancy band that they didn't release 😞 that was my lifesaver last go and I sorely miss - it tracked all night and whenever I get anxious. There may be a similar product available.)Once you feel kicks all the time you wean yourself off of doppler.

[ButtercupGarden]

Just an update. Had my midwife appointment and they listened for the heartbeat and it was there nice and loud which made me feel about a zillion times better. Seemed like baby is still hanging out very low down which I guess might be why I feel like the bump isn't growing. Hopefully just me over analysing everything! Thanks for all your words of support! Xxx

[Ltry in reply to ButtercupGarden]

Phew, my midwife appointment was also ok today! We heard the heartbeat and I was surprised by how low baby was too. My midwife was really nice and has booked me in for an extra appointment at 22 weeks so I can hear the heartbeat again. Just got to get through 3 weeks until scan now...

[ButtercupGarden in reply to Ltry]

Ah this is great news! Nice to have the extra appointment too. I'll probably end up in a panic again by 23 weeks and be begging for an appointment! Trying to stop myself thinking about it now and just got to push through to the 20w scan!

[StarsAllAround]

Hi buttercup I was the same at around 16 weeks didn't feel pregnant at all as morning sickness other pregnancy symptoms I had in first few weeks had disappeared and I felt like bump was smaller. I went for a private reassurance scan at 16 weeks and was convinced there would be no baby to see. But all was fine I'm now 34 weeks. It wasn't till I could feel baby moving around 19 weeks for me I started to feel pregnant. I think it's common around this time not to feel pregnant as symptoms from 1st trimester disappear and it can a few weeks to start to feel baby move. Try not to worry 🙂