Early pregnancy support

[Purple276]

Hi all,

I feel super privileged that I can join this group after my positive test from my 6th Embryo transfer in September.

I am like many of you in that long old wait for viability scan. I've got mine on 3rd Nov when I think I'll be about 8 weeks.

How to stop those negative thoughts creaping in? I start to think optimistically and then it's hard to not get carried away planning what we need to do to the house, or who we tell when etc but then panic what if we have a MMC again and the heartbreak is even worse?!

Think I'm having a spiral day today but so hard to not think about it ever minute of the day 🤦🏼‍♀️ What worked for any of you? Thanks!

[Gempuddleduck]

Hiya, congrats on your BFP! I got mine after my 6th transfer too and am now 28 weeks. Do you know what, I think it would be so strange after all we’ve been through if we DIDN’T worry. So don’t beat yourself up for having negative thoughts. I had them too and I just had to keep telling myself that I just had to let my body do what it was supposed to do and everything was out of my control. I could only stay healthy and look after myself as best I could. I also feel it’s an ideal time to milk support, love and care from the other half. 😂Wrap yourself in a bubble and remember that you can only do your best. I will keep everything crossed for you and will hope time goes quickly until your scan xxxx

[Purple276 in reply to Gempuddleduck]

Thank you Gem, and congrats on being 26 weeks - that's great news!

I keep telling myself that it's no surprise I feel like this but I can only control certain things so yes, I must just be kind and take it easy on myself! Need to stop looking too far ahead and just focus on the next couple of days.

[Hidden]

First of all congrats on your BFP!!

I agree with Gem, its 100% normal. Unfortunately for most of us on this forum who have struggled to get pregnant or keep pregnant the worry and the 'it can't really be happening' is inevitable. Honestly I have been truly hopeless, I have panicked if I am cramping, panicked if I am not, panicked if I haven't had symptoms, panicked if I had symptoms and they meant something was wrong.. you name it I have been a prophet of doom about the whole thing (and between you and me continue to be!! I don't think I will believe I could be 'this lucky' until my baby is in my arms). Unfortunately there is no magic fix but what I do recommend is reminding yourself there is only so much you can influence, so focus on doing all the right stuff (diet/exercise/rest/vitamins/mindfulness etc) so at least you then feel a bit more in control as you are DOING something, and secondly its such a cliche but when I am really bad I just remind myself 'just get through today and its another day done'. I have even been known to go to bed crazy early just to tick that day off the list. Its slowly dragging me through this pregnancy day by day! Its not easy but you have an amazing bunch of people on this forum who have either been through it or are going through it and can provide you with so much 'this is normal' type feedback so don't be afraid to ask and hopefully the weeks will start speeding up for all of us!! Congrats again xx

[Purple276 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your reply Daisy and while I'drather no-one go through this it is super helpful to have this support group!

Another day almost done! 😊

[Hidden]

Congratulations! I cannot add anymore wise words....but one thing that helps me is thinking that I can't control it. I can only look after myself and nature will hopefully take it's course.

I am awful at waiting in between scans! So no advice for that unfortunately.

fingers crossed you have a healthy pregnancy - I am sure you will

[Purple276 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you and the same to you

[Savvy_teapot]

Yes defo recommend taking it one week or day at a time. I am 12 weeks and not able to think too far ahead. I think looking after my health is my priority and trying to save some money. We have stuff we could do to house but just waiting for a bit longer. There isn't a rush just yet!

[Purple276 in reply to Savvy_teapot]

i think planning always kept me sane everytime it didn't work so feels odd to stop that! Congratulations for being 12 weeks and taking it day by day will be my new mantra!

[Savvy_teapot in reply to Purple276]

I suppose do whatever helps you!

[StarsAllAround]

Congratulations on your BFP 🥳. I think everyone who has experienced loss and/or fertility issues struggles with negative thoughts and the belief it is real when they finally get that BFP so don't be too hard on yourself. We've all been there and we are all here for you. Try and find things to keep your mind busy like binge watching a TV series, try a new hobby, plan little treats for you and your OH like a day out, fancy meal trip to cinema etc. Basically anything that keeps your mind focused on anything else. And remember you can't control what happens so always be kind to yourself.