Problems sleeping with my other half...

[brightbunny]

I'm feeling so down at the moment. For the whole 10 months me and my other half have been together, we are constantly stressed over the fact I can't sleep with him properly anymore. It's too painful, and sometimes I feel not good enough because if we do it Monday for example, I'm out of action for at least another two days because it hurts so much. I don't know how I'm going to get through this. Just after my laparoscopy things seemed to get better, now they're just back to the way they were before. It's having a serious effect on my relationship. He tries to understand but I can see his frustration sometimes. Pain during sex is the worst

[Emma-louise]

Sorry to hear your having a rubbish time at the moment I know what you mean about the stress over it all though. I have pain during sometimes, and obviously it does take its toll on you both! I also find that 2 or 3 days after is the worst for me, as for some reason it seems to start my cycle, and so i spend the next week in horrific pain!

I really wish there was something i could say to help, but its just listening to your body and if you know a certain position is going to cause you the pain, then you just have to rule that one out!

Talk to your other half about it, as it honestly will help! I was so worried that my boyfriend would be so angry and fed up, but he totally understands and wants me to be in as little pain as possible, so you just have to work around it and find other ways!

I hope your feeling better soon though!

Emma xxx

[brightbunny in reply to Emma-louise]

Thank you for your reply Emma yes it is tough! It really puts a strain on a relationship. It did before, and for a couple of weeks after the op I was fine, totally pain free. But it's crept back again and it's almost worse than before BECAUSE we've had the pain free period! Xx

[Emma-louise in reply to brightbunny]

Ah yer its horrible going back to normal for a while, after my op it was about 4 months afterwards

Wish there was some magical cure but unfortunately not xxx

[Dollar1414]

Pai during intercourse was my only symptom , it's horrible and there isn't much that can be done about it unfortunatly , ive had my endo excised and the pain is still there, ive been told the coil is meant to help but I haven't yet tried it, I find that the pain is worse after my period due to not having the pill for the seven days, so now I'm trying it back to back , hopefully we will find a solution x

[brightbunny in reply to Dollar1414]

I'm not sure about the cool either... I've never heard any good reviews to be honest I've been taking my pill back to back too, I have three months solidly taking it now, then a pill free week. That helped a lot! Xx

[Ginge74]

Pain during intercourse is a common symptom of endometriosis. Firstly go and talk to your GP about how painful it is so that further investigations can me made. If its penetration that causes the pain, which it generally is, then try other ways to please and satisfy each other. That way you are still being intimate with each other. Also try various positions until you find a position that is comfortable for you. The only way I could have penetration at one point was to lie on my side with my partner behind as if spooning and entering me from behind any other position was too uncomfortable. it all depends where in your pelvic cavity the endo is situated and how deep infiltrated it is. I do hope you find a way that suits you and your partner xx

[brightbunny in reply to Ginge74]

Thank you it's rubbish isn't it. As if we haven't got enough to deal with... I did in fact speak to my doctor this morning who told me there are such things as 'cones' which may help (!) which I can speak to the gyno specialist next week. Will let you know how I get on? Xx

[Ashleighkillick]

Hello Hun. I am In exactly the same boat 2 days though your lucky! Mines weeks! I'm lucky to still have my partner around. It's horrible there's nothing worse...

I'm awaiting my Laparoscoy hoping things will get better but I haven't heard a lot of good things about them....

Hope you get sorted Hun. Xxx

[brightbunny in reply to Ashleighkillick]

I know. It makes you feel like less of a person doesn't it. Like you're not adequate. Laparoscopy was fine, where are you having yours? It was great to get some relief, even if only for a couple of months. Never worry too much about it, they do the best they can. I'll even post a picture of the progress of my scars later if you'd like to follow me they look great and I'm proud of them. Only tiny. I was as worried as you are when I first had mine, I was shaking when they wheeled me in! It just means you have to look after yourself and rest up in the days after. You'll be looked after too! Xx

[Ashleighkillick in reply to brightbunny]

Yeah. Ive heard the pain and the endometriosis tissue does just keep coming back though 😥

It would be great to have some relief... It is really interfering with every day activities.. My back pain is the worst on a day to day basis & obviously my frequent urine infections...

The pain is dreadful when it's my time of the month aswell.. Absolutely awful...

