Deciding when to try and conceive?

[Jaynow]

I'm 25, currently on Ovranette to suppress symptoms (reasonably successfully). I was diagnosed with endometriosis after having a laparoscopy at 18 (very fortunate it only took me three years of trying to get diagnosed). I had pretty severe pain but at the time of the laparoscopy only had mild visible endometriosis. I came off Ovranette once and it took me 8 months to get my natural period back, after which I immediately started again due to the crippling pain levels.

I'm very keen on having a family (as is my partner) but have found little information as to what age it is safe to leave it to before trying to conceive. It's not ideal to start now, as I'm beginning a PhD this October and my partner's likely to be living away for the next three years. The information I've found generally suggests that endo gets progressively worse over time, as of course does fertility. I've read that the only way to find how your endo is progressing is to have more surgery, but surgery carries its own risks of worsening internal scarring/fertility. I'm worried that the longer I leave it the more I'm risking not being able to conceive. Is starting by 28 a good idea to maximise my chances?

I know it's unlikely that anyone has any solutions but I would be very interested in any input or experiences in deciding when to have kids with an endo diagnosis hanging over you.

[Nikki84]

Hi,

Personally I would start trying now, endometriosis can get worse quickly, I have been trying to conceive for the past 8yrs and I am now 33yrs and still not pregnant and am now stage 4, I know everyone is different but if you really want kids and it means that much to you, I wouldn't take the risk to wait, hope this helps a little x

[Jaynow in reply to Nikki84]

Thanks that is helpful - I am definitely starting to consider it as I don't want to look back and regret not trying earlier. I suppose I hadn't accounted for possibly having a family so soon but endometriosis does put it all in a different frame

[Hidden]

Hi Jaynow,

I had a lap for appendicitis at 22, I remember the surgeon saying he saw endo instead, that's why I was in pain!!

I got pregnant at 32 fairly 'easily' once I got my temperature and ovulation day perfectly right (I'm defo not one to fall preggo out of the blue like some women do 🙄) - I think it's because my ovaries and fallopian tubes were not (too badly if at all) affected by endo, nor was my uterus I guess. I just stayed on bc until I was ready to have a baby, ie after my PhD.

What I'm saying is every person's endo is different and no one can say how bad it will be in 5 years. But it might be worth taking some sort of hormonal treatment (for me, mini pill was sufficient) to keep it under control - which is difficult to establish in itself since pain level and symptoms are not proportional to endo stage!

So many variables and unknowns, I'm sorry I'm not very helpful 🙄

Good luck 👍

Ps: my mistake was to think that having a baby had 'cured' it as I was told and not going back on the pill straight after! It took only 6 months of periods for the level of pelvic and bladder pain to develop through the roof. My second mistake was to stop my non stop pill to let my body go all natural for more than 1 year before trying for baby 2- big mistake I should have tried for baby straight after stopping the pill before endo developed further 😖😖 now, I don't know if I'll be able to have baby 2 ☹️

[Jaynow in reply to Hidden]

Hi Esmereldave4 - thank you so much for this reply, it was very helpful. You definitely made me think about the difficulties in having a second baby, which is something I would hope for but hadn't considered as I was so focused on whether I could get pregnant at all.

I'm going to see my doctor in a few weeks for advice and to ask where my endometriosis was found during my last surgery (I wasn't told at the time), although I'm not sure there's much she can help with until I start actually trying!

[CE_88_14]

We tried for nearly 3 years before it happened for us and that included 1 failed IVF and 2 surgeries the first which actually diagnosed me but NHS didn't touch it then I went private to have it removed and the first full cycle post surgery I was pregnant. We started trying when I was 25 and I will be 29 by the time my wee one arrives. I would say its up to you there are ways and means these days but don't feel pressured into it. If hormones keeps it at bay for now then you try and nothing happens surgery is an option then you have fertility treatment as well xx

[dolly29]

Hi I would say if you both feel ready to go for it. I was 24 when I was diagnosed and started trying as so as I had recovered. After 2.5 years I had another lap to remove endo and found it had progressed to stage 4 in 2.5 years I thankfully fell pregnant 4 months after that surgery in and had my little one at the age of 27.

I have been trying again for baby 2 for another 19months. But I know that my endo is stopping it.

Good luck

[staceymacg]

Hey!

I'm in a similar situation. I'm 20 and still trying to be diagnosed. My fiancé and I had always planned for children but me getting sick has put a different take on things and we are going to start trying later this year! Xx

[Jaynow in reply to staceymacg]

Hi Stacey - it is reassuring to hear from someone in a similar position. It's hard when all of your friends are working on a very different time scale, and seem to have so much more freedom to decide when to try.

Also - I came across some of your other posts on the struggle to be diagnosed. I think I was lucky but it might be helpful to you to know my problems with diagnosis as well. I was initially told (like most of us) that period pains were 'normal', and they repeated this many times from about 15-17. When I was 17-18 I went to the doctor and said that despite the fact that I wanted children I would like to request a hysterectomy because I simply couldn't live with the pain any longer. It was only at this point that my GP thought something might be seriously wrong and referred me to the head gynaecologist at my local hospital. The head gynaecologist immediately said that it must be endo, he booked me in for a lap and told me to take the pill without breaks (which luckily was a complete lifesaver for me).

After waking up from the laparoscopy a junior doctor was sent in and he told me, "we did find endometriosis, but it was mild so we don't think it can have been causing your pain"(!). This absolutely devastated me - that horror that there isn't any cause and that maybe the horrifying pain is 'all in your head' etc. it was only after going away and looking it up that I found that the medical consensus is that there was no necessary connection between the extent of the endo and the pain. It's horrendous to go through but unfortunately the whole system seems geared against diagnosis/being helpful to the huge section of the population that suffers from this. Although everyone struggles most do eventually get diagnosed and very often what the doctors say is wrong - I say that as someone who generally trusts medical opinion, but it is just unbelievable how useless they can be with endometriosis. I really hope you do find someone who can help.

[staceymacg in reply to Jaynow]

Thankyou!! Yeah I totally agree, too many medical professionals are completely clueless with endo and it's shocking.

It is hard being so young and having so many fears. All my friends my age are either in university or starting their careers meanwhile I'm in and out of hospital and planning a family. We are going to start trying hopefully around September, hopefully by then I will have seen a specialist and will have had another lap and be diagnosed! Xx

[Jaynow in reply to staceymacg]

Well good luck! I might be in the same boat (depending on what my GP says next week - although sadly I doubt they'll be helpful) - although honestly I live in total fear of coming off the pill, like you I found most painkillers did almost nothing for it.

[staceymacg in reply to Jaynow]

GP's are never much help sadly. Yep painkillers do nothing. I'm now on 40mg slow release MST a day, 500mg naproxen and anti sickness tablets and I also have 10mg fast release MST to take as needed and STILL I am in pain!! Xxx