Feeling like a failure as a women

[Nubian28]

44 years old, had hysterectomy at 39 kept cervix and ovaries, everything was brilliant fir about 18 months, I was actually living life after suffering with endometriosis and andomyosis for over 20 years. Sex life with husband had increased dramatically, mood swings had gone, no more bleeding and no more pain and then boom it all changed again, vagina got so sore, it was so itchy, hot flushes were driving me mad and libido just hit the the floor, multiple orgasams are now non existent and I'm lucky if I get any sensation down there let alone a orgasim through penetrative sex. Docs prescribed HRT evrol patches and pessaries about a year later after blood test showed I was in full menopause after I kept telling them but them not listening to me.

I feel like if it's not one thing its another and I am so frustrated and to top it off I now am suffering from vaginal prolapse which are making my symptoms even worse , I want yo scream and now have to wait how many months to get an appointment for the pessary clinic. I feel like a failure as a women, my body has never done what it is suppose to do.

No one talks about the nitty gritty of having a hysterectomy, now I sit and think was it all worth it should I have just stuck it out and not had it done. I'm only 44 and when I hear of other people's sex life I feel so ashamed as half the time sex is the last thing on my mind and although my husband is understanding he had lived through everything with the endo with me and now has to go through all this ****

[Username12345678]

Hello lovely, I’m so sorry that you are feeling like this. Endo/adeno are such horrible diseases that rob us of so many things 🥲 you are not a failure as a women (although I can totally understand why you feel like that after all you have been and are going through). I don’t have much to say that can help but I did want to comment and say that you are not alone. Personally I have found yoga has helped me managed certainly with the mindful aspect of the classes that I’ve been lucky to find locally. If you haven’t tried it already it might help. I recently read about how stress affects the pelvic area particularly if you have suffered from trauma in that area as you have described so finding a good pelvic health specialist might also help. Big hugs to you. If it ever helps, DM for a chat x

[Nubian28 in reply to Username12345678]

Thank you so much for your reply. I waw exercising regularly but since been back from hols and the prolapse I have not had the motivation but I have promised myself that I'm going to get back on my A game this week, change my diet, speak to my docs etc as this really can't be what life is all about.

Don't get me wrong since I had my hysterectomy I have done my law degree something I have always wanted to do and even received 1st class honours which would not of been possible before and now my career is kicking off, now preparing to take solicitor exams and also being provided with a brilliant opportunity aswell as starting a charity but I just now need all this stuff to be sorted so I can feel some sense of normality.

Thank you for listening