Rant grrrrrrrr :(: So I have just came on... - Endometriosis UK

Endometriosis UK

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Rant grrrrrrrr :(


So I have just came on to have a bit of a rant really and let of a bit of steam as I am so stressed right now.

Once again I am so annoyed with work, where do I begin. So I have a date for my Lap finally and went and told the HR lady who deals with all sickness and holidays last Friday of this date and that I would be taking around 8 days of work to recover just to make her aware of what was happening. I did mention to her months ago that this would be happening and just pre warning her a bit really that I will be having some sick time of for this Lap. So last week I confirmed the dates with her and time and things.

Well this morning came and my new supervisor (that girl who had me dragged in the managers office a few weeks back grr) informs me that our main manager is not happy with me as I should of gone to him first to ask him if it would be ok to go for my Lap and to have the time of for it as he was not aware of it at all even though I told HR months ago and no one made me aware at that time that I had to go and ask his permission it has taken them this long to mention it to me even though I had this arranged months ago. So now they are all been very arsey with me and it is making me feel very down and stressed just been here I need a new job desperately, I just feel bad now that I am having the time of leaving them in them busy here at work as they say.

Well on a good note I have something to look forward to 2 weeks today I will be in having my Lap yay, I am so excited. Lately I am feeling like I am getting worse, last night I had constant nose bleeds which after a while were settling also on my chest so spent most the night coughing up blood which was annoying and painful after a while. My pains in my lower tummy are getting so much worse each day I am constantly bloated and putting on so much weight I feel like I have barbed wire around my tummy and each day it is been pulled tighter and tighter around me I am in so much pain.

Right one more question, sorry to rabble on ladies.

So I have my Lap on the 24th so 2 weeks today. I have read on a couple of sites that you have to stop taking your contraceptive pill a few weeks before the lap and on others it says you do not have to stop taking it.

I was just wondering do I stop taking my pill or not? I am so confused


18 Replies

If you're coughing up blood then I'd go straight to A&E hun, that's not normal...xx

x_b_x in reply to missteal

It has stopped today which is good, I think it was because I had a nose bleed and it was running down the back of my throat and settling, I do not think it was anything serious, I feel ok today just a bit chesty because it has all settled there.


So sorry to hear your having all these problems at work aswell as everything else that you have going on you really just dont need it.

I think its discusting how they are treating you and cant beleive they are making such a fuss, ive just come back to work after 2 weeks off sick, after having my lap the hospital gave me a 2 week sick note which i informed work of they didnt even want me to come back after that and are constantly checking up on me ( they literally wont leave me alone!) think im just very lucky for all the support but your employer has a duty of care to make sure u are ok. If only it was as simple to leave and get another job.

My thoughts are with you and good luck with the lap.xxxx

x_b_x in reply to doubleL

I wish my work was like that, all they have done is moan since I have mentioned that I will need time of.

It is so annoying here cannot wait to find another job and get away from this place x

In reality honey you may need more than that off, every op is different and some people are fine after a week, whereas others need 8 weeks depending on whats been done. My consultant said about 2-4 weeks and then after 4 weeks he said either 2 more weeks or part time: as long as you have sick note they legally cannot take any action against your employment.

Good luck!x

x_b_x in reply to Cloudyrain

I wish I could have more time of, really cannot afford to though and I am not sure whether you can get like any benefits or anything to help you when you have time of but really cannot afford to have a lot of time of.

I am having 8 working days of but with the weekends I have 14 days of as its bank holiday to so that's a good thing.

