Feeling like a failure

Hi, feeling lost and struggling with life now and not knowing where to turn. Many years ago I started to struggle with periods etc and visited the doctor for help, which was a waste of time as all they said was take pain killers!! So I got on with life managing as best I could. Then 4 years ago my husband and I started trying for a family with no luck. So we visited the doctors again and was sent for testing with resulted in finding out I had endometriosis following a laparoscopy. The hospital was able to clear up my right tube but had to leave the left tube as this would risk damaging my bowel. I was then advised that if I did not fall pregnant within the next 6 months my only chance to have a baby would be through Ivf. Then came the news that I no longer qualified for Ivf on the NHS as the age limit in my area was 35 and I was at the time a few weeks away from that. So I had to go private for Ivf which so far I have had 1 failed attempt and am looking at trying again shortly. Life however though has become a daily struggle as since has the laparoscopy the endometriosis has become worse with periods like clockwork but lasting 2 weeks with so many pains etc. No one around me seems to understand and everyone is falling pregnant around me and all I seem to do is cry these days. So Iast week I went to the doctor again to get some help and felt like I was wasting there time again and all they offered me was anti depressants or a number of a councillor if I wanted to talk to someone!!!! Sometimes I feel like what is the point anymore when all I want is a family (baby) and that justs seems impossible with this horrid disease.

5 Replies

  • I'm so sorry. I hear your pain. Looks like you could use prayer. Because that's a touchy and difficult, situation. Endometriosis can do that. And cause infertility, too. But if you can still conceive... You can have a child. And you still may have to have surgery for the Endometriosis. But don't know if anyone has told you? It's very high risk pregnancy. When you have the Endometriosis,too. And you can have a miscarriage, too. Which is painful as well. But place in God's hands. If it's meant to be. He'll let you have a baby or more. Some women can even with the Endometriosis. It's dangerous though for you, and the baby both. Do be careful.

  • Hello, I'm so sorry your finding it so hard, please keep positive, there are a number of endo mums, that have conceived in the end after a struggle yes, but got there in the end, don't give up, if you can get Ivf again I wish you all the luck in the world, if you are feeling down, I would think about what the doc said about help, both anti depressants and counselling might be a good idea, xxx

    and ginger, I don't think there is a risk to mother or baby, so I would suggest you check your research before stating that in reply,

  • I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. You are NOT a failure! You are living with a chronic illness and not getting the support you need from your GP - thats not your fault! I take it you aren't having any kind of treatment for the endo at the moment? If I were you, I'd ask to be referred to an endo specialist, if you havent already. Most GPs don't understand endo and many gynaes don't either. Although I'm not trying to conceive, my endo specialist is also a fertility specialist (Leeds) and you may find someone like that who can understand and help you. Don't give up!

  • I'm trying to stay positive. No I can't have children, because of the Endometriosis. And having to have hysterectomy. And they had to put me in a medical menopausal state. Stopping my periods medically, because bleeding was so bad. Count your blessings. If you can still have children. That's a very special gift. I'm ok. Thanks for your support. You stay positive. It's important. You have a lot to be happy about.

  • It is so hard. Definitely ask to be referred to a specialist. I am infertile due to the endo too, recently had excision surgery to help with pain etc, still infertile obviously as both tubes and ovaries very damaged but they cut my tubes (couldn't remove them as stuck to bowel) and apparently this greatly increases the success rate of ivf . Something to do with the fluid in damaged tubes can affect the embryo. Also the specialist centres often have ivf specialists attached too so you can get really good advice. I am single now and can't afford ivf on my own but I have looked on hfea website and I believe you can appeal against some rules in your area in some cases. Might be worth looking into it. Also, I know a lot of people go to places like Spain for ivf now. Sounds scary but works for lots of people, a lot cheaper in some cases. Don't give up. Speak to a specialist, put your foot down, wishing you all the luck in the world.

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