Advice please?

[Liloldme]

Okay so I know that endo can be hard to deal with and as I've said before i haven't been diagnosed YET. But I was just hoping for a bit of advice. Basically I'm terrified to have sex because the last few times I did with my boyfriend it was agonizing.. I carried out because i didn't want to let him know out of embarrassment however i nearly cried after. I also can't drink because I'm on 3 lots of meds and gotta have 6 tablets a day. >.< Obviously it shouldn't matter but i mean if we can't have sex and we can't go drinking or stay in and drink it kinda puts a slight strain on the relationship because we can't do two of the things we enjoy the monst. yano?

Anyway. Has anyone else had this issue and how did you deal with it? Any advice would be appreciated and no 'leave him' stuff please. thank you <3

[JeanOsborne]

Just be honest with him. There are more ways to be intimate with each other.

I an count on one hand the amount of times my husband and I have had sex over the past 2 years. You just need to be honest with each other and get creative.

With regards to alcohol , you don't need to drink to have a good time.

Hope things work out for you.

[Liloldme in reply to JeanOsborne]

I know you don't need alcohol but he likes to drink and so do I. I'm having to change so many things in my life style and It's affecting him too. I understand how it can be hard for him but I also don't know how to make it easier for him. I have no drive either whereas he has a sky high one. I'm just so urgh. :'c

[Tryx]

So sorry to hear of your problems, It can be difficult on a relationship and I understand how you feel. I think you do need to be honest with your boyfriend as this is the first step to improve things as your anxiety will have a negative impact on when getting intimate as your muscles etc will be tensing up making it much more painful and I don't think he'll like the fact that it hurts you so much. So be honest and try to relax to as that helps, and try different things to be intimate, penetration doesn't have to be the goal each time, you can slowly work your way up together comfortably, try baths together , massages etc and just enjoying each other. If you want to go all the way maybe try lubes etc which can be helpful. This can help you I think and it's not about making it easier just for him, it's about you Hope so don't forget that, once he knows it'll lessen the stress of it all. Regards the drinking I am t total and don't think you need to drink to have a good time but I understand that it is something that you enjoy etc, try alcohol free wines and beers maybe or mocktails so that you don't feel like you're missing out ? Hope that this helps in anyway xx

[kt20]

You would be surprised how awful he will feel when you tell him whats going on. I did the same thing for about 6 months, not telling my partner that I was in agony every time we slept together. When I finally did tell him he cried like a little kid, cuddled me and begged me never to let him hurt me again. We have been together for 4 years and sex is a rare occurrence due to my endo but I think the major effect that endo has had on our relationship is not the sex side of things but the hormonal mess I become every now and again haha!

Please do tell him, things can only get better from it

All the best, K. x

[Lisa-jane40]

I suffer with the same situation sex is very hard in my relationship because of the extreme pain it causes. I'm very lucky as my hubby is very understanding. The only advice I can give is gentle sex with him on top I was told this as it doesn't penetrate to deep