Recommended to try for a baby: I had my lap... - Endometriosis UK

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Recommended to try for a baby

mmaybs profile image
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I had my lap last week, where my doctor found and removed minor endometriosis on both my ovaries. He recommended that my husband and I try for a baby ‘straight away’.

It’s made me a little nervous. I’m 24, been married for 2 years.

How soon after a lap would endo start growing back? Has anyone else been told the same thing? What’s the likelihood of me actually getting pregnant quickly?

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mmaybs profile image
mmaybs
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luthien profile image
luthien

It seems to be the way with some doctors; they ask if you are planning or not, if you are you should have a baby if you're not then they put you on hormones. It's really annoying. Pregnancy or hormones will not stop endo, it pauses it or slows it's growth, but it will come back after or when you stop hormones.

You're still young, and this shouldn't be put on you if you're not at that point in your relationship. You do what you feel is right for you and your marriage. Too many relationships fall apart or are strained because of that pressure, our relationships already have enough stress from everyday things.

I told my specialist I wasn't planning or preventing; we have a healthy relationship and an amazing love life, if things happen they happen, if not then we'll figure it out, but we're not having some medical professional tell me what I'm doing with my inside or how my hubby should be performing, that's intimate and will happen whenever it does, if it does. For now we're just enjoying each day as it comes and valuing each other.

It needs to be making love not having sex just for conception. So develop that part in your own time and incorporate it into your relationship x

There are other treatments for endo and a good specialist should run through all the options including surgery to remove endo. I have a good book on endo and it says if your specialist suggests a hysterectomy, hormones or having a child without first investigating further you should change specialist; they should want to first remove the endo to see how you cope and then look at treating what symptoms remain before suggesting added pressure to your relationship or putting you in a position you're not ready for. Most specialists will not discuss the side effects or consequences unless asked; pregnancy will pause the endo but for some women it comes back worse after and thus they feel they cannot give the child all the attention it needs because they are ill. Personally I'm having as much endo excised as possible then we'll discuss fertility with my specialist so we both know what happens next, we'll also check his at the same time.

I'm 32 and been married for 1 year, been going out with my hubby before that for 10 years so we know each other well and have discussed children, but we don't want to be pressured into it, the main thing is that we are both healthy to live out our lives and if children are part of the future then make sure we are healthy at the time to look after them, or one. If we aren't able to have children then that will be upsetting but some things just aren't meant to be and that's okay; some people are just meant for other paths :)

But am I right in thinking that it's not necessarily recommended as a cure and sometimes advised because you may have trouble conceiving. My mum works with a girl who has had to have an ovary removed due to endo and now been advised to try because she could lose the other. I am not trying to alarm you, but maybe if you don't know where you are at and feel nervous then you should perhaps ask the questions to your doctor. I would agree that if they advise it as a cure, don't believe that and take your time with having a family x

luthien profile image
luthien in reply to

It is offered as a way of having children if there are difficulties due to endo but often those that specialise in endo are not specialists in fertility, so that suggestion I feel shouldn't lie with the endo specialist; it should be referred to a fertility specialist.

There is now a way of having your eggs frozen, for future use and it is offered to those with reproductive problems. Often they're frozen for use with IVF in the future if there could be problems conceiving. I can't remember where it was mentioned but it was in the news a few months ago. It is a private thing, just as sperm can be frozen for future use.

I just personally feel there's so much pressure on us in life already to then have an added pressure of "do it now, otherwise you may never" the feeling of must have a child seems to be put on us by society and I don't think it's fair!

It's your life, your relationship, your body, you decide when you want to have children, if for some reason you can't then you work through that when you get to it, some of us don't have our life planned out, and plans don't always work - that leads to disappointment - just focus on now and being healthy, together and have a strong bond; then whatever happens you'll get through it together xx

Yeah definitely. I'm 24 and already thinking "should I just start now in case I regret waiting" i'm terrified of it and like you said, it puts so much pressure on the relationship. I would be happy to have a child now, in a good relationship, good financially, got a home etc. But i know deep down if I didn't have endo in the back of my mind I wouldnt yet. I still feel like I want to live just a little bit more of my life just me and him. Few more things to get done for us..enjoy each other....you know before the little ones make an appearance and you don't get any time to yourself hehe! I didn't know you could freeze eggs, so that's good to know thank you xxx you are very right, every one should have the right to take life at the pace they want and not feel pressure. But we need the right care and advice in order to do that, and that's hard to find :(

luthien profile image
luthien in reply to

yeah I sooooo know what you mean, we like our freedom at the moment hope it doesn't sound too selfish, and *ahem* our time whenever we like obviously normal life permitting! I hear that's the first thing to go when having children, ahhh couldn't cope with that, we have that closeness, plus I like it :p if you get what I mean lol!

live your life, be happy, enjoy and do what you want; we don't live on this earth that long and we don't know what will happen in the future or tomorrow - so take each day as it comes - it's a gift - that's why we call it the present :)

Runner92 profile image
Runner92

I got told the same thing had my lap last October... I’m 26 I am now two months pregnant. They told me it would take a while it took me one month to get pregnant! Haha!

I will warn you now you still get endo pain when pregnant because as your womb expands and changes it stretches the endo so you still get the pains which is horrible I’m sorry to say! No body told me this before I got pregnant I got rushed into the hospital and had to be seen by the consultant who explained all this

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