Will be so glad to have it done just so excited want it to come around already x

Hiya I know you have a lot on your plate but please try and make contact with your local citizens advice bureau to find out your rights. Employment law and disabilty laws have moved on a lot even in the last few years. They say knowledge is power so make sure you know your rights so you can defend yourself when being treated unfairly at work. On your other question I was not told to stop taking my pill before my lap and took it up to the day before my lap. Good Luck and keep us posted on how you are doing x

x_b_x in reply to kellykeloggs

thank you for your message. I am just so annoyed here, this girl that they have just made supervisor she is vile had me in the managers office twice the other week saying I was not doing my job and I am nasty to here and things and I thought what a load of rubbish when I tried fighting my case saying what a load of rubbish it was and they just took her side is so annoying then it topped the biscuit making her supervisor now all she seems to do is boss me around and things. I need to get another job fast but it is so hard to now days. x

oh hun I don't know what to say! That workplace are disgusting! It is not up to a manager to say if you can have an op or not! I am in shock that the horrid lady is now a supervisor! Just what someone like that needs..more power! No wonder why you are so grrrrrrr! I would send an email to the manager, explaining how long you have been suffering with endo, that this lap is a long time coming and does require time after to recoup. That you have mentioned it to HR a long time ago and others during meetings and was not told that he had to be informed. I would also raise how you are not happy how you are being dealt with and feel as though you are being discriminated for an illness you have no control over. Like kellykellogs said get some advice from the citizen advice bureau and add bits that they say into the email.

I cannot wait for your Lap to come about so you can escape that horrid place! Please do not rush back before you are ready as they certainly won't appreciate it or thank you for it. You are entitled to full pay whilst signed off and then after a certain amount of time they have to pay statutory sick pay.

Wish I could do more to help. Sending you big huge squidgy hugs x

x_b_x in reply to squidgy


Thanks for the reply. I am so frustrated right now, just sat at work on here I cannot be bothered anymore. She just sent me an email saying it has been brought to my attention then you spend most of the working hours browsing the internet, and its like god I have got all my work done in the morning and with f**k all to do what do you expect me to do I really do not have the attitude at the moment do anything I could not care less. I spend most my time on here at work looking for other jobs I am that desperate.

To be honest I do not think it will make any difference if I tell them how unhappy I am, I tried doing that in that meeting I had when I got dragged in with her and look how that turned out they made her supervisor didn't even interview me for the position just gave it to her. She isn't doing a very good job of it, she lets the new girl sit texting on her phone all day and be cheeky and gets to stressed with loads of work so do not know what they were thinking when they decided that.

I cannot wait for my Lap just to get away from here for 2 weeks will be heaven I wont want to come back and the time in which I have of when I feel a bit better I am going to use that time to try and get another job hopefully.

Just sat at my desk right now and I want to cry to be honest, I wish I could afford to quit but I really cant not until I know I have something else to go to it sucks x

squidgy in reply to x_b_x

I hate it when there is one rule for some and another rule for others. I was in a situation where someone got away with being on their mobile, ringing their family, looking up stuff on internet all the time whilst I was busy getting the work done and then when had free time looking up stuff on internet. But it was me who they highlighted! That person too was so far up the stupid manager's ass that she could do nothing wrong! Keep a record of it all and save the emails from her. Bless ya it not nice or easy. Hope today has gone better for you. I am surprised you are not signed off with stress or depression as they r so rubbish to you and with everything you are having to deal with on top of that!

Big hugs x

x_b_x in reply to squidgy

yep well I just come on the net and browse once I have my work all done and awaiting calls or more emails to come through I am constantly answering the phone because they cannot be bothered and the new girl does not want to answer the phones and our supervisor lets her do this it is so annoying.

I wish I could sign of as stressed, but I could not afford been just on sick pay I struggle a lot with the wage in which I am on now let alone getting less I really do not know what to do x

squidgy in reply to x_b_x

I agree with what lillyflower, impatient and yellow rose have said. I know it the last thing u want to do is be signed off but for the sake of your health, both mental and physical, please don't put it off. I was in that boat and I pushed it out too far that the swim back was shark infested and took longer than if I had abandoned ship earlier! Remember you are entitled to full wage for I think at least 6 months so you would be in no different position financially and you would be away from them. (I am not saying you will need 6 months). Are you on any anti-depressants? If not maybe see your GP about it. It is nothing to be ashamed of although that is how it feels (I speak from personal experience). They don't cure it but they sure as hell make it easier for your mind to cope with everything.