Yes I will follow I you Hun. Thank you for the information to! Xxx

[brightbunny in reply to Ashleighkillick]

Yes it's definitely beneficial. I was so relieved afterwards. You might feel better for a month after the lap, or a year, everyone is different. The pain is horrible during my periods too, so much so that I've had to take time off in the past. Crazy. Hot water bottle is always at the ready trust me! Xx

[brightbunny]

It was found on my left ovary (as you look at me) and I have a scar on my knicker line just under my tummy. I don't know if that helps!

[klpgemini]

Sorry to be dim. But what is the cone used for? Never heard of it x

[brightbunny in reply to klpgemini]

They're cone shaped 'things' that go up in sizes, and apparently help with the problems associated with painful sex. I'll have to go into more detail when I see the specialist

[Miracle77]

The cones sound like dilators to help you be able to be penetrated which wont help in endo as used in women with vaginismus

[Kaysha40]

Hi bright bunny

Your not alone is all I can say, your post could not have said it any better. I feel the same, not good enough, one night I tried to be spontaneous, sexy, I tried every position I could think of nothing worked. After that night I was lay in bed on codeine, heat pad and had to stay there for two days.

There was nothing sexy about that

Since then I even find it hard to go near him.i don't want to lead him on for him to just feel rejected. I've even stopped getting any urges myself sometimes I see the hurt in his eyes, and it brakes my heart then comes the guilt, I'm so tired of the guilt. I feel like he feel he's my carer not my partner.

I just wanted you to know that I truly feel what you are feeling and you are not alone

Xx

[brightbunny in reply to Kaysha40]

It sucks doesn't it! Just nothing seems to work. It's like endo wants us to fail in every aspect of our lives, not just leaving it at ruining it! I just feel like I'm constantly letting him down and it can cause him to make him feel unloved. Then I'm so insecure that I start thinking about the other people he's slept with and the fact he's had no problems whatsoever with them. I feel like a nuisance.

[Hidden]

You're not alone girls, this is one of my symptoms too it's so painful now I don't even bother I've told him no sex Til I've recovered from my hyster 😔

Have you looked into adenomyosis this is what causes my painful sex

X

[brightbunny in reply to Hidden]

Just have looked into it actually, before this site I had no idea what it was, never even heard it before... It's interesting though! I wonder if it's what's causing the problem... Is there any particular cure for it or anything, do you know? X

[Hidden]

I had never heard of it before either I went back with my endo and he suspected I had adenomyosis too

I have had the mirena coil and prostap as they try and treat it with hormones but there is no cure at the moment

Mine is causing me so many problems I am having a hysterectomy in 2 weeks time

Just do some research and mention it to your consultant next it's best to be proactive

X

[brightbunny]

I have my appointment with gyno next Wednesday so will be able to ask plenty of questions... that being one of them!! How did the coil work for you? I must admit, I've never heard any good reviews about it... wondered if you were any different? I was offered mine before I had my op... I turned it down. They wouldn't have put it in anyway because they found endo... they only said they'd put it in if they didn't find anything. how are you feeling about the hysterectomy? mixed feelings..? x

[Hidden]

I don't think the coil did anything really, good or bad! It's still in there now I wouldn't let him touch me when I went back for my follow up, I don't even let my husband touch me lol

Have you had prostap yet?

That's the only thing that's dulled the pain really and stopped my bleeding but in exchange it gives you awful side effects!

[brightbunny in reply to Hidden]

ah okay... still not great though? no i haven't! what is it?

mmm... it doesn't seem like there's really a good solution does there! it sucks!

[Hidden]

It does suck

I don't think there is a lot for adenomyosis really

Just be proactive, always do your research, you're really young so so don't give up, tell them how much it's affecting your life and say it is affecting your sex life, it affects your quality of life

The only cure for adenomyosis is hyster but endo can come back whenever

If it's endo ask them to cut it out rather than laser it as the chances of it coming back are lower

Look into the endo diet too, it may help you with inflammation in your pelvis and womb

If you're bleeding a lot get some iron supplements like spa tone or done vitamins

Try and keep your health up and your mind healthy

It all helps

Xx

[bellsa55]

Being a girl sucks... Lol

I also have similar issues. I had a laparoscopy to remove endometriosis last Wednesday and a coil fitted. I'm in a lot of discomfort.

Not had the pain during sex, but for about a month before my op I had awful pains.

My OH is understanding but I feel so distant from him as we've not being intimate for a good 4 weeks and usually we can't get enough of each other.

It's the hardest stress on our relationship.

Hopefully you'll get some answers soon hunny Xx