Def try not use the work computer for anything but work as then they have no counter argument.

Hi that's great you got your date and two weeks off work. Busy or not they have no right to make you feel bad for taking time off ! I agree with Squidgy that putting the facts in writing is a good idea even though things have been said putting it in writing means you don't have to get stressed in a room with her arguing your point but just lay the facts out and then no one can argue they weren't informed. I would clarify that it is essential surgery and copy the Jr into email too. You are entitled to full pay for several weeks with a minimum of staturatry sick pay as a minimum but that's if it was months you have off so you will be fine.

Try to let their comments go over your head and 2 weeks away and with results from your op I'm sure you will be able to cope better after until you find your new job. While your getting lots of rest you can be looking for jobs from your bed and fingers crossed something will come up! If she's not great at her job you never know by the time your due back they may sack her! Well you can hope!

Just look after yourself and ignore her as much as you can. I've just had a bad cough and cold all weekend and the coughing really agrivated my stomach pains all my muscles ache! So if you've been coughing I'm sure that hasn't helped I've overdosed on sleep and actually feel human again today !

So take a deep breath keep thinking positive you have your lap and answers are coming and your health is so much more important than any idiot at work!! X

Lol I've just read I put Jr!!! Oops must have been thinking about Dallas! I ment HR !! Lol

Your employer is playing hard ball. They want you to resign rather than have to pay you 6 months sick leave. You are entitled to 6 months per financial year of statutory sick pay. Seems to me like they are making your life a misery to get you out before it comes to that.

Stay with them, or get signed off with stress (which you are certainly under awaiting the op and with what's happening at work) and then post op you will probably need quite a bit more than 2 weeks off work. But don't tell them that.

See how you go, and then ask your GP to sign you off for a further 2 weeks or more, once you are off sick, then send that sick note in to them. That way you are avoiding confrontation with hostile forces while you are recovering. .

There is nothing they can do about you needing time off and getting paid sick pay while off.

They are obliged to pay you SSP.

If they do fire you, you have a very good claim for constructive dismissal regards the way they have handled your operation leave.

Though I would cautiion you not to use the internet at work to look for jobs elsewhere or post on this forum etc.

That is abuse of your work computer and is grounds for dismisal.

Most companies do keep a check on the keypad entries made by their staff on computers. they will know what websites you visit, how long you are on them, and what you wrote on them too.

If you want to use a computer at work, take your own laptop or iphone. That way they can't monitor your every online move, though cctv might show you using the machine if you're not discrete about it.

I totally understand you don't want to work for them anymore if they are not prepared to support you, but meanwhile you have an op coming up, and they must pay you your sick pay while yo are absent, so don't resign until you are through the operation and sick leave.

You can look for alternative jobs in your convalescence after the op. Nothing to stop you doing that.

Thank you everyone for all the advice, don't know what I would do without you all, least I know I have you guys to talk to.

Well this time in 2 weeks hopefully I will be at home resting and I will actually have some kind of answer to what is wrong.

I feel so stressed and depressed my anxiety is becoming so much worse think I need to mention it to them when I go for my pre op as the pain I can grin my teeth and bare with but the thoughts and my head at the moment I am finding it hard to cope with my emotions :(

Thank you everyone for all the advice, don't know what I would do without you all, least I know I have you guys to talk to.

Well this time in 2 weeks hopefully I will be at home resting and I will actually have some kind of answer to what is wrong.

I feel so stressed and depressed my anxiety is becoming so much worse think I need to mention it to them when I go for my pre op as the pain I can grin my teeth and bare with but the thoughts and my head at the moment I am finding it hard to cope with my emotions :(

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